The One Decision You Will Always Regret
by Isabel164
Summary: Meredith and Derek 'hide' in the trailer as often as they can, away from the hospital and their sometimes annoying friends. But what happens when one of those days the weather takes a turn for the worse while they went out for a hike.
1. Chapter 1

**The One Decision You Will Always Regret**

_Authors note: _

_Welcome to my first story. I hope you will like it! As you can see I'm new here as in writing stories. I've read a lot of other fan fictions and have been thinking about writing one self a long time ago. If something goes not planned like how you may see it when you read it, it's because I'm new to this and don't really know how everything works. Well, this was my first authors note and I hope it's not going to be my only one :) _

_Have a lot of fun reading my story! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. _

**Chapter 1: It's not as it seems**

It was yet another beautiful summer morning in Seattle. It was 6 AM and the sun was just peeking through the bedroom window. Meredith and Derek were still sound asleep, which is unusual for them since she just became a resident and he as the best neurosurgeon of the country a complicated schedule. Meredith and Derek were still sleeping when Cristina burst into the room.

''Meredith..'' Cristina said, out of breath. ''have you seen the news?''

''What..?'' Meredith said, still half asleep.

''The news… have you seen the news? Don't say you've missed that'' Cristina said.

''What are you talking about Cristina. It's me and Derek's day off and you're waking me up at 6:15 AM to see the news?'' Meredith said, a little bit agitated that Cristina had woken her and Derek up.

''You should've seen it already by now Mer. It's huge'' Cristina said, overly excited about it.

''Cristina, please go away I don't want to have anything to do with it. I'm supposed to spend the day with Derek, and we were planning to go to the trailer'' Meredith said.

''Why? Why this day of all days! We've awesome surgeries to get to. Isn't that what we live for? Come on Mer, get out of bed and go the hospital. I give you 15 minutes to get ready'' Cristina said in a stern voice.

''Cristina, please, I don't want to go to the hospital. I'm tired and I'm going to spend the day with Derek like I said. Nothing can change that. Not even the biggest disaster in history'' Meredith said.

''What's going on with you? You're not Mer'' Cristina said, a bit perplexed.

''What's going on with me is that I'm tired and that I don't want to go, okay? Just leave it Cristina'' Meredith said.

''Whatever'' Cristina said. ''But you're going to miss out on a lot of great, kick-ass surgeries''

''That's fine with me'' Meredith said.

Cristina left the room and a minute later she heard the slamming of a door shut. She was relieved that she didn't have to put up with Cristina anymore than she'd have to. Meredith breathed a sigh of relieve and rolled to face Derek.

''Derek'' Meredith said.

''Mmmmm'' Derek said.

''Is it weird that I don't want to go the hospital for good surgeries?'' Meredith said, deep in thought.

''Why should that be weird'' Derek said. ''You have been working almost every day, you rarely take breaks and if you do, they only last 10 minutes. You're supposed to feel like this after back to back surgeries all month''.

''But I live to be a surgeon.'' I'm supposed to get an adrenaline boost from crashes that huge, even when I'm tired.'' Meredith said.

''Just let it be. We have the day off together and we're going to spend the day well at the trailer. Just the two of us. Without a disturbing Cristina'' He said, a grin on his face.

'' Yeah, you're right. let's get up and take a shower together and then we can go to the trailer'' She said, a genuine smile on her face.

After they'd taken a shower together and ate breakfast, they made their way to his car. They drove in silence to the ferry and had a great view of the early morning sun. It was bound to be a beautiful summer day. Not really hot but just good enough to not bring a bunch of sweaters and jackets to the trailer. They drove to the trailer and when they arrived they saw the sun reflecting on the lake. It gave a magical view to the area.

''Wow it's so beautiful out here. Never saw this place in the summer'' Meredith said.

''It is'' Derek said, amazed by the view himself.

''Come, let's go unpack what little we've packed'' He said, a bit laughing.

When Meredith was busy unpacking, Derek noticed what she had brought along.

''Meredith, do you really need all these things? We're only going to stay here for one night. I only packed one t-shirt, hair products and a toothbrush.''

''But you're a man. Women just need more stuff. Haven't you learned that by now already?'' She said a bit laughing.

'' Cristina doesn't'' He said, obviously brainless.

''Derek'' She said. ''You're really brainless aren't you? you know Cristina. She rarely wears any cloths other than scrubs''

''Still… '' He said.

'' Derek, come on let's go for a hike when it' still sunny and comfortable'' She said excited.

''Okay, but let me check the weather first before we go because you never know what the weather will be the next few hours. It's still Seattle'' He said, in a pretty serious tone.

'' Okay mister grumpy…. Lighten up a bit! Look outside. The weather isn't going to chance over the next couple of hours and we will be back before dark''

'' Before dark!'' He said perplexed.

''Yes, before dark'' She said. I already packed food and water and everything else we need for a long walk in the woods!''

''Meredith… I don't know if this is such a good idea. The wea-

''No'' Meredith interrupted him. ''Please Derek, I really need this. I really need to forget everything that's going on at home and in the hospital and just have a nice day together. Can we do that? Please…''

'' Okay'' He said after a few seconds. ''If it makes you happy, It will make me happy'' He said with a happy, loving smile on his face.

''Thank you Derek'' She said, and kissed him deeply. ''This will make me very, very happy, especially because you're with me''

''Your wish is my command'' He said in his always charming voice and kissed her again and again…

So caught up in each other, they forgot to check the weather channel and left for their hike with just one bag which only contains 2 bottles of water, 4 sandwiches and a cell phone….


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's note: _

_Thank you so much for the people who've read the first chapter. And a special thanks to SeriouslyMcdreaming for giving me my first review! :)I really appreciate it and I hope I will receive more reviews when my story develops. So here is chapter 2! Though this chapter might be a little less long, I still hope you will enjoy reading it! Because it's hard writing a story and especially when it's your first. Reviews are always welcome ;) _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. _

**Chapter 2: Hope**

_So caught up in each other, they forgot to check the weather channel and left for their hike with just one bag which only contains 2 bottles of water, 4 sandwiches and a cell phone…._

It was a little after 10 AM when they left for their hike and everything was looking as quiet and peaceful as it was 4 hours ago. So nothing could have prepared them for what was coming…

''Derek,'' Meredith said. '' I really love you for doing this for me, I know you actually didn't want to go and-

''Meredith, of course I wanted to go, you know I wouldn't miss a thing about this. I was just a little tired this morning, that's all'' He said.

''Still, thank you for doing this. I know your original plan was to stay at the trailer and spend the evening together in peace.'' She said.

''I don't mind, really, as long as you like this, I like this'' He said in such a sweet tone.

They were walking alongside the river. The sun was shining brightly through the woods and they were enjoying every minute of their day, together.

''Derek, you know you're being really cheesy, right'' She said with a loving, almost a bit laughing tone.

''I'm not'' He said, in protest.

''You are'' She said , not able to hide her laughter anymore. ''But I love you anyways''

''Thanks Mer, that really gives my ego a boost'' He said sarcastically.

''See Derek'' Meredith said after they were walking for about an hour. ''The weather is still nice and comfortable and I think it will stay this way since yesterday was all rainy. And you know, after rain comes sunshine! Obviously over excitedly that it was such a beautiful day when they both had the day off.

''It's Seattle Me- Oh no'' Derek said, on high alert.

''Derek's what's wrong?''She said worried.

''I forgot to check the weather channel when we left'' He said.

''Derek'' She said while she breathed a sigh of relief. ''Are you really serious about this? Look around you. It's never been such a beautiful and warm day in ages. You should be happy about it, not worried that it can change any minute''

He pondered her response for a few seconds and said: ''Yeah, you're probably right. We should enjoy this rarely beautiful summer day''

''While we still can'' He said a second later with an evil grin on his face.

''Derek'' She smacked him playfully on his arm. ''You always know what to say, don't you?''

''I can't help it'' He said, with an obvious big smile on his face that said nothing but happiness. Happy to be with her on this beautiful day and take that hike she so desperately wants and obviously needs.

They were now walking for about 2 hours and it was obvious they enjoyed their free time together. Away from the hospital, and just taking in the nature they were silently both longing for for a very long time since they got so busy at the hospital. It wasn't often that they had both the day off and it couldn't be a better day. Everything seemed perfect.

Suddenly Derek sneezed. ''Derek'' Meredith said concerned. ''Are you getting sick again? You've been grumpy, tired and monosyllabic all morning and you're not really being you. Oh god and you've just had a fever a week ago''

''Mere-'' Derek was trying to say but got interrupted once again.

''Oh no, I shouldn't have convinced you to take this hike in the first place. And now y-

''Meredith, calm down'' Derek said. ''It's nothing, really. Just a stupid cold.

''No Derek'' She said stern. ''I should've known you weren't fully recuperated to take such a long walk this early.

She pondered this for a while and said: ''We should go back to the trailer and drive home''.

''No'' Derek said immediately. ''I'm fine, and we're going to do this hike. I really want to Meredith. And I know you want that too''.

''I do'' She said, now in doubt by his response. ''But if you get sick agai-''

''Meredith, I promise you I won't get sick. Do I look sick to you?''He said a bit teasingly.

''Derek, this isn't something to joke about'' She said.

''I know'' He said. ''But let's just enjoy this day and not worry about anything else''.

''Okay'' She said after a few seconds of taking in his features and deciding that he at least didn't look sick. But still not convinced that he was telling her the truth she added ''But you need to promise me that you will tell me when you're feeling you're getting sick again, because I don't want to be responsible for you getting a second fever in such a short period of time''.

''Okay Mer, I promise'' He said sincerely.

''And drink some water and eat something because you really need something in your stomach for this long hike'' She said, now on full mother mode.

''I will Mer'' He said, now almost scared to contradict her.

After they had both eaten a sandwich and drank some water they continued their hike. They were now gone for about 2 and a half hours and the sky became a bit clouded. The sun was still shining but less strong than an hour before. But so caught up with Derek's health and her strong desire to complete this hike, they didn't notice. And if they did, nothing could've warned them for what was coming…


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's note:_

_So here's chapter 3 of my story! It's longer than usual but I think you all don't mind :p Though I have to say that writing this chapter in particular was difficult to do because of the intensity of it and the situation they are in. And I came up with different developments and outcomes so that took quite some time too and that explains the little delay. But eventually it all worked out, so here's chapter 3 and I hope you will like the way I brought it. Chapter 4 you can expect in about 4 or 5 days due to the developments in this chapter which will be tough to write for chapter 4. REVIEWS are more than welcome ;) :p_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. _

**Chapter 3: Caught off guard**

_After they had both eaten a sandwich and drank some water they continued their hike. They were now gone for about 2 and a half hours and the sky became a bit clouded. The sun was still shining but less strong than an hour before. But so caught up with Derek's health and her strong desire to complete this hike, they didn't notice. And if they did, nothing could've warned them for what was coming…_

They were on full walk mode by 14:15 AM and Meredith took quite the pace. Derek, wanting to be the strong one acted like he could easily follow but had quite some difficulties. His 104 degree mind burner last week really did a number on his stamina and that didn't go unnoticed by Meredith.

''Derek'' Meredith said. ''Are you feeling alright? You promised me you would tell me when you were not feeling well . And it seems like you can't quite follow, which is unusual in your case''

''Meredith'' Derek said, a little out of breath. ''I'm fine. And I thought we had already discussed this. No worries''. Now he being the stubborn one.

Meredith grew a bit worried when she saw him panting and instinctively put the back of her hand on his forehead. ''Derek'' She said. ''I think you have a slight fever''

''I'm not sick Mer, really'' He said.

''Yeah right and I'm Santa Claus'' She said joking, but you could still find a bit of worry in her voice.

''Really Mer, nothing's wrong with me'' He said.

''Derek, be honest with me for once and tell me when you're not feeling well because I know you don't right now and I also know that you being tired comes from last week. But still… you should be well enough for a hike and especially when the weather is this good'' She said.

''Mer'' Derek said. Suddenly noticing the weather change. ''You can leave that last part out''

''Derek, what are you talking about'' She said. Confusing taking over her worry for Derek's health.

''The weather Mer. It has changed'' He said and his finger was now pointing to the almost fully clouded sky.

''What the-'' And she was silenced by a rain drop falling out of the sky.

A few second later they heard thunder and the rain was now quickly taking over her dry cloths.

'' Oh no'' She said. ''Why does this always happen to us'' She said, a bit of anger noticed in her voice.

''Because it's Seattle Mer'' He said, a bit laughing. ''It rains in Seattle''

''Yeah I know that for God's sake Derek. It's hard enough as it is. I don't need you being smart on me too. She said, obviously agitated by the sudden weather change.

''I think saying that it wasn't necessary to check the weather channel is not a good timing'' He said, trying to bring the humor back.

''No it's not Derek, absolutely not'' She said, now fully agitated thanks to his comment.

It was raining quite heavily by now and they were trying their best not to get to soaked, but they knew that was a lost case.

''I think we need to try and search for an open cave to hide in till the worst is over'' Derek said.

''Yeah, you're right'' She said in agreement.

They were walking for about 10 more minutes when they found surprisingly an sort of open cave.

''Derek'' She said, surprised by their newfound accommodation. ''Did you know there were caves here? It's kind of strange don't you think?''

''I haven't been walking this far so I couldn't know'' He said. ''But it does make sense though since this area is like a billion years old and 20 miles long''

''Okay'' She said. ''But still… it's strange''

They were inside now for about a half hour and it still didn't stop raining. Suddenly she noticed Derek shivering.

''Derek'' She said cautiously. ''Are you cold? because don't tell me you're sick''

''Mer, I'm not sick. My clothes are just soaked through'' He said.

''Are you implying that you're not sick? Because it seems to me that you are and the shivering only conforms my suspicion'' She tried to stay calm and not show her worries for Derek but she didn't succeed.

''Mer'' He said through chattering teeth. ''I'm not sick, really. And we should get going, I can rest at the trailer.''

''Derek, we're 4 hours away from the trailer and the last hour it's open field and with this thunder that's not possible. We need to stay here till the storm is over '' She said.

''I should've checked the weather channel before we left'' He said. ''It's all my fault. If I had checked it before we left we wouldn't be in this position right now''

''Derek, this is not the time to blame yourself, do you hear me. It's not your fault. If anyone has the blame it's me.'' She said.

''Mer'' He said weakly. ''Don't do this, don't blame yourself. We should worry how to get the hell out of here''.

''Derek I-'' But was interrupted by Derek's coughing

''Derek'' She said, really worried by the sound of his cough.

''Mer'' He said, in between his coughing

''Derek here'' She said, and she handed him over a bottle of water. The last they had left.

He took a few large gulps and the coughing spree was over. For now… Meredith put the back of her hand on Derek's forehead again and was shocked by the sickening warmth it gave her.

''Derek'' She tried to remain calm for his sake. ''You're burning up with fever''

''I'm okay'' He said, trying to soothe Meredith but it only pissed her off more.

''Derek, don't say that bullshit to me. It's obvious you're not okay. You're far from okay and you saying that you're okay doesn't really help me to stay calm'' She said worried and angrily at the same time.

''Here Derek'' She took a sweater out of the bag and gave it to him. ''Wear it. It's not wet yet because I put it in the bag just in case. It will help you to keep what little warmth you've left''

''Thanks Mer but I don't need it'' He said determined.

''Derek, don't be stupid. Just because you don't care about your health doesn't mean I don't'' She said, anger seeping back into her once semi calm voice.

''Mer, what if you get sick or even worse, hurt. And I don't want to be responsible for you getting sick too. Because you're obviously tinnier than me'' He gave the sweater back to her with a half broken smile and such a sweet face, it made her heart melt and just give in with whatever he asked her to wear or do.

''But Dere-'' He interrupted her and said: ''No more buts. Just let's stay here for a while till the rain slows down a bit and then we will walk back and hopefully be at the trailer before dark okay?''

''Okay'' She said in defeat.

It was 3:30 AM by now and they were hiding for the rain, thunder and whirlwinds for 1 hour already and their hope at getting back before dark was slowly slipping out of their minds when the weather only got worse. But suddenly Meredith got an idea. An idea that could help them to get out of here before darkness strikes.

''Mer'' Derek said weakly, leaning against a rock to support his body. ''What are you doing?''

''I'm trying to find- Yes!'' And she grabbed the cell phone out of the bag.

''I'm going to call Cristina so she can get us out of here'' She said excited and happy that salvation was nearby.

''Mer, is that you? Cristina said.

''Oh thank god! Meredith said.

''Mer, what's going on? Cristina said a bit confused as to why her person would call her when she's with Derek alone at the trailer.

''Cristina you will not believe in what kind of situation we are in right now'' Meredith said a bit out of breath as a result of her sudden excitement over hearing her person's voice.

''Mer, I don't think I want to know'' Cristina said, thinking that what they do all the time is now going on too but with a bit of alcohol in the game because why would she call her person when she's doing it with Derek. Again.

''Oh no Cris it's not what you think it is, really'' Meredith said. Her excitement taken back by the suspicion of her person.

''No Mer, I don't have time for this. I need to hear it all the time when you guys are at home and I've just had a really tough day at work and I'm really glad I will have a very silent, lovely night tonight so please Mer, please, I don't want to know, okay. Cristina said.

''Cristina please, just listen to me okay. Derek and I are in big tr- NO! She screamed when she saw Derek vomiting and moaning and slowly seeping out of consciousness. She breathed hard and panic rose in her throat. Suddenly she couldn't speak coherent anymore and her words came out slurred.

''Cristina, please.. lis - She breathed more than spoke.

''No, I can't listen to it anymore I'm serious. Have fun Mer. Bye.

''NO CRISTINA!'' She shrieked. But she had already disconnected the call.

Meredith threw her phone away and you could hear that it had broken into a million pieces. She started to cry. The anger,frustration,desperation and worry coming out of her body all at once. After a few seconds being completely into another world, she quickly thought of Derek.

She knelt in front of him and felt his forehead. ''Oh my God'' She thought, but it came out in words. ''Derek, can you hear me? Derek!'' She said very loud, almost screaming.

''What… what's'' He slurred.

''Derek, come on, stay with me'' She said and slapped him in the face to make sure he stays awake.

''Mer, wha.. di..she….sa? He managed with his last efforts.

''Derek, don't worry about that now okay? Just focus on staying awake. And keep talking to me. Can you do that for me Derek? She said, trying her best to keep Derek awake and talking.

''Oka… I wi.. try'' He slurred.

She grabbed the bag and took out the last bottle of water they had left. ''Here, drink this Derek'' and he opened his mouth weakly. He tried to take some small sips but spluttered immediately.

Meredith reacted in a millisecond and held him captive in her arms with his head resting against her clavicle. ''It's okay Derek'' She tried to soothe him but it didn't really help.

''Whas goin.. to happn.. now ''He slurred. But was conscious enough to take in the situation they were in.

''I don't know Derek, I really don't know'' She said very calm but her inner voice wanted to scream out loud what she was really feeling. Anger and desperation. How are they going to get out of here…. alive?


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note:_

_So here's chapter 4! Hope you all liked what happened in chapter 3 and let me know what you think! Because I'd love to get more reviews! So enjoy my new chapter and REVIEW! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. _

**Chapter 4: Your only chance**

_''I don't know Derek, I really don't know'' She said very calm but her inner voice wanted to scream out loud what she was really feeling. Anger and desperation. How are they going to get out of here…. alive? _

The rain felt like pieces of brick clattering onto a wooden roof. It was painful to her airs. She was tired and wanted nothing more than just curl up in bed and sleep forever. Her joints were really starting to bother her now after walking for 4 hours and sitting for 2 hours straight. But she said to herself that she doesn't have anything to complain about because she wasn't the one who was very sick….

''Mer, how ..latee..iss..it?'' Derek slurred. His state of consciousness wasn't getting any better but luckily it wasn't getting any worse either.

''I don't know exactly but I guess around 6PM because it's getting dark'' Meredith said. Really hoping Derek didn't ask her more questions about her not knowing it exactly because he didn't know yet that she threw the phone away.

''Oh, okay'' He half slurred half said.

''Uhmm Derek…''She said, unsurely how to bring it correctly. ''I know we aren't in a good position right now and I also know that we can't stay here any longer but you know, I don't really know what we need to do and you, you're in no position to walk or even stand and I d-''

''Mer, you'r rmbling'' He slurred jokingly, with a small smile on his sweat covered pale looking face.

''Ohh'' She said, and silence took over. But it wasn't long before the silence was once again interrupted by an ear deafening thunderclap which put Meredith out of thought.

''Mer, I thnk.. the.. weaher..isn..gettn..any..bttr'' He slurred with definite desperation in his voice. He really didn't know how they could get out of this situation. But what he did know was that help wasn't on its way because he had heard Meredith screaming and after that silence. And he knew that those two emotions combined always meant a bad outcome. But he tried not to think about it because he knew that losing all hope only made their chances of survival smaller and he wasn't going to let that happen. So with all his effort and energy left he tried to stand up.

''I know Dere- DEREK!'' She screamed and got to him just in time to catch him before he fell down.

''Derek Christopher Shepherd'' She said stern, by now on full mother mode again. ''What were you thinking? Are you trying to kill yourself or something because this isn't the time and place and you know you're not supposed to stand up with a fever that high.''

''Mer, we nee.. to keepp.. on.. goin.. or we'r goin… to die… out..her..'' He slurred.

''Derek, like it said before, you don't have to worry about that. I will figure something out okay'' But she noticed that sadness and worry overtook his always bright and hopeful loving eyes and she immediately put her hands on his cheeks and said: ''We're going to get out of this alive Derek. No matter how but we will and that's the only thing you need to hold on to okay''

''Ok'' He slurred. Not having the courage to say anything in return.

She really did need to come up with a plan, and quick, because she knew Derek didn't have any more time left. And they only had one sandwich and a few gulps of water left and that obviously isn't enough for them to survive for a few more days. She thought about getting some sleep and hoping that by tomorrow the weather will be good enough to walk back to the trailer and get help but if she did that, Derek would be there all by himself and with his current condition that wasn't something she shouldn't and mostly even couldn't do. Because if he got a seizure, there would be no one to help him and he would die all alone. So the only option left was to go out and get help now, it was their only chance of survival they had.

''Derek'' Meredith said in an as sweet and calm voice as she possibly could at this moment, a moment that will obviously determine whether they will live or not. ''Are you still with me? I need to discuss something with you and it's very important okay''

''What Mer.. what r you goin to.. do'' He slurred. He was getting sleepy but he knew that falling asleep right now was not an option as it would obviously worsen his situation. And he couldn't do that to Meredith who is trying so hard and is obviously wearing herself out.

''Derek, I want you to listen really good to what I'm about to say and do not speak before I've said it okay?'' She said.

''Ok'' He slurred.

''I want to go back to the trailer and get hel-'' But Derek being Derek, he interrupted her.

''No mer, ..I do'n wan.. you t.. do tha.. please.. it's to dangrous….'' Derek slurred

''Derek..'' Meredith sighed. She had already expected that he wouldn't let her go alone but it was their only chance. ''It's our only chance and you know that. You know that you can't stay here any longer because you're..'' Suddenly Meredith began to cry. '' because.. you'r so sick… you should already be in th..e hospital and you…. you can DIE! Derek. You can die if I don't go and find help now'' She sobbed heavily by now and Derek knew she was right. But something inside him couldn't bear letting Meredith go all alone in this weather. And they had already walked for 4 hours so she would need to walk 4 hours back to the trailer and that is just…. unbearable.

''Merr… pleass…don't cry.. ''Derek slurred. ''I wan you t go really… bu.. th… weathr.. wht..if.. you..get hurt and I can't.. I just can't.. bear tha..''

''Derek, I need to do this and I need to do this now. So sorry Derek, but I'm going'' Meredith said. And she took one last look at Derek and could see the angst and sadness written on his face and she couldn't hide her emotions any longer so she burst out in crying again.

She cupped her hands on his cheeks and said: ''Derek, be strong for me okay, and hold on. Just hold on for me and we will see each other soon, I promise''

By now, Derek was crying too and couldn't think of anything to say so instead, he gave her the most extraordinary kiss ever.. and that kiss said more than a 1000 words…

With pain in her her heart she stood up and walked away from him. She couldn't bring to took one more look at Derek and see all the sadness and worry on his face that said: 'don't do this, please' but she had to. And with that she left…

Derek saw Meredith walking away with nothing but the clothes she had on. And suddenly it hit him. She had left the sweater and their last sandwich and water with him. And he just couldn't let her go without that.

''Mer.. you''v forgttn your sweatr and food'' He slurred, but knew instantly that she hadn't heard him. So he did what he never should have done in his condition. He tried to stand up to get her attention and succeeded barely. He supported his body against a large rock and tried again. ''Mer your sweatr.. and foood'' But once again, she didn't heard him.

Meredith took quite the pace and the cave got out of sight. She was soaked all over again, every joint in her body hurt and the fact that it was dark by now made the area look like a horror movie. But the thought of Derek maybe dying if she didn't get help fast kept her going.

''Merr'' Derek slurred. But he saw that she was getting out of sight so instantly he left the support of the rock and took one step forward, in hope that she could see him. His coordination and balance was completely gone but with all the strength he had left he kept standing and tried to take one more step but luck wasn't at his side and his foot was met with a small rock and that took him straight to the ground. With a loud thud, he hit the ground and he could immediately feel an excruciating amount of pain in his right arm and he let out an heartbreaking scream before everything went black. But the thunder and rain made it impossible for Meredith to hear this and she kept her pace…


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 5. I have to say that I'm not entirely happy with it as it doesn't involve any actual conversations with one another. But this chapter does have a big development for the story itself. As you know, Meredith went to get help so they were both on their own. And that obviously doesn't involve conversations. But there will be conversations in the next chapter and something big…._

_So, hope you enjoy reading it and let me know what you think because reviews make me happy and let me know that you enjoy reading it! So….. REVIEW!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. _

**Chapter 5: Hold on**

_''Merr'' Derek slurred. But he saw that she was getting out of sight so instantly he left the support of the rock and took one step forward, in hope that she could see him. His coordination and balance was completely gone but with all the strength he had left he kept standing and tried to take one more step but luck wasn't at his side and his foot was met with a small rock and that took him straight to the ground. With a loud thud, he hit the ground and he could immediately feel an excruciating amount of pain in his right arm and he let out an heartbreaking scream before everything went black. But the thunder and rain made it impossible for Meredith to hear this and she kept her pace…_

Meredith was walking for about an hour but didn't think she was getting very far. There was nothing noticeable as to where she was at this point and that didn't really help to keep going under the hard circumstances. She was so tired and got to the point that she would prefer passing out because that would numb out everything she was experiencing right now. Both physically and mentally. But this was not the time and place to be thinking that way because she needed to keep going for Derek's but also her sake because if she didn't, there was a great chance they wouldn't survive. So she kept her pace, hoping that this nightmare would be over very soon and they would both be okay, as far as they can be at least, because even if they did survive, Derek is in a really bad shape and she knew that even if she got him to the hospital (in time) it would still be touch-and-go with a fever that high.

A few miles back, Derek was slowly starting to regain consciousness…

''Mmmm'' He mumbled, obviously groggily.

He was shaking his head a bit to make most of the fuss go away and the rain was a great help in that. But when most of the fuss was away, his nerve system woke up and Derek let out another heartbreaking scream that would normally be heard miles if it wasn't for the storm that muffled most of his scream.

''Aaaahhh'' He screamed again and rolled on the ground with all the strength he had left.

But eventually, when he was laying on his back, his brain finally connected to his nerve system and he knew where that excruciating amount of pain was coming from and he grabbed his right arm instantly to hold it firmly at his chest. He cried out in pain again and knew that it wasn't good.

''Oh Godd'' He slurred.

He tried to lift his head a bit to see how his arm looked, but he just couldn't. He was just too tired and his wet clothes didn't make it any easier for him. He thought about how long he could've been lying there and knew it must be long since his clothes were soaked through. He raked his brain for a few minutes, debating whether he should go and try to get inside or just lie there. He weighed both options and decided that he should at least try to get inside because lying outside would do more harm than good. But on the other side, it would be more comfortable to remain outside because his fever was so high that he actually didn't even want to think about dragging himself inside but he knew that it was better for him to get inside. He had promised Meredith that he would do everything to stay alive and he would keep his promise.

''Ahhh'' he slurred when he was trying to move. But it didn't got him to move an inch.

''Noooooo'' He sobbed and tears formed in his eyes. But he didn't want to cry, he needed to stay strong for Meredith and for himself if they wanted to get out of here alive. HE needed to be the one to comfort Meredith and soothe her if needed to. But he couldn't, and now she was trying to get help, all alone and anything could happen. She could get hurt and not being able to walk any further or she could….

''NOOOOO'' He screamed, and he willed his body to move.

His body was now running on adrenaline and because of that, he was able to move a bit. Just far enough to get inside and not being soaked by the rain again.

''Ahhh finaaaally'' He slurred.

Now being inside he tried to get his body to sit up a bit so he could take a better look at his arm. So he let the small rock inside take a bit of his weight and he sat up a bit. With care he laid his arm carefully on his chest again and he could take a look at his arm.

''Oh Goddd'' He gasped, a bit slurred. His arm stood at an awkward angle and when he tried to lift his injured arm with his good arm it hang loosely and he knew immediately that it needed to be set and that it was highly possible he needed surgery. He also knew that he needed to monitor his arm closely for any skin chance or lack of sensation because if he got any of those signs it meant that either his blood flow to his arm was not entirely intact anymore or a nerve in his arm was being compressed. And if that happened… ''No'' He said to himself out loud. He didn't want to think about what would happen if he got any of those signs and he would still be lying here. But he obviously knew what it would mean…

The end of his career as a world-renewed top neurosurgeon.

But he couldn't let that happen so he decided that it was best to set his arm right here right now so that the chance of complications would be minimal. But he also knew that there were a few risks if he was going to set his arm here because there aren't any medical supplies here and you actually need another set of hands to do it. Let alone proper pain medication….

But he set all those thoughts of something maybe going wrong out of his head and decided all together that it really was wise to set it now because he didn't know when help was coming and every hour he left it untreated the chances of having permanent damage to his arm grew bigger. So he looked around to see for anything that could help set his arm. But he saw nothing. Nothing that could even block out his pain. But he knew that his high fever did most of the work as he became a bit lightheaded over the past half hour. And adrenaline was also still coursing through his body. But he knew that aside all of that, he would still feel an incredibly amount of pain that would most likely knock him unconscious again.

He shifted a bit so he sat now fully upright and he let go of the safe security that his good arm provided for his injured one. He grunted a bit when he did so. He took a few minutes to get his breath back and he stretched his injured arm in front of him as far as he could and with his left hand he took a hold of his right. He took a few large breaths and said: ''Here we go''

And with great force he pulled as hard as he could and you could hear the sickening crushing of the bones and he let out the most heartbreaking and strong scream that would tore every individual apart. And with that, he met blackness once again.

Meredith was about half way when she heard a loud scream. And she quickly thought of Derek. She turned her head around and screamed: ''DEREK!'' But when she did so, she lost her balance and slipped.

She tried to grab onto something, a twig maybe, but nothing could stop her from slipping. She fell on her back and slid down the mud.

''NOOOOO'' She screamed. She tried to grab onto something, anything, but it all went so quickly that she couldn't do anything about it.

Twigs and mud appeared quickly in front of her face and she put her hands on her face. She closed her eyes and thought of Derek. What would've happened to him and if he was still alive by now. But she didn't got any more time to think about that when she got to a stop against what she could feel, a large hard object and she let out a scream of pain when her leg collided with it and blackness came quickly after that….


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 6! It took some more time to write this chapter because of 2 beautiful, warm summer days and spending those rare days in front of the computer typing wasn't very attractive. But because of the little delay, I made this chapter a bit longer! So hope you will like it, but I think most of you do ;) _

_So read and find out…. and….. REVIEW! Reviews make me very happy and will encourage me to update faster! So please, leave a review after you've read this chapter!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 6: Putting thoughts to action**

_Twigs and mud appeared quickly in front of her face and she put her hands on her face. She closed her eyes and thought of Derek. What would've happened to him and if he was still alive by now. But she didn't got any more time to think about that when she got to a stop against what she could feel, a large hard object and she let out a scream of pain when her leg collided with it and blackness came quickly after that…._

''Cristina!'' Owen shouted from across the room. They were working on a car crash victim with severe internal injuries and it was a miracle that the guy was still alive. They knew he most likely wouldn't pull through his first surgery but they did everything they could. For him, but also for his family, who were waiting anxiously for any news on his condition in the waiting room area.

''Here'' and she handed him the peddles.

''Charge to 180''Owen shouted. ''Clear!''And the electric shock sent the man's body flying a bit. But there was no response….

''Charge to 360…Clear!'' But there was still no response…

''Again, charge to 3-'' Owen was trying to say, but got interrupted by Cristina. ''Let him go. He's been through enough already. Saving his lives won't do anything good for him or his family''

''What!'' Owen said incredulous. But was silent when he saw Cristina's face.

''Please Owen'' She pleaded. '' Let him go''

He took one more look at Cristina and then stared at the monitor that still displayed a complete flat line. He knew that this guy was a loss from the beginning, but he has always had a hard time letting a patient go. For him, it sometimes felt like a failure. That he didn't do everything in his power to save the patient's life. But he knew that he did and Cristina always reminded him by saying: 'You did everything you could, but he was just a total mess'.

He sighed and stared at the monitor again for a few more seconds and eventually said. ''He's gone people'' And with that, everyone in the room, except for Cristina and Owen began moving to disconnect monitors and preparing the body for the family to see.

Owen kept his gaze at Cristina and saw something in her eyes that didn't match. He was trying to remember how she was acting this morning but he couldn't recall any difference in Cristina's behavior. But he did notice that her strange behavior began after she got out of the locker room. And when they were waiting for the car crash victim to arrive he asked what was going on, but got an annoying grunt as response. And after that 'answer' he thought it was better to leave her alone for a little while. But now, he was getting worried. Because she wasn't just acting weird, she wasn't focusing on the patient AT ALL. And if she had just had a bad day, she would still be focusing on the patient and thinking about the best treatment. So he thought there must be something really wrong.

''Cristina, everything okay?'' He said. He obviously knew everything wasn't okay and he also knew that her answer would probably be: 'Yeah, I'm fine'' Just like Meredith would always say when something obviously WASN'T okay or fine.

''Yeah, I'm fine'' Cristina said bluntly.

''No Cristina, you're not fine!'' He said, with a slightly raised voice ''I know you've been acting weird since you came out of the locker room and that you've been unable to focus on anything. And I also know that that isn't you. I don't know what's going on but you need to get it together Cristina!''

He was regretting his sudden reaction already and knew that he'd most likely turned it worse now. But he couldn't take his words back and knew that he would've to wait for her shouting.

''NO Owen!'' She shouted. ''You don't get to say what I need to do or what not. And you sure as hell don't get to shout at me!''

''I wasn't tryi-''

''NO!'' Cristina shouted again. ''You don't know what I feel right now! You don't know how guilty-'' But she couldn't finish her sentence when she suddenly burst out in tears.

Owen was completely taken aback by her sudden emotional change that he didn't know what to do. He NEVER, EVER saw Cristina Yang crying and knew instantly that this was bad. Really bad…

''Cristina, what are you talking about'' Owen said. ''Why do you feel guilty? and what the hell is going on for God's sake'' He was trying so hard to figure it out but he was at a loss of words.

''I thi-nk'' Cristina sobbed '' I thin-k something has happened to Mer''

''What!'' Owen said surprised. He certainly hadn't expected this answer. And he surely didn't know what to say to this. So he opted to just listen to her and figure out what was going on.

''She ha-d the day off yesterday and we-nt with McDreamy to the trailer for som-e time alone and and an-'' But Owen interrupted her quickly and grabbed her lightly by her shoulders.

''Calm down Cristina'' He said in a calm and soft voice. ''take some deep breaths, okay. Can you do that for me? In and out.. In and out''. And after a few second she calmed down enough to continue her story without glitches.

''And it was around 3AM when she called me but I had had a bad day and hearing all the background noises I just assumed that they were doing what they are always doing so I got annoyed and hung up. But I didn't actually realize why she would call me and what she was trying to say until I got in for work today and didn't see her in the locker room and Derek wasn't anywhere either. And I just have this weird feeling that something's not right''

''Hey,hey'' He tried to soothe her and stroked her face lightly. ''Don't jump to conclusions just yet, okay? The hospital probably got a call from them that maybe they are delayed or they called in sick. Which wouldn't be so strange since Derek was sick last week. And it's possible that he got her infected too since he isn't all the way back yet. So don't worry okay. And if they still aren't here in about an hour you could try her cell. But if they're sick or if they've overslept, it's better not to disturb them now, okay?'' Owen was obviously trying to soothe Cristina, but deep down ,he knew that they never slept through their alarms, and on the rare occasion that they did. Meredith always made sure to call Cristina. Even when she was sick. So even he got a bit worried, but he tried his hardest not to show that to Cristina.

She sniffled a bit and said: ''But even when she slept through her alarm or when she's sick she always calls me. I'm her person and I know how she looked liked when she left yesterday morning and she sure as hell didn't look sick. Neither did he. And I just have this feeling Owen. And it isn't going away before I've figured out what's going on''

He thought hard to come up with a correct answer but couldn't really find one so he just added: ''Okay, call her now'' But he saw that Cristina looked at him like he had grown two heads. But he knew that she needed to call her person if she was going to function today.

''Wha..t'' She said, almost whispering.

''Call Meredith'' He said again with a low, soft voice.

Cristina hesitated for a few seconds before grabbing her cell phone out of her pocket and dialing her person's number.

….. she was clutching her phone harder by the minute. But no one was picking up. And after 3 minutes just holding the phone to her ear, she hang up. And you could see complete worry etched on Cristina's face. And Owen knew from that moment that this was serious.

''She's not picking up!'' Cristina said panicked! ''I really think something's wrong Owen! We need to go and drive to the trailer and see for ourselves!''

''Wait, wait, Cristina… calm down'' He said. ''You will be of no use if you're all panicked, okay. And there's still no reason for thinking the worst. We should go to the Chief and ask if perhaps they called in sick before we worry, okay?''

But he got no answer back when Cristina was already running though the halls to the Chief's office. But when she rounded the corner to his office she bumped right into him. ''Chief!'' She said, almost screaming. ''Have you gotten any word from Meredith or Derek?'' She said in her most calmest and polite voice she could manage at the moment. But it still made Richard frown. ''What- No, no I haven't'' And he could immediately see the intense worry and stress in Yang's face. ''Yang, what's going on?''

And before Owen could stop her from overreacting she blurted everything out. ''Meredith isn't here Chief Webber and I'm really worried something may have happened to her or Derek or both. And, and I don't know but I tried her cell a few minutes ago but she didn't pick up and she always picks up you know and I really, really have this feeling in my stomach and and-'' But Richard cut her off. ''Cristina, first, can you tell me how long she's been missing?''

''I don't know Chief Webber but I do know that she tried to call me yesterday but I was in a really bad mood and didn't listen to what she had to say but I do remember that she sounded not like Mer and that she was panicked and out of breath and- OH GOD!'' She suddenly remembered the last minute of their conversation. '' Oh no! She-she… she screamed Derek and I heard- I heard'' She was on the verge of crying again. ''Him making a strange noise and I heard something in the background. I think- I think it was rain and wind and- Oh no, no no..''

''Cristina!'' Richard and Owen said simultaneously. They kept acting like nothing was going on but they knew that this wasn't good, not good at all. ''Calm down. Are you sure that is what you heard?'' Richard said cautiously and worried. Because Meredith was after all close to his heart and he couldn't bear if something happened to her.

''Yes, of course, why wouldn't I be Chief! It's my person we're talking about and I sure as hell know when something's not right, and it has been raining heavily since early yesterday afternoon so what if they went out for a hike or something and… '' She said worried and angrily at the same time that the Chief didn't seem to notice her seriousness.

''Okay'' Richard said ''You two are allowed to go and see if they're still at the trailer and if they aren't we will send out a search and rescue team immediately''

With that, Cristina and Owen nodded and sprinted off to get Owens's car.

When they were driving to the trailer Cristina was sure that they would get at least 2 speeding tickets. But she didn't care. All she cared about was the fact that Meredith could be in danger. And she felt a bit guilty that she didn't really care about Derek's sake. But she reminded herself that he let her person down when she needed him and that he was always the reason for dark and twisty Meredith. But still… if something should happen to Derek, her person would be falling into pieces and that wasn't something she could fix easily.

Cristina got pulled out of her thoughts when Owen turned off the car and she noticed that they had already arrived at the trailer. So she quickly got out of the car and sprinted to the trailer. She tried to open the door but it was locked. Panic grew inside her and she shouted: ''MER!... MER! Are you in here?'' But she was met with silence.

Owen quickly followed and looked inside the trailer but no one was in there. They looked at each other for a brief moment and knew instantly what this meant. So Owen grabbed his cell phone out of his jacket and dialed Richard's cell. He picked up at the second ring.

''Richard!'' Owen half shouted. ''Send out a search and rescue team NOW!


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 7! It took some more days to start writing due to 'De Kermis' :p But here it is and hope you like it! I keep things slowly, so that means that the story isn't in a hurry but everything is written out. You can say that this chapter is kind of like another filling chapter but the next will be action, I promise you guys that! ;)_

_Before you read it I want to say that I hope that everyone reviews and that the people who put my story on story alert will also review. Because that will make me very happy and will encourage me to update sooner! _

_So much love to all my readers and hope you will like it! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 7: Promises**

_''Richard!'' Owen half shouted. ''Send out a search and rescue team NOW! _

Mark Sloan just started his shift when he got heard of staff members potentially missing. But he didn't really pay attention to it as he had an awesome surgery at 8:00 PM. Before he went to scrub in he wanted to talk to Derek about some papers he had to sign off. But when he tried to enter his office, he noticed that it was locked. This set a frown on his face but still didn't thought through. He shrugged and walked away to scrub in, but when he rounded the corner he bumped into Richard.

''Oh'' Mark said. ''Sorry Chief, didn't see you''

''It's okay'' Richard said a bit off. He just called in a search and rescue team to try and locate where Derek and Meredith were. He got quite worried when Owen called him in panic and his head wasn't on making small-talk with his staff in the midst of it all.

''Everything alright Chief?'' Mark said. He knew that his behavior was because of missing staff members but still, the Chief was always the calm one and acting like nothing was going on, even in stress full situations like this.

''Of course '' He said, trying to sound confident. But after taking in Sloan's features he knew that he didn't believe him. So he did what he thought was best and said: ''There's actually a situation going on and I'm sure you've heard something about it.''

Sloan just nodded . He was eager to hear who those staff members were and in what kind of situation they were in.

''But I can't tell you more than I know as there isn't any word of where they are in what for state they are in. And if they even are in danger. That we still don't know'' Richard said in a strict and serious tone.

''But you called a search and rescue team in right? Then you must know it's serious'' Mark said back. Still not getting it all the way.

''That's right , we don't know for sure that they are actually in danger. But what we do know is that the signs are alarming. And we haven't been able to contact either of them and as Cristina said, that isn't something for her. So we are on high alert and we will page you when we have more information, okay?''

''Chief'' Sloan was still trying to connect all the dots but panic was slowly starting to take over his body. ''Who…who are we talking about? Which staff members are reported missing? He said but had difficulties swallowing past the lump in his throat.

Shock was evident on the Chief his face when he heard that Mark Sloan didn't know about which staff members this was about. He tried to think how he was going to say this the right way and not bring too much panic but he didn't had much time to think when Sloan now shouted: ''Who Chief!''

''It's Derek and Meredith''

When he heard those four words coming out of the Chief's mouth he felt like he had been thrown out of a riding car. His thoughts seemed to stop and he couldn't say anything. He just stood there staring straight ahead.

''?'' Richard said after a few seconds of staring straight back at Mark and seeing that he was completely of the world.

''I'm going'' He said immediately.

''No'' Richard said. ''You're too emotionally involved and we need you here. Cristina and Owen are at their trailer as we speak and I already sent a team with helicopter assistance as we have the understanding that they are in the woods s-'' But Richard didn't got the chance to finish his sentence as Mark quickly sprinted away to get his car.

''Aaahhh'' Meredith slurred. Still trying to fully regain consciousness. ''Ahhh'' She said again but now with more strength in her voice. She was looking around a bit when her eye fell on her foot. ''Oh my God'' She said panicked when she saw that her foot was stuck. She tried to pull it back a bit but was met with a wave of pain and nausea. ''Aaaahhh'' She said weakly. And within seconds she vomited, but was quickly enough to turn her head so she would prevent vomiting all over her lap.

When she stopped heaving she closed her eyes. She was so tired and closing her eyes seemed the best option for now. She could block out the world and dream…. dream about not being in this situation and lying in bed with Derek peacefully. But when the word Derek past her thoughts she quickly jolted awake and the last few minutes before passing out came to her mind.

''Oh no, no, no…. DEREK!''

''Mmmmmm'' He mumbled. He pinched the bridge of his noise, his eyes still closed. ''Whas…whats'' He tried to say but it came out slurred. His fever got so high that his mind didn't register things anymore and he instinctively tried to get his body into a sitting position with his right arm.

''AAAAAAAAHHHHH'' He screamed when a shot of pain ran through his right arm. He clutched his arm against his chest again and he also remembered what happened before he passed out and he immediately took a look at his arm again but breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it still stood straight.

He knew that he couldn't go anywhere so he tried to stay as calm as possible, hoping for help. He grabbed Meredith's bottle of water and took some sips. He did everything he could to survive but he knew in what kind of shape he was and that the battle was hard. But he tried, for him, but most of all for Meredith.

''Meredith….'' He slurred. And with that, he fell out of consciousness again.

It was around 9:30 PM when Mark arrived at his best friend's trailer. He hadn't been here before but knew that it was Derek's sanctuary. A place where he could escape from everything going on in his life. But know, this place felt wrong, almost like a horror scene. There was an ambulance on scene and a helicopter flying above the area. He saw Cristina and Owen talking to some men with climbing equipment and it was still raining like hell. It still didn't sink in, the idea of his best friend and Meredith missing and possibly hurt. He shook his head lightly and walked towards Owen and Cristina.

'', '' He said and give them both a quick understanding nod.

'''' Owen said back. ''I'm sorry about this whole situation, I know Derek's your best friend and we're going to do everything in our power to save them both''

''I know you will . But I'd like to go with you''

''No'' Owen said fiercely. ''You need to go back to the hospital. We have men with us who are trained to do this and under normal circumstances I'd say it's safe to go. But as you can see , the weather is as bad as it can be and the area isn't safe now. Do you understand?''

''But-''

'''' Owen said calmly. ''just go back to the hospital. We will inform you about the progress, okay?''

He pondered this for a while and nodded. ''Okay, I will. But keep me informed, okay?''

''Will do'' Owen said back. And he turned his back to discuss with the search and rescue team how to proceed.

Owen and Cristina got into protective gear and followed them into the woods.

When Mark saw that they got out of sight. He looked around and saw the paramedic talking to his partner. The people from search and rescue set up some sort of tent and went in. Nobody seemed to notice him standing there. And then he got an idea….

A small smile crept on his face and he looked around one more time before slowly walking back around the trailer. He saw that he needed to walk about two miles before he would enter the woods. But knowing that everyone was inside he knew that nobody would see him walking towards the woods.

So he took the chance and walked slowly towards the woods. He just couldn't stand there and do nothing. He promised himself that he would always look out for his brother. And that was what he was going to do….


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: _

_So, here's chapter 8! It's longer than usual because first I had the intention to put the last part of this chapter in the next but then this chapter would be too short. So I put it in this chapter! So there will happen a lot and I hope you like it! _

_Hope I get lots of reviews from you guys! So please REVIEW after you've read this chapter! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 8: Time's not at your side**

_So he took the chance and walked slowly towards the woods. He just couldn't stand there and do nothing. He promised himself that he would always look out for his brother. And that was what he was going to do…._

''Keep moving!'' One of the men on their team said. He took quite the pace, knowing that in this kind of situations the difference between life and death was whether they got to them in time. But the weather didn't make it any easier on them as it was still raining heavily. But luckily for them, time did also have a good side as the weather wasn't as bad as before. The clouds were beginning to clear up and the wind took some force down, making it easier for the team to find them.

But after 2 hours of walking they still didn't find them and Cristina was beginning to get impatient.

''Where can they possibly be?'' She shouted out of frustration. And one of the men on their team answered immediately and said: '', as you know, we're looking at a large area and the storm didn't make it any easier. Trees could have been broken and lying on pathways as we speak, making it harder to find clear entries. But we're doing everything we can ma'am''

Cristina didn't say anything in return, instead she shouted: ''Mer!, Mer!, can you hear me, Mer!''

But she didn't get an answer. And Owen looked helpless. But knew that his friends still had a good chance of coming out of this alive. And he also knew that the woods were big and that they must have gotten far so if they just kept walking fast they would hopefully find them within the next 2 hours.

Mark wasn't even very far into the woods and he was already covered in mud. He knew that that was because he didn't follow an actual path but just went off route, realizing that that was much quicker and that if Meredith and Derek didn't take the actual path too due to the storm it may lead him to them.

So with that, he kept going, with a small smile on his face, knowing that he might have taken a good choice….

''Cristina'' Owen said, carefully. ''What are you doing?'' He saw that she was fidgeting with her keys and he was getting worried by her behavior.

''We're walking for 2 and a half hours already and we still haven't found them. Aren't you the least bit concerned?'' She asked, annoyed.

''I am Cristina, but we haven't searched the whole woods yet, it's highly possible they have gotten further into it''

''Well…. I'm not waiting anymore Owen, I.. I can't just wait and do nothing while Mer-'' But she got interrupted by Owen.

''We're not doing nothing Cristina, we're going to find them okay, and they're gonna be. That's all you have to think about for now'' He said, determined to not let Cristina fall apart.

''Hahh'' She half mumbled half laughed. But Owen just let it be. She was angry and frustrated by her person's situation and he got that.

But suddenly Cristina got an idea, and idea, and idea that could work if either one of them was still conscious.

''Owen'' Cristina said. ''Do you still have that noisy, crazy ass ringtone on your phone?''

''Why?'' Owen asked incredulous as to why she asked for a specific ringtone in the middle of a life saving operation.

She took that as a yes and said immediately: ''Just give me your phone, okay?'' And she help up her hand for him to give it to her.

Owen gave her a confused look but gave his phone quickly. Not wanting to get an angry Cristina for not giving up his phone right away.

''Thanks'' She said and she immediately began searching through his ringtone database until she found the one what she was looking for.

''Yes'' She said. And Owen shot up in surprise. She never says yes, he thought. But he let it be, wanting to focus only on his friends who were in real danger.

Cristina smiled like she had won the lottery. She knew that this could save her person and her person's boyfriend if she was lucky.

''Come on! Keep moving Docs! We don't wanna lose any more time!'' One of the mean on their team shouted again.

''Cristina'' And Owen grabbed her arm lightly. ''We need to keep moving''

But she took her arm out of his grasp and said: ''A few minutes, that's everything it takes, please Owen'' And she looked at him with her big brown eyes and he just couldn't say no anymore.

''Okay'' He said. And he screamed to the men on their team to stop moving for a few minutes.

''But what is that you want to do?'' He said quickly after that.

But Cristina didn't say anything in return , instead she pushed play, and a loud, piercing sound tore through the woods that anyone could hear within a 2 miles radius. And Owen and the rest of the team put their hands on their ears to muffle the sound, except for Cristina.

A few seconds had passed after she had put the phone on silent again when they heard some grunting coming from the woods and Cristina shot up immediately, alarming Owen.

''I heard something!'' She said with a big smile on her face. ''I couldn't identify if it was either Derek or Meredith but I'm sure it's one of them!''

''Hhmm…'' He mumbled, and said: ''Okay, play that ringtone again and we will see if we hear it again''

So with that, she pushed play again and after letting it 'play' for half a minute she heard the grunting again. ''See?'' She said, smiling widely. ''we've found them!

Owen smiled too and said: ''Good work Cristina''

The men on their team asked Cristina to play it every 5 minutes, to determine where the sound was coming from. So, after playing it for a few more times they got the impression where the sounds was coming from but it was still hard to find the exact location as the sound got weaker and weaker…

''Fuck!'' Mark growled as he stepped in a big splash of water. ''Now my socks are wet too! This day can't get any be-'' But he got interrupted by a high pitched sound coming from only a mile and his body was on full alert.

''Meredith!'' He screamed. And he heard the sound once again. This was definitely Meredith he thought and he headed towards the sound….

''We are close'' One of the men said when Cristina played the ringtone again.

''Is that a cave?'' Cristina said with a frown on her face. 'Why is there a freaking cave in the woods' she thought.

''Yes it is'' The man responded. ''I bet that they're in there''

They walked faster when the cave got more in sight and Cristina almost sprinted to it, desperate to see if her friends were in there and if they're hurt.

But when she got there, she suddenly couldn't move. She gasped and let out a sob.

When Owen and the rest of their team arrived they couldn't believe their eyes. ''Oh my God'' Owen gasped. ''What the hell, Shepherd!'' And he quickly got to his side and kneeled in front of him. ''Derek!'' Owen said panicked. He knew that this was bad, really bad. He shook his shoulders lightly to get him to wake up.

''Derek!'' He said again, and this time he opened his eyes a bit.

''Whhhhat…'' He slurred and he closed his eyes again.

''NO!'' Owen screamed at him. ''You stay awake! You stay awake Derek!''

''Mmmmm'' Derek mumbled. ''S'hot''

Owen immediately put the back of his hand on his forehead and cursed under his breath.

''Cristina!'' He screamed. ''Get over here'' And she got pulled out of her thoughts.

She kneeled beside Owen and looked in shock at Derek. He was as pale as someone can possibly be and his hear was sticking to his head as a result of the sweat, covering his whole body. And his breath came in short gasps. '

''Cristina!'' Owen screamed again. ''Focus. We need to get him out of here as soon as possible''

''But-''

''No buts Cristina! I know what you think, Meredith is not here, but that doesn't mean the worse, okay? She probably went out to get help or something. She could be okay Cristina. But we need all hands on deck for Derek, so I need your help''

''Ok..okay'' She said.

''Derek'' Owen said loud. ''Are you still with me here''

''Yessss'' He slurred. But he didn't open his eyes.

''Okay'' Owen said. He knew that he needed to get Derek out of here fast or…

''You and you'' Owen pointed at the two men in their team. ''Get someone to get the ambulance as close as possible. We don't have much time left'' And one of the men pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed for the ambulance. When he hung up he said: ''They can get here as close as 3 miles''

''Fuck'' Owen growled. He hoped to get Derek in an ambulance within the next half hour but that wasn't going to happen. He thought for a few seconds and said: ''Isn't there a place where the helicopter can land?'' He knew that that was almost impossible but Derek needed help fast, and he didn't know if Derek could be in this state another hour.

''No doc, I'm sorry'' One of the men said. He knew that this was a serious situation but a helicopter couldn't land in the woods.

''Wait'' The other men shouted. ''There's a dry lake almost a mile away from here. It has been dry over the last 50.000 years. I think it's big enough for the helicopter to land there''

Owen breathed a sigh of relief. ''Okay!'' He said. ''Let's inform the helicopter , it's our only chance''

With that, the men got on the phone and after a minute he said: ''It's on. The helicopter will be there in 5 minutes''

''Good'' Owen said, and he turned to Derek again. ''Derek, you will get out of here soon, the helicopter will be ready and you're gonna be okay.'' He knew that the last part of his sentence was a lie. The situation Derek was in was serious and even if he got help within the next half hour it would still be touch and go.

''Mmmm'' Derek mumbled again.

Owen gave Derek a quick pat on the shoulder and said to one of the men: ''Okay, give me the gurney please'' And he motioned for Cristina to get to Derek's shoulder.

''Derek, we're gonna move you onto the gurney, okay? Just don't move'' And Cristina grabbed his shoulder while Owen grabbed his feet and they quickly put him on the gurney.

''Okay'' Owen said again. And they each grabbed one side of the gurney and lifted it up. ''It will be okay Derek, really'' Owen looked into his eyes and saw fear, fear that he might not be able to make it out of this alive to see Meredith again. And with that thought, he closed his eyes again, hoping to see Meredith soon….


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 9! It's about as long as the previous one so you have a lot to read! I hope you didn't mind the short wait of 5 days. But I have to say that I will go on a little vacation Monday so there will be a little delay for chapter 10 but not longer than a week or so I think. _

_And I would like to say thank you so much for the reviews, I really appreciate them! I've got 38 reviews in total from you guys and that's just amazing. I hope when I end this story it will be around 100 but I can't do that without all of your help. I know that a lot of people who're reading my story don't always review and that's fine if you don't want it but it would mean a lot if you guys did. And for the ones who review, I would like to know from you guys what you like or don't like about a chapter or the story in general and if you have some additions or improvements you like to say or see happening. _

_And as last, I hope you will enjoy this chapter! Have fun reading it! _

_And afterwards please REVIEW! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 9: Keep your head in the game**

_''Okay'' Owen said again. And they each grabbed one side of the gurney and lifted it up. ''It will be okay Derek, really'' Owen looked into his eyes and saw fear, fear that he might not be able to make it out of this alive to see Meredith again. And with that thought, he closed his eyes again, hoping to see Meredith soon…._

''Are you still with us Derek?'' Owen asked nervously when he saw that Derek had closed his eyes again. It was essential for Derek to stay awake because it made his chance of survival much bigger.

''Mmmmm'' He mumbled.

''We're here docs!'' One of them men shouted to come above the sound of the helicopter.

''Good'' Owen said in general. The men went ahead of them to prepare the helicopter for Derek since it wasn't a medivac. And just when Owen and Cristina were about to get Derek in the helicopter he started seizing.

''Derek!'' Owen shouted, completely shocked to see a colleague, a good friend, in this situation. ''Cristina, get me the Lorazepam!'' He said.

Cristina quickly handed him the syringe with the Lorazepam. ''Here'' She said in a professional and utter calm voice. Owen stared at Cristina for a fraction of a second before giving Derek the shot in a vein in his neck , since the I.V wasn't in yet.

After a few seconds, Derek stopped seizing and he lay there on the gurney, motionless…

Owen took a deep breath and looked over at Cristina. He worried for her, and for her friend Meredith but there was nothing that they could do other than making some calls and sending another rescue team in to look for Meredith. But Derek was his priority now. And he needed Cristina to help.

''Cristina'' Owen said, trying get her full attention.

''What!'' She snapped.

''I know you're hurting'' Owen began. ''But we aren't helping Meredith by standing here and doing nothing. We will find Meredith, I'm sure of that. But Derek needs help, and I can't do it alone. I need your help Cristina. Please..'' He pleaded.

Cristina looked over at Derek and stared at him for a good few seconds. She knew that Meredith would want for Derek to be safe but she couldn't set herself to do anything. Every time she looked at Derek she saw the love for Meredith in his eyes and she couldn't, she just couldn't do anything when she saw that look. But…

''Derek needs to be transported NOW Cristina!'' Owen shouted. ''Are you in?''

''I..I.. yes'' She said.

''Okay, good'' Owen said and he turned to Derek again. His eyes were still closed and he looked like he was just asleep, but his pale form and the sweating indicated otherwise. Cristina went over to the other side of the gurney to lift it up and Owen said: ''Okay, on one…two…thr-''But when Owen got to three, Derek started seizing again.

''FUCK!'' Owen yelled. ''Cristina, the Lorazepam!''

Cristina was searching through her bag but her eyes went wide when she saw no Lorazepam ''Owen!'' She shouted. ''There's… there's.. no Lorazepam left''

''WHAT!'' Owen yelled. He looked in shock at Derek. His whole body trembled on the gurney and he saw a trail of blood leaving his mouth. 'Fuck he bit his tongue' Owen thought. He was starting to get panicked, he tried to think of another drug they could use to stop his attack but his mind couldn't focus.

''Uhmm… Cristina, what else do we have in there?''

Cristina ruffled through the bag and found one shot of Diazepam. ''Diazepam'' she said. ''I think that's our only shot''

''Okay, good!'' He said and Cristina handed him Diazepam. Owen inserted the needle in the same vein as before and pushed the medicine in as quickly as he could.

Derek stopped seizing a few seconds after the medicine was in but to everyone's surprise his eyes fluttered open immediately.

''Merrr'' He slurred with all his strength. ''Me..rr'' He tried again but air wasn't coming as quickly as he wanted and he started to gasp to compensate.

''Derek!'' Owen said loudly. He bend over to Derek and looked him straight in the eye. ''Derek, are you with us?''

His breathing made Owen worried and he pulled out a stethoscope to listen to his lungs. ''I'm gonna listen to your lungs Derek, try not to move okay? We will do all the work'' Cristina immediately held Derek up a bit for Owen to listen to his lungs. He placed his stethoscope over each lung and sighed when he was done.

He looked at Cristina with a pained face and then turned his attention to Derek again. ''Derek'' Owen said, his tone of voice full with sadness and worry for his friend. ''I've listened to your lungs and they don't sound good. It seems like you have double pneumonia'' Derek closed his eyes and panted. He was breathing through his mouth now instead of his nose, like he just couldn't get enough air that way anymore.

Owen was racking his brain. He knew that Derek didn't get enough air and that it would most likely worsen over the next couple of hours. But the helicopter wasn't a medivac so there wasn't any medical equipment on board to treat Derek right away. There wasn't a vent or a mask to help him breath. The only thing they had for Derek's airway was a nasal cannula. And that wasn't enough for his lung infection.

Derek was starting to get really tired and his head swam but he tried his best to keep his eyes open to ask the one thing he needed to know. ''where's…merr''

Cristina shot up immediately at Derek's question and looked over at Owen with tears pooling in her eyes. They locked eyes for a moment before Owen answered: ''Meredith is safe Derek'' He lied of course but he thought he had no other choice. If Derek knew she was missing he wouldn't cooperate and would most likely try to get of the gurney and walk. And that he didn't want to happen so he just simply lied. But he saw out of the corner of his eye Cristina standing shocked and pale, with her mouth wide open. But he just needed to do this for Derek, he needed to get to the hospital or he would die out here. 'That's why we're here'' He tried to plaster a smile but succeeded barely. Though his plan did succeed as a small smile was noticeable on Derek's face and he tried to manage to say: ''Goood'' And then he closed his eyes again and drifted away.

''We're taking off in 2 minutes!'' One of the men shouted.

Cristina nodded and together they shoved the gurney into the helicopter. Owen was about to step in when Cristina grabbed Owens' arm.

Owen turned around and sighed. ''Cristina, I know that th-''

''NO!'' Cristina yelled at him. ''I know you didn't mean it, like you don't mean anything else you say that hurts. But I'm done with this Owen! You-''

''Cristina!'' Owen yelled back ''I didn't want to lie but I had to, for Derek. You know like everyone else that Derek would have gotten up if he heard that Meredith was missing. I just couldn't risk him getting more hurt than he already is Cristina. He is already in a life-threatening condition and him telling about Meredith would sent him over the edge. I can't watch him killing himself''

Cristina was taken aback by Owen's sudden outrage. She knew that he was right but Meredith was her person and Owen saying that she's safe was just too much for her to bear. But she knew, she so knew that Owen was right, that Meredith would want Derek to be safe and that if he died she died. So she knew what she was going to do. She was going to make sure that Derek pulled through, for her and most importantly, for her person..

''Docs! we're taking off!'' One of the men shouted.

Cristina didn't want to show any more of her weakness to Owen so without saying a word to him in return she stepped onto the helicopter and Owen followed suit. One of the men on their team stepped in with them and the other closed the door to take a seat next to the pilot.

''Okay, ready for take off'' They heard the pilot say through their headphones.

And then they took off….

''Meredith!'' Mark yelled again. He tried to locate where the sound was coming from and he noticed that it wasn't very far.

''I'm here!'' Meredith yelled back. 'She knew that voice from somewhere' she thought.

''Meredith!'' He yelled again.

And suddenly it hit her. It was Mark. She breathed a sigh of relief when she knew it was something she knew. ''Mark!'' She yelled back to him. The sound was getting stronger any second and she knew that he was near.

Mark was running by now and the sound of Meredith's voice got louder whenever he screamed her name so he knew that he was close. He almost tripped over a fallen tree but continued running. He didn't know whether Meredith was hurt or not so he couldn't waste any time.

He screamed her name one more time before seeing a figure in the distance. He knew that must be Meredith so he ran towards the figure.

Meredith heard footsteps behind her so she turned her head around and saw Mark running towards her.

''Mark!'' Meredith said in excitement.

Mark heard the excitement in her voice and when he got to her he said: ''Hey Mer, I'm glad to see you too'' He said laughing.

''So..'' Mark began. ''What's the damage?'' He said with a smile on his face. Meredith looked fine other than the dirt covering her face and clothes. And he was kind of proud of himself that he was the one who had found Meredith. And his friendship with Derek would be a lot less hostile when he would find out that he was the one who saved his girlfriend.

''I'm stuck Mark'' She said flatly. And she pointed at her leg.

''Fuck'' was the only word coming out of his mouth. And he stared at her leg in shock. This was going to be a very long night and the night just started…


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 10! Hurray! :p _

_In the previous author's note I said that chapter 9 was the last before going on a little vacation but I made some time free to work on chapter 10 because I had a lot of inspiration the past few days and wouldn't want that to go to waste so here's chapter 10 already. _

_Hope you will all give me a (long) review! I would really appreciate that! _

_So enjoy reading and please REVIEW afterwards!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 10: Just keep on fighting**

_''Fuck'' was the only word coming out of his mouth. And he stared at her leg in shock. This was going to be a very long night and the night just started… _

''How long have you been stuck like this kiddo?'' Mark asked with a serious face, which was kind of strange since he was always the one who was in for a good joke and sarcasm but this wasn't the time or place to make jokes because Meredith was in big trouble and he needed to come up with a plan really fast.

''I don't know exactly but I think about 1 or 2 hours'' She responded.

Mark nodded. Then he kneeled next to her leg who was stuck and examined it closely, though he didn't touch the rock in case it could still move and worsen the situation.

''Meredith, can you wiggle your toes for me?'' He asked calmly.

She did as she was told and Mark smiled brightly when he indeed saw her wiggle her toes. ''Okay, that's good. Can you now look up to the sky for me?''

And Meredith nodded in understanding and Mark then carefully touched her ankle. ''Can you feel this?'' he asked.

''Yes'' she responded, and she now smiled too because she knew that no severely damage was done to her leg although it still hurt like hell, but she took that for granted since she was scared her leg was in pretty bad shape.

''Another good thing kiddo'' He said with excitement.

''But we still don't know if the bone is broken, though it's unlikely it's severely broken there can still be a nick in the bone. And I can see by looking at your face that your leg is hurting pretty badly'' He said with a tone of sadness in his voice.

''It is'' Meredith agreed.

Mark stared at Meredith and then back at her leg. He really didn't know what to do to free her leg but he was relieved that no nerve damage was done to her leg and that there wasn't a severely break either so that meant they had some time to come up with a plan.

''Meredith, how did you actually get in this situation?'' He asked.

But when that question was leaving Mark's mouth Meredith began to gasp and all her thoughts about Derek came flooding back.

''Meredith, what's wrong?'' Mark asked worried.

''N..nothing I'm fine'' She sobbed.

''Oh God'' He said back. Mark learned from Derek that when Meredith said she was fine she absolutely wasn't fine. ''Mer… come one you can tell me, no one else is here just the two of us''

But she made no attempt to speak at all so Mark just let it rest. It was none of his business after all. Though getting Meredith the hell out of here was his business and he was going to make sure that was going to happen. So he thought real hard. 'I can't lift the rock because it's too heavy and it may shift when I move it so that's not an option' he thought. 'Mmmm..'

But Mark got pulled out of his thoughts when Meredith suddenly cursed. He turned his head to look at her and saw where the cursing was coming from and he had to contain himself from laughing.

A small branch full of leaves lay on top of Meredith's head and she looked like how Derek used to look when he was younger and still had the afro.

''Don't even try to laugh Mark Sloan'' She said with a serious tone and Mark's smile faded immediately but not because of what Meredith said but because he got a plan. He looked around and his smile crept slowly back on his face.

''Mark… I'm warning you here'' She said back but he didn't stop smiling and she grabbed the branch with the leaves of her head and threw it at Mark's face.

''Hey!'' Mark said loudly. ''What the hell was that for?''

''For not listening to me'' She snapped back.

''Oh come on kiddo, cut me some slack here, I'm the guy who's gonna save you, you know'' He smiled his McSteamy smile at her and she rolled her eyes.

''Yeah right'' She said in response. ''And how exactly are you gonna do that because I am pretty sure you don't have a plan and I don't have all night you know''

''Oh see, there you are wrong kiddo'' He said and looked at her for her an answer.

Meredith raised her eyebrows suggestively and looked at Mark intently to see if he was joking but she noticed he wasn't and she said: ''Do you seriously have a plan, Mark?''

''Yes I do'' He said proudly. And Meredith waited for him to explain the plan but he didn't.

''Uhmm Mark, are you gonna explain it to me?'' She asked bluntly.

''Oh yeah!'' He said suddenly. ''Sorry. I was just thinking about how I'm gonna do it''

''Okay'' Meredith responded.

Mark looked up at the sky and around him and his eye finally caught what he was looking for and he smiled brightly. He walked to it and picked it up. He then tested it for its strength and bend it to see if it was not going to break easily. When he was content it was gonna hold he walked back and held the object up for Meredith to see it.

''A piece of a tree?'' She said back and she raised her eyebrows suggestively.

''Oh come on, don't judge it by its looks, he's gonna save your live!'' He said cheerfully.

''How Mark?'' She said bluntly. ''How can a piece of tree possible save my life?''

''Well…'' He began. ''He can when we use it the right way''

Meredith didn't say anything in return but just stared at him and Mark took that as a yes to go on.

''This piece of a tree can free your leg when we use it as a crowbar'' He said. ''Because the rock is too heavy to lift it on my own we are gonna use that piece of a tree''

''Mark'' Meredith said. ''You're a genius!''

''I know I am'' He said back sarcastically.

''Derek'' Owen said, trying to get his attention, which was getting harder any second since he was falling in and out of consciousness after they took off.

''Mmm'' He mumbled but it was almost a whisper.

'Fuck' Owen thought. Derek was getting worse any minute. It seemed like his temperature was still going up and his breathing was labored. They needed to do something now or he would slip into a coma before they even got him to the hospital.

''Cristina, we need to do something, now! Derek can't lay here any longer, we need to set up an I.V and give him oxygen. Do we have any of that with us?'' Owen said on high alert.

''Let me see'' She said and she zipped open the bag and looked for anything that could help them treat Derek. ''We have an I.V and a nasal cannula''

''Okay, that's what I already thought but it isn't enough god damn it''

Cristina looked sad and shocked at the same time. She didn't know Owen could be that explosive but knew Derek was his best friend and that he was in danger of his life at the moment.

''Derek'' Owen said. ''We're going to give you an I.V to hydrate you since we don't know if you've had access to water and your fever is running high so we need to get that under control. And your breathing is getting worse any minute Derek but we don't have good oxygen flow since this isn't a medivac and we haven't arrived at the hospital yet. But you just need to hang in there okay, can you do that for me?''

A short groan was his only response at Owen's explanation and he closed his eyes.

''No!'' Owen said immediately. ''You cannot go to sleep Derek. You need to stay awake. We don't have any monitors here to monitor you so you need to stay awake. It's just for another 5 minutes, then we're at the hospital okay?''

''Mmmm'' he mumbled, and that was probably the last response he would get from Derek, but he was okay with that since it was only 5 more minutes to the hospital.

So he grabbed the I.V and was about to put it in when he noticed Derek's swollen wrist.

''Cristina!'' He shouted. ''Look'' and he pointed at Derek's swollen wrist.

''Shit'' She said when she saw Derek's wrist. That didn't look good, at all. ''Definitely broken''

''Yeah'' Owen sighed. He really hurt for his friend. On top of everything else he also needs to deal with a severely broken wrist which most likely is in need for surgery.

''Oh God'' Cristina said, tears pooling in her eyes.

''What!'' Owen said alarmed. He saw the tears in Cristina's eyes and knew that a hell of a lot need to happen will you get Cristina crying so he was getting really worried.

''Look at his wrist. Do you see that? I think he set it himself'' She said sadly.

''Oh God'' Owen said, and his eyes were starting to get wet too but he wouldn't let that happen. He needed to be strong for Derek. A man shouldn't cry that easily he thought. But he couldn't seem to get rid of the few tears that were starting to threaten the dam that were his eyelids.

'Okay focus, Owen' he thought. And he moved to set up the I.V in his other arm which was fortunately unharmed.. He connected the cannula and asked the man on their team to hold the saline up. When that was done, he grabbed the nasal cannula and set it up. It was minimal oxygen he would receive but every bit helps and they would arrive at the hospital in about 3 minutes.

''Cristina, can I have my phone back? I need to phone Richard'' He said.

Cristina grabbed his cell phone and gave it to him. Owen quickly dialed Richard's number and he picked up immediately.

''Richard'' Owen said. ''We're there in about 3 minutes. But you need to prep a trauma room and meet us at the roof. Derek is in serious condition and he need oxygen immediately. He has double pneumonia and a high fever which I doubt is from the pneumonia itself since he's had a fever that high last week and I think it may be more than just the flu Richard. So we need all the hands we can get.

''Derek will get the best care possible'' Richard said in a steady voice. ''How's Meredith?''

There was a long silence before Owen answered: ''Richard…. we haven't found Meredith yet''

''YOU WHAT!'' Richard practically yelled trough the phone.

''Meredith wasn't there when we found Derek, I assume she went out to get help since we found Derek hurt but we don't know when she left exactly so we don't know if she's lost or hurt or just on her way'' Owen said, his voice laced with sadness and worry.

Richard heard the way Owen spoke and calmed himself down immediately. He shouldn't be angry at Owen for not finding Meredith.

''Okay, we will send another rescue team out there immediately'' Richard spoke.

''Meredith will be found Chief'' Owen added. And then he hung up.

''We will ground in 2 minutes'' The pilot spoke.


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 11! _

_I made you guys wait for some time but here it finally is! Hope you will enjoy reading it and let me know what you all thought about it. _

_Ohh.. and there may be some grammar faults in this chapter so I would really appreciate it if you guys would mention the faults since I will definitely learn from them. _

_Have fun reading it and please leave me a REVIEW afterwards! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 11: Finally **

_''We will ground in 2 minutes'' The pilot spoke. _

''Okay people, listen up!'' Richard spoke. ''In just a few minutes one of our own will be brought in and I can tell you that his situation is pretty serious, so we need all hands on deck'' He spoke with caution and calmness to not cause any panic among his staff. ''But don't forget that we have other patients to get to so let's do our jobs people''

And with that, the people in the room left to do their jobs but Bailey was just standing there, in the middle of the room, facing the ground.

'''' Richard said calmy. He hadn't told that Derek was the one who was gonna be brought in but was and somehow she always knew when something was wrong. ''Is there something I can do for you?'' he asked, not really knowing what to say in such a situation.

''Chief, who is it?'' Bailey asked with a hushed voice. Her face displaying all kinds of sadness. Sadness she never showed in public and most certainly didn't want to show to anyone, but know.. she had no choice than to just give in.

He sighed and then said: ''''

''How bad?'' She asked immediately after Richard had answered her.

''Bad'' was the only answer Richard could give her. And honestly, he didn't know much about Derek's condition himself, he only knew that he was slipping in and out of consciousness and that his breathing was not good. He didn't ask for details, he just hung up and prepped the trauma room right after. He didn't want to think about how bad it was or that Meredith wasn't found yet. He needed to focus and act calm.

''Mm'' Bailey mumbled and nodded slightly. 'Focus Bailey, you can do this, don't panic' she said to her inner self. And suddenly she thought about her intern. Her annoying, but friendly intern whom she secretly liked.

''And Meredith, Chief?'' She knew that her intern was always with Derek so it most likely wouldn't be different this time around.

When that particular name came rolling out of 's mouth he tensed up immediately and Bailey could sense something was wrong with Meredith too.

''Chief?'' Bailey spoke. ''What's wrong with Meredith, is she hurt too?'' her eyes got wide when she thought of that.

''We don't know'' He spoke chiefly again, not wanting to show his emotions either. ''Meredith hasn't been found yet, so we don't know if she's hurt or not but I spoke to Owen on the phone just minutes ago and he said that it's possible that Meredith went out to get some help''

But when exactly were they reported missing, Chief? Cause nobody seemed to bother to tell me anything about this and I have every right to know'' She was on full Bailey mode again after hearing that her intern probably went out to get help and she knew Meredith was smart enough to get out of this situation. After all, she cheated death once and kept standing her ground when so much was thrown in her direction. So she had all faith that her intern would return safely.

''About 4 hours ago but we didn't want to cause any panic since it was just an assumption at that time and we didn't know what their location was and if they were hurt. So we wanted to keep it quiet till we made sure it was serious''

Bailey just nodded. He knew Richard was right and that he acted the right way. But she was still and everyone always made sure to tell .

''We should go to the roof'' she said. ''Is the trauma room prepped?''

''Yes and yes'' Richard replied.

''Good'' she replied back and then they left the room to go up to the roof to wait for Derek's arrival.

''Okay, hold on tight Meredith, it's gonna hurt'' Mark said. He was placing the piece of tree under a small space underneath the rock which would probably give enough force to lift the rock off of Meredith's foot.

Meredith knew that this was gonna hurt but there was no way she could prepare for it so she just closed her eyes and waited for the pain to come.

''Okay, here it comes Mer'' And he counted till 3 in his head and then pressed with as much force as he could down onto the tree and the rock moved slowly but surely.

''Aaarg'' Mark groaned. It was really hard but knew that if he went on for some more seconds it would work and Meredith's leg would be free so he pressed harder and harder and then..

''Aaaahhh'' Meredith yelled in pain when the rock rolled off her foot and it suddenly had no pressure on it anymore.

''YESSS!'' Mark yelled, the complete opposite of what Meredith was feeling. ''We did it kiddo'' and he winked at her. But then he saw the pain written across her face and he knelt beside her leg to take a close look at it.

''Does it hurt that much kiddo?'' He asked sadly.

''Mmm'' Was the only thing Meredith could say, along with a firm nod.

''Okay, I'm gonna touch it again Mer. Tell me when the pain is unbearable'' He said and moved his hand to Meredith's shin. He gently laid it on top of it and looked at her face immediately to check for any signs of pain but when he saw none he pushed on the small cut in the middle of her shin. He knew that this would probably be the source of her pain along with a probable fracture underneath it.

''Aaaaaahhhh'' She screamed out again and Mark immediately pulled his hand back.

''That's what I already thought kiddo'' He said. ''I think you have a fracture underneath that cut. But I think it's not too severe, probably just hair lined. All by all it seems you've been pretty lucky!''

''Yeahh'' Meredith said quietly.

Mark was lost in his thought for a moment and then suddenly noticed that Derek wasn't with Meredith. He knew that they were both reported missing but he didn't see Derek and Meredith hasn't talked about him. Oh God, how could he be this stupid to not think about his brother!

And then he could suddenly connect all the dots. Meredith's foot was stuck, and when he asked how she got in this position she completely tensed up and couldn't say anything other than 'I'm fine' which he knew was bad, really bad.

''Mer…'' Mark asked quietly. ''It's Derek isn't it?''

''What'' She said confused, just pulled out of her thoughts.

''Derek'' He said again. ''He's hurt isn't he?''

It was silent for a few seconds before the sobs of Meredith filled that silence.

''Oh, come here kiddo'' He said, and went over to Meredith to pull her into a sitting hug, being very careful for her leg.

''He's he's.. really sick Mark, and.. he's there all alone and I don't know… He.. he screamed and I, I got distracted and slipped and that's how I got stuck'' She spoke. ''I mean.. I don't know how's he doing or if he's still alive and-''

''Ssshh'' Mark shushed and began stroking her hair. ''It's alright, he's Derek. You know him, and he wouldn't go down without a fight, you know that. He will do everything to stay with you.''

Meredith calmed down a bit and her sobbing stopped. She was really comforted by Mark's words and knew he meant every word of what he had said and that was just really… touching. It was Mark after all and he rarely showed his softer side. But she was glad he did.

''Mark?'' Meredith asked.

''Mmmm'' He mumbled.

''Go and find Derek'' She said suddenly.

''What?'' Mark asked, shocked at Meredith's request.

''Find Derek and make sure he gets to a hospital because he doesn't have much time left''

''But-''

''Please Mark.'' She said. ''He's like your brother, you grew up with him, please find him and take him to the hospital before it's too late''

Meredith's tears came pooling back in her eyes and Mark couldn't do anything than to just give in.

''Okay'' He said. ''I will find him as soon as you're safe and in an ambulance''

''No'' She began. ''Please Mark, you got to find him before it's too late''

Mark thought about that for a while and then got an idea: ''Listen Mer, when I heard about you and Derek missing I got in my car and drove to here immediately. When I got there I saw a helicopter and 2 ambulances. I also saw and with a few men of the Rescue team. They were about to go into the forest and I asked them if I could join them, but I couldn't. So when they got out of sight I went for the other direction and that's what brought me to you. And the lucky part is that it didn't take me long before I found you so we're close by. The only problem is is that I left my cell phone in my locker so what we're gonna do is, I'm going to get help and get you in an ambulance as soon as possible and then I will find Derek Mer, I promise''

Meredith thought about this for a few seconds and then agreed. ''Okay''

''I don't know if Yang or Hunt have already found Derek since I don't know what time it is but I will check'' Mark said.

''You can find him in some sort of cave we went to hide in when the storm set up. But you gotta hurry Mark'' She said worried.

''I will'' Mark said. ''Stay put Meredith, don't move, okay? I will go and find help now. I will be back in about half an hour''

''Okay'' Meredith said. And Mark nodded in return before sprinting off to get help…

''Derek! Stay with me man'' Owen spoke loudly.

Derek was getting worse any second by now but luckily he already saw Richard and Bailey standing on the roof with the Head Nurse and a gurney, waiting for Derek to use.

The door slid open and Owen immediately spoke before the others could say anything.

''Derek Shepherd, 34 years old male with a dangerously high fever, coupled with double pneumonia and a severely broken wrist. Respiratory system is falling. Needing oxygen immediately.''

Richard and stared in shock at Derek. He was incredibly pale and sweat drops were falling of his face. ''Okay, give him 5 liters by mask, now!'' Richard ordered.

Head Nurse Katy removed his nasal cannula and grabbed the oxygen mask to put it over his face. ''All done'' She said.

''Okay'' Richard said. He moved over to Derek and looked him in the eye. ''Derek!'' he said loudly. ''Derek, can you hear me?''

But Derek didn't look back, instead he closed his eyes and let out a small groan in response.

''Okay, let's get him inside now!'' Richard yelled.

'''' Richard spoke. ''Good job'' he said, and patted him on the shoulder. ''I know it's hard to see a friend in this position but he will pull through, I'm sure of that.''

''I know Chief, it's just that-'' but suddenly they got interrupted by a cell phone ringing.

''The Chief'' Richard said professionally.

''Chief, Rob Belsey here, I'm one of the paramedics on scene and I just spoke to a man called who claimed he found Meredith Grey.''

Richard was shocked. ''Uhmm.. that's… that's great news. Thank you . I will contact immediately''

''He says he has no phone Chief'' said.

''Uhm.. okay, can I call back to this number?'' He asked.

''Yes Chief'' said.

''Okay, thank you'' He said, and then hung up.

''They found Meredith!'' Richard said relieved.


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 12!_

_It's a what longer chapter this time but it has a reason unfortunately… The reason that this chapter is a bit longer is because school has started again and because of that I won't be having much time to write so from now on a chapter will be coming every 2 or 3 weeks, depends entirely on how much homework and tests are coming my way. And I really need to put all my efforts in school since it's my last year of school and I really need to graduate so school is coming first and then writing. I hope you all will understand and I will definitely NOT abandon this story, ever. _

_Hope you will all enjoy this longer chapter and please leave me a REVIEW afterwards because I've noticed that the reviews has been going downwards lately and some people who have always reviewed don't anymore so I sincerely hope that you are all still pleased with the way this story is going and please tell me if you think it's getting boring. _

_And I want to refer back to the previous chapter where SeriouslyMcdreaming noticed that in some sentences you could only find '''' with no actual words. I really don't know what went wrong with uploading because when I write it on Microsoft Word the words are there. So something must went wrong with uploading and when I went to replace the missing words and post it again the '''' where still there with no words grrrr.. But, I've also noticed that the only words missing with the '''' are names. So no major sentences are left out. Only names, so when it happens in this chapter or the next, just imagine the names, you can easily fit them in while reading. Still, sorry for that, some found it hard to read. _

_So, all I've left to tell you is enjoy reading this chapter and I hope it's worth the wait!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 12: Acting as human beings**

_''They found Meredith!'' Richard said relieved. _

''What's taking this damn thing so long!'' Cristina yelled, clearly impatient.

''Just calm down, okay?'' One of the nurses replied. ''It will get there''

''Calm down!'' She said incredulous. ''You're telling me to calm down while Derek here is very sick and needs help immediately which we can't provide in this stupid elevator'' Cristina was beginning to get very worried, Derek was on the verge of slipping into a coma and they couldn't do a thing about that.

''It won't take longer than half a minute, I'm sure of that -''

But she couldn't finish her sentence when suddenly everyone's attention was drawn to the patient laying on the gurney.

''Derek!'' Cristina yelled, when she saw Derek convulsing for the third time. ''Fuck!''

''Give me the Lorazepam NOW!''

Both nurses stood dead in their track, staring at their colleague laying there on the gurney, convulsing.

''The Lorazepam NOW!'' Cristina yelled louder when she saw no moment in either of the nurses. ''What are you two staring at! I need the Lorazepam now!''

''Uhhhh..'' The somewhat taller nurse with red hair stuttered.

''NOW!'' Cristina yelled sharply.

''We don't have any!'' The other nurse said frightened.

''FUCK!'' Cristina yelled again, only now more loudly. She didn't have a clue as to what next and that made her angry and scared at the same time. Derek was still convulsing heavily and there wasn't a thing they could to about it other than to watch and see him slip into a coma.

And that was just too much for her right now..

''What are we gonna do now?'' The read-headed nurse asked.

Although they both have been trained to deal with this kind of situations, it's still a shock to see it actually happening in front of your eyes and then you can only agree with the stories other people say about how you freeze and all the medical knowledge you've gained over the years slips away in only one second.. leaving you as a mess behind.

''I..I…I don't know'' Cristina said, staring at Derek's convulsing body with tears in her eyes.

''But-''

*Ping*

Suddenly they got welcomed with the most beautiful, amazing sound they were so desperately hoping for. The sound the elevator makes announcing the destination is reached. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Derek just got a second chance at life.

So when the elevator doors opened, Cristina immediately began yelling while running along with the gurney heading towards the Trauma Room where Bailey and Altman were already waiting for them.

''He's convulsing! I need Lorazepam now!''

Bailey and Altman in shock at Derek convulsing heavily onto the gurney. They had never seen a colleague in such a situation and it honestly scared them.

''How..wh-'' Bailey was trying to say but Cristina immediately interrupted.

''I don't have time to get all chatty chatty and he surely doesn't have the time either'' She said in a demanding and scary voice that would probably scare the crap out of everyone.

And neither of them even dared to ask further, so they got to work immediately and Cristina grabbed the Lorazepam and administered it into his I.V.

After a few terrifying seconds, Derek stopped seizing and his body went limp again.

Everyone in the room breathed a sigh of relief except for Cristina, who knew that this was just the beginning of what was yet to come for Derek and she honestly felt responsible for the situation he was in now. 'If I had just paid attention to Mer when she called me then this would all never happened and Derek would be at least less worse than he is now and…. Mer would probably be here too instead of going out to get help and probably get lost or… worse….' she thought.

''!'' Altman yelled, which pulled Cristina out of her thoughts immediately..

''Get it together now, okay? He will need all the help we can get him''

Cristina just nodded and went to cut his clothes and then turned around to grab the EKG leads to place it on Derek's chest.

''Okay people'' Altman spoke up. ''what I've heard from Bailey here is that his respiratory system is falling due to double pneumonia which has not been treated right away. Because of that, it has progressed, so we will need to do everything in our power to fight this infection''

Everyone in the room give a firm but sad nod. ''Has he been awake since his arrival ?'' Altman asked.

''Barely'' Cristina said. ''When we found him there he was already barely conscious and his temperature was through the roof, he was also soaked and very cold which is high likely the cause of his pneumonia '' As quickly as Cristina's emotions came, as quickly they fade away and she was back to her old emotionless, hard-core self.

Altman nodded and then quickly looked over at the numerous monitors displaying Derek's vitals. When she saw his vitals she cursed under her breath. ''His pulse-ox is only at 75%!'' She said. ''Turn up the oxygen flow now!''

One of the nurses turned up the oxygen flow immediately and Altman just kept staring at the monitor….

''Fuck!'' She yelled when she saw that his sats were not improving. ''We need to intubate!''

Bailey stood frozen. She couldn't do anything other than to stare at Derek's pale and sweating body. He looked like he was dead and she had to try really hard to not picture him that way.

Cristina flew in motion and grabbed the sux and etomidate to insert it into his I.V

''Sux and etomidate are in!''Cristina yelled.

''Okay, 8-ET tube now!'' Altman yelled.

Altman looked up and saw Bailey staring at Derek with wide eyes. 'She has not moved since we got here', she thought.

''Bailey!''Altman yelled. But she got no response. ''Bailey!'' She tried again.

''Altman'', the 8-ET tube'' One of the nurses said and gave it to her.

''Okay, someone get Bailey out of her NOW!'' She yelled. An then she quickly slid the tube down Derek's throat and saw to her great relief that his sats went up immediately.

''Okay, good job everybody'' She said to everyone in the room while nurse Katy had taken Bailey out of the trauma room.

His sats were now up to 90% percent and while it still wasn't great it was something, and they assumed it would only get higher once his fever is down.

''Yang!'' Altman spoke when she laid eyes on Derek's swollen, discolored wrist. ''Do you know if he has fallen down?''

And Cristina only had to follow 's eye direction to know what she was talking about. ''Uhhhm..'' She started. She was still getting a bit choked up when she imagined how it must have hurt before he had most likely passed out. And then the discoloring of his arm which would only mean one thing. That he had set it himself…

''I'm pretty sure yeah, and when.. when you look at the discoloring and the amount of swelling.. it must be a severely fracture and I.. I think he.. may have set it himself''

Altman had never seen this side of Cristina before and it kind of scared her to see her like this. So she looked up at Cristina and then back at Derek's wrist and knew that Cristina was right.

''And I'm sure he needs surgery on his wrist but because of his high fever he can't have the surgery yet and I'm sure that you agree that his lungs can't take a surgery right now so I think it's just best to page now and let her decide what to do with his wrist because he needs a good working wrist you know because he's a-''

''Yang!'' Altman said with a minimal raised voice.

''You're rambling. Isn't that what Grey's supposed to do, not you?''

Cristina looked up to face and gave her a glare. ''Don't talk about my person when you barely know her!'' She said angrily. Her emotions were all over the place right now.

''I..I'' Altman was really taken aback by Cristina's sudden outburst and she had no idea what to say.

''Let's page Torres !'' She said, completely off the subject. ''And give him some Tylenol for the fever'' And Cristina just kept staring at her with a face that says 'another word about my person and I kill you' but she got interrupted a minute later when came into the room. She was informed that Derek was gonna be brought in but heard nothing on his condition so she was shocked when she got the 911 page.

''How.. how is she?'' Was the first thing she asked, and probably everyone would ask.

''Stable for now'' Altman replied. ''But you need to take a look at his wrist. It's not looking good''

Callie walked over to the other side of the gurney and when she saw his wrist she couldn't believe it. ''How did this happen? Does anyone know that?'' She asked.

Both Cristina and Teddy shook their heads. ''I think he's fallen down'' Cristina said.

Callie carefully grabbed his arm and inspected his wrist more closely.

''There's a lot of swelling and discoloring'' She said. ''But I can see that's it already set. Man this is a bad fracture'' And she shook her head in disbelief. ''Who set it?'' She asked.

And both doctors looked at the ground simultaneously, neither of them saying a word.

''What's going on?'' Callie asked. But she got the feeling that she already knew what was going on.

Cristina was the first who spoke up. ''He.. he's set it himself''

Callie moved her eyes from Cristina to Derek and she tried not to think of how painful it must have been. As an orthopedic surgeon she knew how nasty bone fractures could be and the amount of pain they've caused. And she knew by the look of his wrist that it was gonna be a long and painful recovery and that only time would tell if he will regain full function of his wrist in the future.

''Well.. it's definitely surgical'' She said, taking another close look at his wrist. ''I think it's an incomplete fracture but I need to go in to take a better look at it. But here definitely saved his arm from amputation. If he hadn't set his arm back then it would be dead by now. Now he still has the chance to be a surgeon''

A small smile appeared on the three surgeons but they all knew that Derek wasn't out of the woods yet. Though they were glad he even made it to the hospital in his condition. But they all knew was a healthy, vibrant man who took care of himself so they were positive that he pulled through.

Then all of a sudden the door opened and Richard made his appearance.

''How is he doing?'' Richard asked.

''Stable but critical'' Altman said.

''Chief?'' Cristina started. ''Derek started seizing in the elevator but we were able to give him the Lorazepam in time to prevent him from slipping into a coma. Though this has not been the first time sir. He seized two times before we got him in the helicopter so I think it's best if we send him for a CT-scan now he's stable''

Richard quickly took in everything said and added: ''Okay, send him for a CT-scan and if it shows no signs of damage I want him to wake up in the next 12 hours. But for now rest is what he needs and we need to monitor him constantly for any changes so move him to the CICU after you're done''

''Will do Chief'' Cristina said. And then they all moved to make Derek ready for transport to the CICU…

''Richard!'' Owen said breathlessly after running around in search to find him.

''Everything alright ?'' Richard asked worried.

''Yes Chief, everything's good considering but what I wanted to ask is where's Shepherd?''

''He's been moved to the CICU'' Richard said.

''Do you know how he's doing? Has he been awake?'' Owen asked.

''He's critical but stable. But he hasn't been awake yet which is completely understandable after 3 seizures due to his high fever'' He said with a sad expression on his face. Although he and Derek weren't best friends he still cared for him, for all his staff members.

''He's had a third seizure?'' Owen asked shocked.

''Yes'' Richard said sadly. ''And although they weren't able to treat him right away since there was some trouble with the elevator he pulled through. But we're still very concerned about his respiratory system. He's currently on a ventilator to give his lungs the time to rest and heal and Yang's gonna do a CT-scan to rule out any brain damage he might have from the seizures. But other than that I don't know because I haven't had the time to fully assess his condition and if you would excuse me, I need to make a phone call''

''Of course Chief, thank you, and I hope Meredith is alright'' Owen said with a sad stare that said everything about what he was feeling.

''I hope so too'' Richard said and then excused himself and walked away towards his office to make the phone call while he saw Owen walking towards the locker room. 'Probably gonna take a shower, poor guy has been through enough in his life' he thought.


	13. Chapter 13

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 13!_

_I took me quite some time to update this. I think it has been almost 2 weeks, so sorry for the delay folks. But like I said, school started a few weeks ago and though I didn't get much homework I did get other things that needed to be taken care of (including a school trip to get to know my new class! And man, what was that awesome! It was survival and we had a lot to endure physically but it was amazing, really, and then a BBQ after we got back ) _

_And I have to say I'm quite happy with this chapter since I thought that chapter 12 was one of my weakest chapters of this story.._

_And I have noticed that my chapters are getting longer almost every chapter :p Not on purpose though :p I think that's because I write the characters feelings down more often and the whole scene around the conversation as you can understand what I mean._

_And at last, I have to mention that this is originally a MerDer fic but as the chapters went by, Mark, Cristina, Richard, and and probably about everyone else made their appearance in this story too :p hope you don't mind but without them this story couldn't really progress and even if it could, it would have been boring I think, with just the two of them :p_

_So… enjoy reading it and let me know what you thought of it afterwards! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 13: Worrying for the whole world**

_''I hope so too'' Richard said and then excused himself and walked away towards his office to make the phone call while he saw walking towards the locker room. 'Probably gonna take a shower, poor guy has been through enough in his life' he thought. _

It was just over 6 AM and the sun was on the verge of shining. It had been a long day for all the doctors and nurses on staff but this day was different. Barely 20 hours ago, 2 of his staff members were reported missing. One for which he kept a special place in his heart. And everybody knew he considered her his own daughter. His 'daughter' who just got married with his high class neurosurgeon. At first, he must admit, he wasn't too happy after what Derek had done to Meredith but he knew that he had changed over the years and that their love for each other was beyond borders. He knew they were meant to be with each other and that made him content. Though thinking about this didn't make him forget why he was here. He needed to make sure that Meredith had indeed been found and then he was able to take a deep breath for the first time over the past 20 hours. So he began searching through his cell phone records and found the number of the paramedic who called him with the great news…

''Rob Belsey here'' The paramedic spoke.

''Good morning '' Richard said. ''You called me earlier today to tell me that one of my staff members, has been found ''

''Oh yes'' He replied. ''You wanted to speak to here right?''

''Yes please'' Richard responded. And he waited nervously for to tell him where Meredith is and if she's safe.

After what felt like minutes but was just seconds, Mark got on the phone.

''Chief'' He spoke. ''I've found Meredith. She's alive and conscious but she has hurt her leg so I will get here in an ambulance right after this call and I think if all goes well with traffic we will be at the hospital in less than half an hour''

No one spoke for at least 10 seconds an Mark got worried.

''Chief, are you still there?'' He asked.

''Yes, I'm still here '' He said a bit too harshly for his liking. But the only thing he could think of were those three words swirling in his head, giving him a killer head ache. 'Meredith is hurt'. And although told him she was conscious and not in immediate danger he still worried for her and wanted her to be at the hospital as soon as possible.

''How…how's her leg? Is it bad?'' He asked, his voice clearly shaking.

''I don't really know for sure but I think it's broken. Though it most likely isn't a severe fracture as the swelling is minimal and her ankle isn't out of place. But her leg was stuck for some time and there are some cuts on it. Nothing too serious fortunately'' He said. Relieved that his dirty mistress was gonna be fine in a few weeks tops.

''Good'' Richard said relieved. ''That's good. See you at the hospital in about thirty minutes then''

''Wait!'' Mark said quickly, afraid that Richard was gonna hang up. ''Do you know if Derek has been found yet ?'' He asked with hesitation. He had promised Meredith to find Derek but first he needed to know if Derek had been found already. And to be honest, he was scared. Scared to what Richard was going to say and if it was going to be bad news. And he didn't know if he could handle any more bad news today.

''He's…'' 'How am I going to tell his best friend about… about his brother' He thought. But he knew he had no time to think this through because if he waited too long, would expect the worse and that, he didn't want to happen. ''He's been found, yes.'' Was the only thing he was going to say for now. He sincerely hoped wouldn't ask further but he knew that was what was going to happen though.

''Thank God'' Mark said relieved. Knowing that he was at least not in the woods anymore under these circumstances. But remembering what Meredith said about how she ended up there, he got slightly worried.

''Is he alright?''He asked nervously, though he tried his hardest to stabilize his voice.

''Well….'' Richard began. ''About 2 hours after I send and with the rescue team, I got word on that he was found. When they got to him he was clearly in critical condition and and medivact him in a standard helicopter to here. When he arrived at the hospital he was in respiratory distress due to double pneumonia. We put him on oxygen but that didn't help so we had to intubate him. Give his lungs the time to heal''

Mark was shocked to the bone. His brother, on a ventilator. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't believe it. ''Is… is he going to make it?'' Was the next and only thing on his mind.

''We have good hope that he is going to make it '' Richard said confident. Really believing it himself because he knows how good his staff is and what a fighter Derek Shepherd is. So he had good hopes that Derek was indeed going to pull through. He knew Derek well enough that he would do anything to stay with Meredith.

''Good'' Mark breathed through the phone. Though he knew that telling Meredith this was going to be hard. And he had to mentally prepare himself for that. ''Chief, I got to go know, I see you in about thirty minutes''

''Alright, see you then'' Richard said. And then hung up, hurrying of to Meredith to get her into the ambulance as quickly as possible and tell her the good and bad news….

''Mark!'' Meredith exclaimed relieved when she saw him running towards her. But her expression changed immediately when she saw a certain look on his face. That look he would get when something bad has just happened and she knew instantly what could have possibly made him that upset because Mark rarely got upset. So when he did, all alarm bells were jingling. And tears began pooling in her green eyes.

''Mark?'' She asked , almost whispering. 'Is he-''

But Meredith immediately got interrupted by Mark's hard but caring voice. ''No, he's not'' He said. ''But he's not doing great either''

Meredith's eyes widened at Mark's words and the tears that were slowly building up in her eyes broke through the dam and were splashing like maniacs onto Mark's jeans.

''Hey..'' Mark began. ''Come here kiddo'' And he extended his arms to give Mer another sitting hug, which she gladly accepted. ''It's gonna be okay. He grew up with ME so he learned to be tough and to stand his ground and now, now he has the opportunity to show it to you and I'm positive he will give you his best shot. My brother never fails to give his wife his best shot you know'' And he winked suggestively at her, which made her laugh. And that was exactly what he wanted for now.

''But I came here to get you out of here kiddo ,so are you ready?'' He asked in such a sweet and deliberate voice. And Meredith couldn't wait to get to Derek so she immediately extended out her arms for him to lift her up. So that was what he did and Mark walked her out of the woods, towards where the ambulance was waiting for them.

''We're here!'' Mark yelled to the paramedic Rob Belsey who was probably already inside, waiting for them.

Suddenly heard a male voice 'They're here' he thought. And he got out of the ambulance to see and the missing girl standing there. She was completely drenched and covered in mud from head to toe. 'Poor girl' he thought. And he opened the back door of the ambulance so that could put her on the gurney where the temperature was at least much more pleasant than it was outside.

Mark laid her down on the gurney and put the covers up midway to her neck. Then he started an I.V because he assumed she didn't had enough water to keep herself hydrated since he didn't saw a water bottle or a backpack with her back then and he really didn't know for how long she had been without water.

''Just a little pinch'' He said. And then inserted the needle into her vain, connected it to the cannula who's connected to the saline bag and hung it onto the pole beside the gurney.

Then he grabbed a splint and began stabilizing Meredith's leg.

''All done?'' asked friendly after a few minutes.

''Yes, we're ready to go'' Mark answered. And he positioned himself onto the chair beside the gurney.

nodded and closed the doors of the ambulance and made his way over towards the driver seat. He then started the ambulance and in about half an hour they would arrive at Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital…

Owen was getting into new, clean scrubs after showering for almost half an hour and he looked at his watch nervously. It said 7:00 AM, and he sighed. Almost 24 hours his friends were just fine, probably even still asleep. Not knowing that hell was just around the corner for the both of them.

He sat down on the bench inside the locker room and put his head between his legs. ''Why them?'' He said out loud and shook his head in disbelief.

After a few seconds of collecting himself, he got up and decided to look how Derek was doing, although he already knew the answer…

Owen was walking through the CICU corridor and noticed that it was eerily quiet. And although he knew that ICU departments were always quieter than others it still scared him. So he sped up his pace and before he knew it he arrived at the nurses' station.

He looked around and saw 2 nurses staring into a particular room and he knew instantly that it had to be Derek's. A genuine smile crept on his face at the sight. 'Derek being the womanizer… again. Even when he is out cold and lying in an hospital bed looking the least McDreamy he gets the attention of women' He thought. But no jealousy there, because he knew he already had the most beautiful woman on the earth loving him and he felt nothing but love in return.

So he walked over to what most likely would be Derek's room and noticed that both of the nurses had left. He now stands in front of the nurses' station where he could see Derek lying in his hospital bed and Callie putting a cardboard cast around his wrist.

And Owen's eyes prickled with tears when he saw all the tubes and wires snaking in and out of Derek's body. His face was as pale as a ghost and he could almost hear the humming of the ventilator, shoving another breath of air into Derek's damaged lungs.

Then suddenly a door opened and Owen got pulled out of his thoughts unexpectedly and flinched.

''Everything alright ?'' Callie asked with a frown on her face.

''Uhh.. yes, yes, everything's fine '' He responded, and tried to steady his voice but it came out uncertain and this only made question him more.

''Really ? Because you doesn't look like you're fine..'' She said.

''I am, really.. it's just that.. Derek.. he's in really bad shape and..-''

''I know'' Callie cut him off. ''But I'm positive he will pull through. He's after all and what I've heard about him tells me that he will do everything to stay with us. He loves Meredith to death and will do everything to grow old with her''

She laid her hand on Owen's shoulder reassuringly and Owen knew she was right, but still, he worried and knew that he wouldn't stop worrying before he really knew that Derek was going to be okay.

''I know'' He said.

''Now, let's get him some rest so he can try to recover'' She said to him and she glanced over one more time before walking down the CICU ward towards the E.R…

Owen looked into Derek's room one more time, and seeing that nothing had changed over the minutes he was there he decided that rest was what he would most need at the moment so he turned away and walked towards the cafeteria to grab a sandwich before lying down in an on-call room to try and get some sleep after the most terrible day he had experienced in years.


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 14!_

_I hope you all didn't wait too long! School wasn't that busy this week but I need to give bad news unfortunately because next week will be very busy! I have an excursion to The Hague to dive into the world of politicians and I have to work a lot on my PWS about 9/11. So I don't think I will get another chapter up for 3 weeks at least. But… I will do my very best and maybe I can get it up faster if the teachers are nice to us :p _

_So, I hope you will enjoy reading this chapter and let me know what you thought of it! Because REVIEWS always make me happy and gets a chapter up faster! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 14: One big family**

_Owen looked into Derek's room one more time, and seeing that nothing had changed over the minutes he was there he decided that rest was what he would most need at the moment so he turned away and walked towards the cafeteria to grab a sandwich before lying down in an on-call room to try and get some sleep after the most terrible day he had experienced in years. _

''Karev, Avery! I need you two in the ambulance bay right now!'' Richard shouted above the noise in the ER hall and they both got running towards him immediately.

''Is it Meredith sir?'' asked, after hearing the full story from Cristina of what had happened the day before when he was out of town for a friend's wedding party.

''Yes, she will be brought in along with who has found ''

The three of them quickly got dressed in full PPE and made their way into the ambulance bay. The sirens were blaring and the sound got louder any second, signaling that the ambulance was near its destination. When the ambulance stopped, got out rather quickly, almost tripping in the process.

''Meredith Grey, 28 years old female, possible broken shin and some cuts and bruises. Vitals are looking good'' Mark shouted and pulled the stretcher out of the back of the ambulance.

Richard immediately jumped into action and practically run over to the stretcher to see if she was alright. But what he saw, broke his heart and he let out a gasp. She was covered in dirt from head to toe and there were some angry looking cuts on her prone body.

''She's asleep now'' Mark told Richard. ''It's been a very long day for her and I just told her what Derek's condition is and almost right after, she fell asleep. So I don't wanna wake her sir. And nothing has changed in the way over here I just put a splint on her leg and hung a bag of saline''

But Richard eyes were still casting down on Meredith's body and no information came through whatsoever.

''Chief?'' Mark started, a bit confused as to why Richard was still looking at Meredith like she had grown 3 heads. ''Did you hear what I just said?''

Richard shot up immediately and looked confused at Mark. ''Uh.. What? Sorry , what did you say? We… We should get her inside, now'' And Richard pulled the stretcher inside along with Dr. Karev and who were in full doctor mode by now.

''We need thermal blankets!'' Richard shouted. ''And set up an I.V im-!''

''Chief!'' Mark interfered. ''I already set up an I.V and hung a bag of saline along with a splint for Meredith's leg. What we need now is getting her up for a Head-CT and check for internal bleeding''

''Okay! Let's get her up to CT now!'' Richard ordered, and within seconds Meredith was wheeled out of the trauma room.

''How's Meredith?'' Owen asked as he saw Meredith being wheeled out of the Trauma Room.

''It seems like she sustained no serious injuries but we don't know for sure until we get the scans done'' Richard answered in a quick response and looked down at his shoes in an attempt to block out the pain he was feeling in full force.

''She will be okay, Chief, she's a fighter just like Shepherd'' He said and gave Richard a pat on his shoulder as a supportive gesture. Though he knew that the pain would not go away with just a simple gesture like a pat on the shoulder. And most people would say: 'Time heals' but that's different for each human being. We all react differently on bad things happening in our lives. And somehow, we all need to deal with them in order to go on with our lives. Yeah.. life is that cruel.

30 minutes has passed since Meredith was wheeled out to get some scans done and Richard was getting quite impatient.

''They should be done by now, shouldn't' they?'' He asked impatiently.

''Chief, there may have been a delay. That's not unusual this time of the year'' Owen said, trying to reassure the Chief that nothing bad has happened with Meredith.

''But what if sh-'' But Richard got distracted when he saw the bed with Meredith on it coming towards him and he instantly took a run to see if something has changed or bad has happened.

''Is she okay?'' He asked to Mark who was staring directly into his eyes.

''She is, chief. The scans showed no major head injury, just a mild concussion and no internal bleeding has been detected. But there is a small fracture in her left shine, but it's only hair lined. So we just need to put that in a cast and some steri-strips to close the small wound on her shin''

Richard breathed a sigh of relief and a huge amount of pressure fell of his shoulders when Mark uttered those words. ''Has she been awake yet?'' He asked curiously and a bit hesitant because he knew from experience that even if the patients scans were clear, some just wouldn't wake up for no particular reason.

''Yes, she's been awake for about a minute when we got her out of the scanner. And she showed no signs of confusion or anything that should indicate a head injury'' Mark said with a bright smile plastered on his face.

''Good.. good'' Richard said relieved.

''Yeah..'' Mark replied. ''We're just gonna wheel her into her room now and we already paged to take a second look and put her left leg in a cast''

Richard nodded and then they wheeled her out of the hallway and into her room…

When Meredith was settled, Mark got the time to think. And the first thing that came on his mind was his brother. So he excused himself and got out of the room, but when he did, he bumped into Owen.

''Oh!.. so sorry , you alright?'' He asked and put his left hand instantly on Owen's shoulder, should he not be so steady on his feet.

''I'm alright , thank you'' He said and he steadied himself.

''Oh!'' Mark said, suddenly something coming up in his whirlwind of a mind again. ''Do you know what Derek's room is?''

''Yes, he's in room 882 on the CICU floor, but I should warn you. He's not looking too good'' He said with a sad expression that said everything.

'Of course he's not looking too good!' He thought. 'How the hell can you look good when you're in such bad shape as Derek' But this was not the time to argue. Keeping your head cool is essential in such situations. So he just nodded and said: ''Thank you'' And then he fled away, in desperate need to see his brother….

It was eerily quiet when he walked through the corridor of the CICU ward, in search of his brother. He passed some nurses who were staring at him and giggling loudly. And normally he would react, normally he would smile back and say something that made the nurses melt and then, he could fulfill his duty as a manwhore. But now.. he was nothing like that. Now, he was the man that acted like a brother, who worried for him and would reverse roles if it was possible. But it wasn't, and he stared at the ground, not daring to look up and meet a pair of eyes that would say sympathy. Because he wasn't in the mood for sympathy glares and sorry's. Not know… know he needed to be strong, for his brother and for himself.

When he got to Derek's room and stared through the glass door, he couldn't do much more than to gasp and stare. His mouth hanging open widely. He couldn't believe his eyes. His brother… so… so vulnerable and pale and… he… He choked up, and suddenly felt a warm hand pressing on his shoulder. He turned around and was met with Richard.

''Chief…'' Mark said, almost whispering. And although he didn't like to expose his other side, he knew that there was no room for shame or uneasiness. He could let his emotions out without some cruel aftermath, because everybody understood. Everybody knew what was going on and so it wasn't a shame if he let his emotions out.

''Don't'' Richard said. Knowing exactly what he wanted to say. Because unfortunately, he had experienced some himself and he knew that almost all of them took the blame for their loved ones getting hurt and Mark was a not an exception.

''But-''

''No!'' Richard said fiercely. ''You don't get the blame for this. You couldn't do a thing about it. It was just bad luck and I know that doesn't rake the guilt or pain away but you can't blame yourself, do you hear me? There's no possible way you could have prevent this from happening''

Mark looked down at the ground again, he just needed to not think. He needed to be alone. But deep down inside, he welcomed Richard's comfort so he just let his body take control. ''I know, but he looks so bad Chief, he looks so bad and I can't… I just can't'' Suddenly, out of the blue, a lone tear escaped his eyelids and landed on his shoe. At that moment, he wanted to run, to hide, and just forget this ever happened. But he knew there was no possible way he could get out of here without being seen, so he chose to stay right here, where the damage would be minimal.

''Mark'' Richard spoke, debating in his head if he should name him by his first name or to just go with his surname. He opted for the first. ''It's okay. I know it's scary to see Derek so vulnerable. But I strongly believe he will pull through and I need you to believe that too''

Mark looked up, meeting Richard's eyes and there he saw nothing other than sincere sympathy. And for the first time since forever he felt relief. Relief like he had never felt before and he believed the Chief that his brother would be okay eventually ,although he knew a tough recovery would be inevitable. But Derek was strong and he was going to make it, and a few bumps on the road would not stop him with Meredith by his side.

Suddenly he remembered he needed to check on Meredith. ''Oh Chief, I need to go, I need to check on Meredith again. Uh.. can you tell me if anything changes..?''

Richard nodded and said: ''Of course, go check on Meredith, I will tell you when something changes right away''

''Thank you Chief'' He said and then walked away towards the elevator that would lead him towards Meredith's floor.

When he saw Mark taking the elevator he turned around and started to walk away but he got met with 2 pair of eyes staring at him intensively.

Alex and Lexie were standing in front of the nurses' station, both looking sad with tears glistering in Lexie's eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Then all of a sudden, Alex spoke up: ''How is he doing?'' He asked, and you could sense there was a lot of baggage behind his voice. The way he spoke was just foreign to her and being completely silent for almost the entire day it surprised Lexie and she stared at him with compassion. She knew that Alex was a friend of Meredith's and that he can show his sentimental side sometimes. But just not very often, so she was genuinely surprised by his action.

''He's struggling… but holding on'' Richard said.

Alex and Lexie just nodded and then Richard spoke up again. ''Excuse me, I need to go now'' And within a second he took off. Walking towards the same elevator Mark had disappeared in just minutes ago.

He just needed to get out of this place in order to clear his head and make rational decisions if needed. He just… he just needed to be able to feel real again…


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 15! Finally I think you all say :P Yeah.. It's been more than 2 weeks since I updated right? School was just so busy and I have a one week vacation so I thought it was about time to start writing! So here it is! Chapter 15! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!_

_I think there are about 3 or 4 chapters left for this story. But there will still be some bumps in the road ahead for Meredith and Derek so watch out you all! For now I would just like to say: Enjoy reading it and let me know what you thought of it! With reviews you let me know that you enjoy reading my story and I love to read them and reply if you'd like. And you can always PM me if you have any questions regarding the story! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 15: Second chances**

_He just needed to get out of this place in order to clear his head and make rational decisions if needed. He just… he just needed to be able to feel real again… _

_2 days later…_

It's been 4 days since Derek was brought in and he was still depending on the ventilator, but they all knew he was improving every day, just not as fast as they would've wanted. And Meredith was getting impatient…

''Why hasn't he woken up yet!'' She said angrily. Though she knew in what kind of shape Derek was in she just couldn't bear the fact that she hasn't seen Derek's piercing deep blue eyes in over 4 days.

Richard cleared his throat and walked over towards the door where Meredith was leaning on and said: ''Meredith, you know in what kind of shape Derek lungs are in. You need to give him some time. You knew that we put him under a light anesthetic so his lungs could heal without dealing with all the stress and the pain he's gonna feel when he wakes up''

She sighed but knew that it was all for the better. Derek's recovery would go much faster if the pain was minimal and with his lungs in such bad shape it was better that it had the chance to heal now without all the stress than at home where she knew he would hover over her all the time since she can't move freely. And that would be bad in his condition, really bad.

''I know, I know. But he's.. he's Derek and Derek never gets sick. And… and he hates depending on others and I know that he will need help with almost everything for at least a week but it's… and he..he-''

''Meredith!'''Richard interrupted when she noticed that Meredith was rambling and he knew that rambling was bad, he knew that she was blaming herself for the condition Derek is currently in and he knows how Meredith's mind works and the dark and twisty moments she experiences when something bad has happened and he just couldn't let that happen again. Not when he can something to prevent that.

''Look at me Meredith'' He said in a calm but caring voice and he took a step forward so that his face was almost touching hers. ''Look at me'' He said again when she still wasn't meeting his eyes.

''I know it's scary. But I also know that everything will work out. The first few weeks will be hard, on the both of you, but I know your friends and they will help you two out, I'm sure of that. And I spoke to just half an hour ago and she said she has lowered the dose of his anesthetic. So I'm pretty sure Derek will wake up in just a matter of hours''

Meredith finally met Richard's eyes and the both of them kept staring at each other. They knew what one another meant without speaking the actual words and it felt good to just not think for a moment.

Suddenly the door opened and Cristina and Mark entered the room. Meredith and Richard looked up in shock immediately, the both assuming that something was wrong with Derek.

''Is something wrong with Derek!'' Meredith asked panicked, already in tears.

Cristina spoke up immediately, trying to get through Meredith who was literally on the verge of crying. ''Nothing's wrong with Derek Mer! I just came here to see how you were doing and to talk about my kick-ass SOLO valve replacement I got to do today!''

Cristina was smiling from ear to ear, like she had won the lottery, but Meredith was almost positive that Cristina would prefer a solo valve replacement over the lottery. She was born to be a kick-ass hard core cardiac surgeon like she would call herself and Meredith liked to see her person so happy these days.

''Don't you have anything to say to that Mer?'' Cristina asked with a big smile on her face.

A small smile formed on Meredith's face and she was about to say something when Mark opened up his big mouth. ''Big Grey!'' He more demanded than actually said. ''Can I speak to you in the hallway? I have to ask you something''

When Meredith processed Mark's words in her head and thought about the meanings of his sentence, she could only come up with one, and tears came to her eyes again .Cristina slapped Mark on the back of his head when she saw what he did to her person who she had calmed down just a few minutes ago.

''Ouch!'' Mark said angrily and he rubbed the back of his head. ''Why did have you do that?'' But when he got a closer look at Meredith he realized how Meredith could've interpreted his words and he immediately regretted saying it.

''Mer, this is not about Derek. Derek is fine'' But when he uttered those words in order to try and soothe Meredith he received another slap on the back of his head from Cristina and he instantly knew what kind of mistake he had made with uttering those words.

''Fuck'' he whispered, but loud enough for everyone in the room to hear it. But when he tried to make it right this time, Richard stepped in, trying to clean up the mess Mark had created.

''Mark, let me sort this out'' He said in a calm voice, and turned his head to the left to look at Meredith, whose body was slightly rocking as a result of the tears she was trying so hard to hold in. But that was partly in vain as small tears were starting to form a clear pathway on her cheeks.

''Meredith'' He began and laid his hand protectively on her shoulder. ''It's okay. I know you're scared, but like I said, everything is gonna be alright and Derek is stable right now'' He looked Mark in the eye and nodded.

Meredith sniffled and slowly looked up, seeing the hurt in Mark's face she immediately regretted her outfall. He was just like her worrying for Derek.

''Mark'' She said. ''Hallway?''

He slowly nodded, still regretting his stupidity.

They slowly left the room, leaving Cristina and Richard behind…

The hallway was quite busy. Nurses and orderlies walking, pushing carts down the hallway and carrying charts. 'Even when it's lunchtime it's that busy?' She thought to herself. But she was quickly pulled out of her thoughts when Mark cleared his throat.

''Mer'' He started. ''What I wanted to ask you is, do you need any help when Derek is out of the hospital? With Derek.. or the household.. because your leg is in a cast and Derek is… and I'm sure your friends will help you two out but… I know I haven't been there lately for Derek and you but I would like to help you out this time if you want to''

Meredith let the words sink in for a moment and Mark immediately thought the worse. ''No, I get it, you already have all the help you need and you don't need to much people hovering over you'' He said.

A small smile was forming on Meredith's face and she couldn't help but chuckle a bit. Mark was such a guy.

''Mark, I think we would really like that'' She said, chuckling.

He stared at her like she had grown two heads. ''What?... you mean.. you.. it's okay?''

''It would be lovely Mark'' She said, smiling at him in utter adoration. ''I think Derek missed his best friend''

''I missed him too…'' He said, directing his eyes to the ground. He didn't quite know how to cope with all the feelings he was feeling right know. Shame washed over him when he thought back to all the things he had done that hurt Derek. Sleeping with Addison, moving to Seattle when Derek had left New York because of him. And on top of that, accepting a job at the same hospital where Derek worked. He had hurt Derek in every way possible and couldn't understand that he still meant something to Derek. He could only be grateful for that. He know had the opportunity to make things right, although he knew that nothing could be like it was before. But it didn't matter to him now, he got the chance to be a brother again.

''Mark!'' Meredith said louder, still chuckling.

''What!.. what's wrong?'' He said alarmed.

She couldn't hold her laughter anymore and laughter filled the busy hallway. Mark stared at her in confusion. ''What's going on Mer?'' He asked, frowning. He had no clue whatsoever.

''You…you'' She started but had to stop every second to contain her laughter and take a breather. ''I called your name like 10 times before you reacted. You were deep in thought apparently'' And a soft giggle was heard.

Mark's cheeks flushed a bit and he didn't quite know what to say to that. ''Oh… I.. I was just thinking.. about the past you know. About the dozens times I hurt Derek'' He said, staring at the ground again, ashamed at what he had done to Derek. He had scarred him for life, he was sure of that, and he couldn't be more ashamed of that.

''Oh Mark'' Meredith said. He really got her off guard with this. She didn't know he was beating himself so bad over it. She knew he was really hurt when the Shepherd's hadn't invite him over Christmas this year but that it was this bad. She couldn't recall him doing anything to make his mistakes right but honestly, she hadn't paid attention to it either. Derek mentioned him sometimes but he rarely talked about the things Mark had done to him. She knew that he and Derek didn't get along quite well anymore but know she thought about it, she knew she had to do something to restore their bond. It was still there, she was sure of that. She just need to give them a push in the right direction.

''Mark, it's okay, really. I appreciate it. Derek may be a bit detached in the beginning, but I'm sure you two will work it out'' She said. Confident that the two of them will work everything out eventually.

''Thank you Big Grey, for everything'' He said in return.

''I think I need to thank you Mark. You were the one that saved my life and gave Derek and me a second chance at life together'' She said. 'And now it's time I give you two a second change too' she thought. She dragged her body a few steps forward and opened her arms for Mark to give him the hug he deserves. He gladly accepted it and they stayed that way for a good 10 seconds before they let go of each other.

A few seconds of silence later and Meredith spoke up again.

''Mark, I'm going to check up on Derek now. I guess I will see you later'' She said, and Mark nodded in agreement. She put her crutches under her armpits again and dragged herself practically out of the hallway and into the elevator.

When she was walking down the CICU hallway and came near his room she heard voices inside. She quickened her pace as fast as her crutched would allow her and when she entered his room she gasped at the sight in front of her. was inside his room trying her best to comfort Derek who was awake and clearly fighting the vent.

''Derek, you need to calm down. I know it's uncomfortable but the tube has to stay in for a while, okay? Your sats still aren't the way we want it and your lungs need time to heal'' Altman said. Then she saw that his gaze was directed to the left and she looked up to see what had gotten his attention.

''Oh, Grey'' She said. ''I was about to page you but then here began fighting the tube so…''

''It's alright'' Meredith said. ''I'm here now'' And she dragged herself over to the bed where he was laying, vulnerable and clearly uncomfortable. She stroked his hair and gave a light kiss on his forehead. ''Don't worry Der'' She whispered softly.

But both Meredith and could see the distress in Derek's eyes. She knew that he was worrying himself sick for her and the fact that he couldn't talk made everyone much worse. He made her feel safe the way he talked to her or caressed her body at night. And now he couldn't do all of that and that made him feel useless and ashamed to say the least.

''It's okay Derek, I'm here and I'm okay'' She said again, trying to comfort Derek a bit. But she knew that it was useless. Derek's ego was big, really big, and lying here, in a hospital bed, barely able to move, will definitely shatter his ego and she had absolutely no say in that.

Suddenly he tried to talk despite the tube but it only put him off worse and Meredith knew she had to do something to calm Derek down or they needed to give him a sedative and she didn't want that to happen.

''Derek, calm down. Please. Everything is gonna be alright. I'm alright see, Mark saved me, I only have a broken leg. Please calm down. The tube will come out soon, I'm sure of that, right Dr. Altman?'' She asked and looked her directly in the eye knowing that Derek needed to have a piece of clarity and certainty in order to calm down.

''Yes'' She answered confident. Though she knew that it would take a while before they will attempt to extubate him. But she understood what Meredith meant and acted along. ''As you know , the tube is not there for nothing. When you was brought in you were in worse shape and both your lungs were infected, most likely as a result of the rain and the high fever. But we managed to find you in time and we were unfortunately forced to put you on a ventilator. You also have a bad broken wrist which requires surgery. When that will happen we don't know exactly. It all depends on how good you recover. And in order to recover, you need to stay calm okay. So no fighting against the tube and worrying too much. You got that ?''

He nodded and then focused his gaze on Meredith again.

''Oh and Grey'' Altman said. ''Don't wind him up too much, he will need all the rest he can get''

''I won't'' She said back and stroked his hair again. He indeed had calmed down to a certain level now, just not the level they've would liked, but it would do.

Altman excused herself and said she would check on him in about half an hour and Meredith noticed that Derek was struggling to stay awake.

''Derek, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I will be here when you wake up, I promise. I won't go anywhere. No running we said huh'' And a small giggle filled the room of the eerily and creepy, white CICU room and the last thing Derek heard before his eye lids closed and the world around him silenced was the soft giggle of Meredith. His Meredith…


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 16! A pretty quick update I'd say but still a good week. This chapter is like almost 4000 words and is the longest chapter of my story so far. So it took me more hours to write it but I'm happy with the outcome! __J__ I hope you will all too! _

_But I also kind of have to bring bad news. I have school exams from 14 till 18 November and they're really important. I really need to get good grades so I can lean back some when I will have to take my final exams around May. So I probably won't update chapter 17 until end November. __L_

_But that's also why I made this one longer than usual. Oh, and one request. Please don't hate me after you've read this chapter! Trust me with this. ;) _

_Oh, and please let me know what you thought of it afterwards! I highly appreciate REVIEWS! They certainly do make me want to write sooner and I love to read them. So review away ;) _

_Enjoy!_

_Warm Regards,_

_Isabel_

__Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun__

**Chapter 16: Panic**

_''Derek, it's okay. You can go to sleep. I will be here when you wake up, I promise. I won't go anywhere. No running we said huh'' And a small giggle filled the room of the eerily and creepy, white CICU room and the last thing Derek heard before his eye lids closed and the world around him silenced was the soft giggle of Meredith. His Meredith…_

12 hours has passed since Derek went to sleep and Meredith was still sitting in the hard, uncomfortable visitors chair beside her husband's bed. She just couldn't close her eyes. Afraid to what would meet her when she opened them again. Afraid to meet her nightmares she was sure she would get over the past couple of days. She just couldn't lose Derek. He is her everything. Her Knight In Shining Whatever. He's the reason she's still standing after all the crap she's been through since her childhood. And Derek not being able to comfort her, to reassure her that everything will be okay, is like a running chicken who just lost his head. Not knowing where direction to go…

''Meredith'' someone whispered.

She turned her head around to see who was calling her name and was met with her person.

Cristina was standing in the doorway, dressed in the usual dark blue scrubs, holding a piece of paper in her hand.

''Cristina'' Meredith whispered back and rose from the uncomfortable chair to full height with the help of her crutches. ''What… what are you doing here? Did you speak to Teddy?'' She stared intently at the piece of paper Cristina was holding. ''Are that his lab results? Is something wrong with Derek?'' Meredith asked, panic overtaking her worn-out body.

Cristina knew her person and the way her brain worked, so she had to be careful what words to use to answer all her questions without giving her person a heart attack.

''Yes and No'' Cristina said bluntly.

''What?'' Meredith said confused, panic rising in her throat. ''What's going on Cristina?''

''Yes, these are his labs. And no, there is nothing wrong with Derek''

She handed Meredith the piece of paper and folded her arms, a smile forming on her face. Meredith on the other hand, was too busy reading to read Cristina's composure. Her eyes were scanning the paper like it displayed her whole future and Cristina had to rip it out of her hands when she noticed she wasn't breathing.

''Mer!'' She said loudly, trying to get her attention back.

''What!'' she jumped up. Not knowing why Cristina was practically yelling at her.

''Good'' Cristina replied when she noticed her person was finally breathing again. ''Okay, did you actually read his lab results? She said, frowning.

But when Meredith gave Cristina 'the look' she knew she hadn't. Meredith always had the same kind of expression in her face when she was confused or just didn't know what to say. And sometimes it irritated her, but she knew what Meredith has been through the last couple of days and that she was fighting like hell to keep 'Dark & Twisty' Meredith far away. And as her person, she was going to do what persons do for their persons. Helping.

''He's doing good Mer'' She said, a small smile creeping on her face.

''He is? He really is?''

''Yes he is'' Cristina said again. Really happy for her friend to finally deliver good news when it had only been bad news the past couple of days.

Meredith saw the smile on her person's face and knew it was good. Cristina smiling was rare. It had something to do with her composure. The way she wants others to look at her as someone who's hard, unforgiving, smart, and badass. But Meredith knew that that person, was not her person. It's just a shield, but a tough shield to brake though. And only a few know the real Cristina. A person who's caring, loving, but still with a lot of badass in her. And that makes her the surgeon who she is now, the kind of surgeon she wanted to be since she was a child..

''And I spoke to Teddy this morning and she thinks Derek's oxygen levels will be good enough to try and get him off the ventilator this evening'' She said.

''Really?'' Meredith asked, smiling from ear to ear. Derek would finally be able to talk again, although it will be painful for him and he can probably just whisper. But it would mean a lot, not only for him but also for herself.

''Really Mer. But he needs all the rest he can get so his oxygen levels remain this stable okay?''

''Ofcourse'' Meredith replied. She would do anything to help Derek and knew that him being off the ventilator would be a big step, not only medically but mostly mentally. Derek is a private person, likes to keep his problems for himself, but his ego always stands in the way of things. And that ego also involves humiliation. Derek would be a lot more comfortable without the tube preventing him from all kind of things. The only way to communicate the past couple of days was with eye contact. And Meredith noticed all too good the stress in his eyes where normally the McDreamy sparkle sparkles. He would finally be able to communicate again and when the tube's gone, relief will overtake the pressure…

''Okay..'' Cristina looked at her watch '' I'm now going to grab something from the cafeteria before going into a hardcore surgery , see you around Mer'' Cristina said and turned around to walk away.

''Oh and Mer…'' Cristina began to say.

''What?'' She replied.

''Get some sleep. You look exhausted'' And with that, Cristina headed towards the cafeteria, leaving Meredith alone with Derek. She thought about Cristina's sleep request and knew that it wasn't such a bad idea. She hadn't looked in the mirror over the past few days but knew it was bad. And sleeping in an uncomfortable chair instead of her bed at home didn't do anything good to her. But now knowing that Derek was gonna be okay eventually, she dared to close her eyes, if only for half an hour…

2 hours later Meredith awoke to the sight of Derek still sleeping peacefully. She stretched her arms and legs and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

''Mmmmm'' She mumbled, her voice still full of sleep. She grabbed her crutches and limped towards Derek. She said nothing for almost 5 minutes, just stroking his air and feeling the warmth of his skin against hers. Oh.. it felt so good to finally feel Derek's warmth. He'd been so cold over the past couple of days. His body finally managed to keep it warm on its own and it was like the most beautiful present of life. Her Derek, her husband, alive and warm.

She remembered the times around Christmas when he was so happy and cheery. Christmas always made him happier than ever and she savored every minute of being with him, warm and cuddled on the bank together, unfolding christmas presents. And when she woke up on christmas morning she could smell the smell of French toast. He was perfect in every way imaginable and she couldn't think of ever losing him.

And now he lay there in a CICU bed, hooked up to almost every monitor and machine possible including the most humiliating machine ever for a person who has as big as an ego as Derek's. The ventilator. She can still remember the time when a 16-year old boy was being brought into the E.R with respiratory distress and was being hooked up to a ventilator for almost 2 weeks. Derek has been for 5 days right now but she was glad that he was only awake for a few times every day and she desperately hoped that the amount of drugs he's been given will erase all memories he has of breathing through a straw.

Suddenly a small grunt was heard and Meredith jolted out of her thoughts.

''Oh Derek'' She said, and a lone tear escaped her eyes. But this time it was out of happiness and it came with a small smile.

''I have good news'' She said and pushed the chair closer to the bed so she could sit since her arms were bothering her as a result of the crutches.

''Teddy and Cristina have reviewed your lab results and they said that if your oxygen levels remain this stable, they will try and get you off the ventilator this evening''

Derek's eyes said everything and Meredith gave him a kiss on the cheek. ''Good news huh!'' She said, and a soft giggle was heard.

''Oee'' She said, and grabbed her vibrating phone out of her pocket. It was a text of Cristina. _'I'm going home with Owen now to catch up on some food and taking a decent shower. Owen said he will come by to see Derek when he's done eating, showering and __**sleeping**__. Bye Mer'_

Meredith giggled and knew that Cristina's sleeping affection was only to impress the other residents. But she knew that Cristina was also going to catch up on some sleep and she never made any attempt to tell the others that. 'The Twisted Sisters' have to stick together after all, right?.

When Meredith's giggle reached Derek's ears, he was smiling with his eyes. He was so happy to see that his wife was holding up so good, and the fact that he was going to be off the ventilator this evening made this day even greater. He was finally gonna be able to talk to his wife again and it felt good…

When the clock on the wall showed 7PM Derek began getting impatient and Meredith didn't know what to do.

''They will be here soon Der, I promise'' She said softly while stroking his hair again. And Derek knew that she was getting impatient too. She always stroked his hair when she was nervous and she's been doing it for over half an hour now and it worried him. But he couldn't say something god damn it. He couldn't reassure her and tell her it was gonna be okay. Sure he was getting impatient, but she was worrying too much and that only made him worry about her more. There was just no solution to this stupid problem and he couldn't bear that. He always fixed problems. Just the way he fixed broken brains. But now he just couldn't..

''I can go to the nurses' station down the hall and ask if they know when-''

But she was quickly interrupted when the door swung open and Teddy and Cristina walked into Derek's room, pushing a tray forward without saying a word.

They quickly looked over his vitals again and listened to his chest and when they noticed it was all good, they began preparing the tray.

''I know you know the procedure but I'm still gonna explain it so everything will be clear okay?'' Teddy said and looked over to Meredith who nodded in confirmation.

''Okay, I'm gonna take a hold of the tube and then I count to three. When I start counting you take a deep breath in okay? All the air you can muster. And when I get to three you need to breath out, and while you do that, I pull the tube out. You got that?'' asked.

Derek nodded in understanding.

''Okay, and when the tube will come out, your throat will be painful, but just try not to talk immediately okay because it will feel terrible. And we got your lung infection under control. But that doesn't mean your lungs are fully healed by now. You will still need help breathing when you're off the ventilator, so you get an oxygen mask to give your lungs the support they need''

Meredith looked at Derek and knew he was disappointed by this news. He knew his lungs were far from okay, but he hated the idea of wearing the oxygen mask. It was an unpleasant feeling which Derek knew all to good from the contagious patient he and were exposed to. But he had to be strong. He just has to pull through this so he can be with his wife on the couch watching her favorite movie again.

''We don't want to rush your recovery and neither would you I think'' said. She knew Derek was stubborn. She has heard too much stories about his ego and knew he would want everything too fast too soon. But it would be reckless, irresponsible and it may even be dangerous to his health and recovery.

''Of course not '' Meredith said. ''I will make sure of that''

Teddy nodded but didn't quite believe her. Meredith has been a patient just a few days ago and knew she must still be in some pain. And knowing Derek, he would worry. And worrying for a loved one is good, but Derek obviously worries too much and she's afraid that if Mer winds him up too much it can be dangerous for his health and when he's off the ventilator he obviously wants to talk and tell her everything that's been going on in his mind but the chances of a panic attack will rise when that happens. She needed to talk to Meredith again.

''Grey? Can I speak to you for a second?''

Derek glanced over to Teddy and the distress was once again clearly evident in his eyes. 'What.. what's happening?' he thought.

Meredith looked Derek in the eye and gave him a reassuring smile but Derek could see the distress and confusion in her eyes too.

''I will be back in just a second Der'' She said and kissed him on the forehead.

She followed Teddy out of the room and when the door closed, Meredith was the first to speak up.

''What's going on?'' She said. ''Is there something wrong with Derek? Are his vitals not good? He will still get off the ventilator today right?''

Meredith was clearly panicking but Teddy quickly spoke up. ''Of course he will . There's nothing with him physically… yet'' She said.

Meredith frowned, clearly confused. ''What…what do you mean?'' She said, still slightly panicked.

''I know Derek and I know you'' She began. ''I've heard a lot of stories about Derek and how much he worries, mostly about you. And that's not bad, but when he is this sick it is. I've also heard what happened in the woods and I.. I know how hard it must have been and I also know that you two couldn't talk about it yet because he's been on the ventilator since he was brought in. That means that when he's off the ventilator he will talk. And not only talk, but worry. And I'm afraid he will worry too much. And that combined with his.. well.. ego.. it can be dangerous for his health. I know he wants to get out of here, preferably yesterday and I'm just worried he will rush his recovery and that way endanger his own heal-''

''I will make sure he won't, really. I won't let anything happen to him again'' Meredith said.

''I know that but you have to be very careful with your words. You will do everything to make him comfortable, I know that. But sometimes… sometimes those things just happen and nobody can help it. Just… be careful okay''

''I will. I will make sure nothing happens to him'' She said.

''Okay, good'' She said. ''Let's get him off that damn machine'' Teddy said and Meredith nodded.

''Okay, Shepherd, you know the drill'' Teddy said.

Meredith grabbed Derek's hand and pressed her lips together. She prepared herself for what was to come. There was still a chance his lungs couldn't function without the help of the ventilator but she tried not to think about that. She just couldn't bear Derek being put on the ventilator again. She shook the thought out of her head and focused on Derek again.

Teddy disconnected the tube from the breathing machine and took a hold of the tube.

''Okay, deep breath in. One..two..three!'' Derek blew out all the air he had mustered and began to cough violently when the tube was pulled out.

Meredith supported his back while Teddy grabbed the oxygen mask and strapped it over his face. She turned the oxygen flow up high and the fog of breathing out could be seen.

Teddy glanced over to the several monitors displaying Derek's vitals and noticed it was all stable. She then listened to his breath sounds and those were good too.

''Vitals and breath sounds are all stable. I will leave the two of you alone right now. I will be back in about an hour'' She said, smiling.

''Thank you '' Meredith said.

Altman smiled and gave a quick nod before pulling the tray out of the room and making her way into the hallway to check up on other cardiac patients…

''M..mer'' He croaked. His voice hoarse from the intubation.

''Oh, Derek'' She said, and leaned in to give him a long kiss on the lips. She was finally being able to kiss him on the lips and it felt like the biggest present she's ever had in her life.

''I..m ok'' He managed to croak out but his voice punished him immediately and the sound of a heartbreaking cough filled the room.

Meredith immediately supported his back again and the coughing fit subsided.

''You okay, Der?'' She said and when she saw his color returning a bit she took a seat in the uncomfortable chair. Her leg was still bothering her sometimes and she couldn't stand on her feet for hours on end.

''I'm ok..mer'' He said and reached out for the small cup of water. The fluid felt good for his hurting throat and he was glad he was finally off the ventilator.

''Mer… you okay? y…our leg? Any pa..in?'' He said in between breaths.

''I'm fine Der. It's you I'm worried about'' She said. Her eyes displaying sadness and Derek couldn't help but think she was lying about how she really felt. The word 'fine' said enough.

''It's all..my.. fault.. you..'' He said. ''If…if I had..just..check..checked the..weat..her before..we left..this we wouldn't…be in this..pos..position right now''

When Derek uttered those words all kind of alarm bells began ringing in her head and she knew she had to stop blaming himself for this before… before it was too late. Teddy's words played over and over in her head making her almost dizzy.

She rose to her feet, grabbed her crutches and limped over to his bedside.

''Derek!'' She said in a tone that even scared herself. ''Don't do this. Don't blame yourself when I'm the only one at fault for this. I'm the reason you're laying here in this hospital bed. I should've-''

''No Mer!'' Derek said, raising his voice, but it only made his throat hurt even more and he knew he had to stop raising his voice. He was barely off the ventilator and he wasn't even allowed to talk much let alone raising his voice. ''This..is..no..t you're…fau..lt''

''Yes it is!'' She said. And she was so caught up in the conversation that she completely forget what Teddy had told her.

''No it isn't Mer!'' He said and let out a small groan when his throat began protesting violently. He grabbed his throat with his good hand and rubbed it, hoping to give him some relief. ''And..can we just pl..ease sttop talking about it. I..I don't feel…like talk..ing now…''

It was then that Meredith noticed Derek's discomfort. His eyes were glassy and bits of sweat were forming on his forehead. He was clearly overdoing things.

''Derek?'' She asked quietly. ''What's wrong? Please tell me Derek? Do I need to page Teddy?'' She was on the verge of panicking again and his composure was worrying her.

She began pacing immediately and Derek was beginning to get really worried.

''I'm fine..Mer. Just a bit tired'' He said, and tried to get into a sitting position to reach for her hand but was met with a sharp pain on the right side of his chest and he let out a loud groan.

Meredith shot up immediately and made her way over to his bedside. ''Are you okay Der? Are you.. I should.. I should page Teddy… I'' She was clearly panicking and all her medical knowledge was gone in an instant.

''I…I'm okay Mer.. just..nee…d a minute'' He said in between gasps. But in fact, he was lying. He was feeling like crap. Everything hurt and he just wanted to sleep. But he couldn't. The sharp pain on the right side of his chest made it impossible and on top of that the simple act of breathing felt like a huge effort. He knew something was clearly wrong but he didn't want to worry Meredith. She's been through enough already and maybe if he calmed down a bit, the pain wouldn't be that bad. But after a few seconds of trying to calm down, the pain intensified and he now had to gasp for air.

''Derek?'' She began, but was cut off when Derek's pulse-ox meter began screaming in alarm, signaling a huge decline in Derek's oxygen levels.

''DEREK!'' She screamed, and pushed the nurses' button immediately.

''Derek! Hold on! Please hold on Derek! Help is coming!'' She said panicked and screamed for help again. Time seemed to stop and a few seconds later an agonizing scream filled the CICU room when Derek's eyes fluttered shut and the world around him went black.


	17. Chapter 17

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 17! I'm happy and proud that I updated quite early. I said in my previous author's note that I would update around late November. But despite my exams I managed to squeeze in some writing time for this chapter! __J__ You will all finally get to know what's wrong with Derek ;) _

_So.. I hope you will all enjoy reading this chapter and let me know what you thought of it! _

_REVIEW's are much appreciated. Always. _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 17: No shame for complicated feelings**

_''Derek! Hold on! Please hold on Derek! Help is coming!'' She said panicked and screamed for help again. Time seemed to stop and a few seconds later an agonizing scream filled the CICU room when Derek's eyes fluttered shut and the world around him went black. _

''What happened!'' Teddy screamed, running into the room where a loud beeping filled the room along with Meredith's desperate screams for help.

''I..I was worried and he..he noticed and wanted to reassure me but I..I didn't notice that he was trying to reach out to hold my hand and then.. then I heard a loud groan and saw him with his eyes closed, clutching the right side of his chest. And… and then the trouble breathing started and the O2 monitor started beeping and he passed..passed out.. and I-''

She started sobbing heavily and a nurse helped her to a chair in case she would pass out.

Teddy watched the monitors closely and bend over to feel for a pulse. ''Derek!'' She said loudly. But when she got no response she shouted orders to the nurse who grabbed an oxygen mask and strapped it to his face. She turned up the oxygen flow high and Teddy watched with concerned eyes to the monitors to see if anything changed.

''You said he started having trouble breathing after he tried to grab your hand?'' Teddy asked.

''Yes'' Meredith said with watery eyes. She clutched the armrest of her chair so hard it hurt. But it didn't matter. In fact it was kind of soothing. The emotional pain she was experiencing right now was too much and the physical pain right now was welcoming. She just couldn't think of the possibility of losing Derek.

Teddy bend over again and examined Derek's right side of his chest and pulled out her stethoscope to check his breath sounds.

When Meredith saw Teddy's concerned look she started sobbing again and Teddy knew she had to get out of here.

''Please, get her out of her now!'' Teddy screamed, and the nurse tried to get Meredith to stand up but she protested heavily and clutched the armrest even harder.

''NO!'' She screamed. ''DEREK!''

Teddy was running out of options and she knew that Meredith wasn't going to leave this room until she was sure Derek was safe. So she had to use the last option available and though she didn't like the idea of it, she had no choice.

''Okay, sedate her!'' She screamed above the sobbing and the constant beeping of the monitors.

''NO!'' Meredith screamed. ''DEREK! I.. I need him.. DER-'' But before she got to finish her sentence, her eyelids fluttered shut and with the help of 2 more nurses they got her into a wheelchair and wheeled her out of Derek's room.

And only a few seconds later Cristina came running into the room.

''What the h-''

''A rib must have punctured his right lung causing a leak which has lead to a pneumothorax'' Teddy rattled off and looked at Cristina with concern.

Cristina made her way towards Derek's bed and said: ''How? How did we miss that?'' She asked panicked.

''I don't know Yang!'' Teddy said irritated while disconnecting all the wires on monitors to move him to a trauma room. ''But we need to move him now!'' She said and wheeled Derek out of the room.

''Hold the elevator!'' She screamed and hurried down the corridor.

''Page Bailey and Webber'' She said to Cristina who had to do her best to try and control her emotions.

When the elevator reached its destination she saw Richard and Bailey walking towards them with panic evidence in their eyes.

''What happened!'' Richard said and looked at Derek whose eyes were closed. A creepy shade of white covering his usual confident and healthy body.

''He started having trouble breathing when he tried to reach Meredith's hand but failed. I think a rib must have punctured his right long causing a leak which has led to a pneumothorax. Oxygen is in the 70's and failing. We need to intubate right now!'' Teddy said while hurrying off to the trauma room.

''Okay, on one, two, three'' Bailey said and the three of them moved Derek onto the gurney where they connected all the monitors and wires again. The beeping sound of the O2 meter still eerily present.

''ET tube size 8,5 now!'' Teddy screamed and looked at the monitors with great concern. She then inserted the tube and connected it to the ventilator.

''Pulse ox is coming up a bit'' Teddy said and breathed a sigh of relief.

''Okay, almost… almost'' Bailey said while inserting the chest tube into his right lung.

''Done!'' She said and they all looked at the monitors in relief when Derek's pulse ox reached 93 and his heart rate slowed down a bit.

''Why?'' Bailey said, sadness and disbelief contorting her features. ''What did he do wrong in this world?''

Richard made his way over to Bailey and laid a protective hand on her shoulder. ''Sometimes these things just happen. We just need to accept it and try the best we can'' He said, but his eyes spoke differently. Everyone in the room could feel the tension and sadness but no one could make it go away. There was just no way to explain it. They just had to accept it and move on. But moving on is the part no one can ever give a place to in his heart…

Cristina was barely a second into Meredith's room when she heard a soft groan coming from what only could be her person. She sat down in the chair next to the bed and watched when Meredith slowly opened her eyes.

''Mmmm'' Was the first sound filling the room. She tried to rub the sleep out of her eyes but was met with a dull ache in her left arm. It took her eyes a few seconds to locate where the ache was coming from but when she noticed, she suddenly remembered why she was laying here in this bed and started to panic.

''What… how.. Derek…where's Derek!'' She was saying, while fumbling to get the IV out of her arm.

''No Mer, that needs to stay in!'' Cristina said and sprung into action. ''Do you remember why you're lying here?''

'That's a stupid question, of course she remembers why she's laying here, otherwise she wouldn't protest this much' Cristina thought and tried to calm Meredith down enough so that she wouldn't pull the IV out.

''I..I need to see Derek! He's… I don't even know how he is…'' Meredith began rambling. ''Oh my God, what if.. what if he's dead! I need to see him!''

''Mer!'' Cristina began saying but Meredith was too much into her own world right now to even notice Cristina.

''I need Derek, I need to see him'' Meredith said panicked.

Mer!'' Cristina said, raising her voice high enough so that Meredith had no choice than to listen to her. But it still didn't quit the ramble and Cristina was getting impatient.

''MER!'' She finally screamed. And this time she succeeded. Meredith turned her head to see Cristina sitting there, concern clearly evident in her person's eyes and she couldn't do anything but stay silent. She rarely saw her person this way and knew that whatever raised her concern had to be serious.

''Mer'' Cristina tried to say but you could clearly hear a quiver in her voice. Suggesting emotional value behind her words.

''Derek is back in his room… he..he had a pneumothorax as a result of a broken rib puncturing his right lung and we had.. we had a hard time steadying his oxygen levels so we had no other choice than to intubate him.'' Cristina said, having a hard time to keep her tears at bay.

''But he's..he's gonna be okay right?'' Meredith said hopefully, not wanting to think the unbearable.

''Cristina?'' She said hesitated when she got no answer. Tears already starting to cloud her vision.

''What!'' Cristina jumped up, being pulled out of her thoughts. ''I'm sorry Mer what were you saying? I was.. in thought and..''

Meredith stared at Cristina and noticed her weird behavior but didn't pay further attention to it. She knew her person well and although she was interested to hear what was on her mind, she wouldn't want to pry in her person's private business.

''Derek's gonna be okay right?'' She repeated hesitantly, her voice obviously quivering.

''Yes'' Cristina said immediately and although it was supposed to be excellent news, she wasn't quite convinced. Derek was already in worse shape when he was brought in and know this…She said to herself 'One step at a time. Don't over think so one important step could be missed'.

''How're you so sure Cristina?'' She questioned.

''He just has to Mer. He's McDreamy for God's sake. He will be contaminating the whole hospital with his McDreamy smile before you know it. I'm sure of that Mer. Now go get some rest so that when you wake up I can get you to Mr. McDreamy''

A small smile formed on Meredith's lips and she was happy to hear that that voice finally said Cristina again. And with the happy perspective in sight of finally seeing Derek again, alive and breathing, although with some help, she closed her eyes to let her exhausting body finally rest and succumb to the happy dreams she was sure she would get this time…

It was almost an hour later and Meredith was still sound asleep. Her exhausted body finally took the opportunity to get its well deserved rest and Cristina was pacing the hallways. Her head wasn't focused on work right now so she was told to be with Meredith and support her where needed.

So that was what she was gonna do. But to be honest, it was hard supporting her person in difficult times. She was used to Meredith being dark and twisty but feeling the emotional pain herself was scaring her and she didn't know what to do with it.

Derek was the one person she actually didn't like. He is arrogant and has an ego you don't want to know about. But over the years she slowly got used to him being around and though she still doesn't like him that much, she feels compassion for him in bad times and these past few days hit her hard.

Her feet kept moving with no direction to go and before she knew it she was standing in front of Derek's CICU room.

She stared inside and what she saw broke her heart. He was as pale as the sheet and numerous tubes were snaking out from under the sheet. Each with its destination. And from the regular rhythm of his beating heart was the only thing you could see that it was indeed a human being lying in the bed.

It was cruel. How could he have been so unlucky. There were numerous good outcomes he could've had. If he hadn't been so sick the week before, the possibility of getting double pneumonia wasn't that big and he would practically be fine right now.

The world can be cruel sometimes…

''Yang!'' A voice called and Cristina turned her head to the left to see Mark Sloan walking towards her.

''Hi'' She said and Mark made a face. 'What's going on?' he thought. 'When does Cristina Yang ever say hi to anyone?' It honestly scared him and he didn't know how to react.

Then, Cristina stared into Derek's room again and Mark followed her gaze. What he saw shocked him to the bone and he let out a gasp.

''What the hell!'' Mark practically screamed and asked Cristina what was going on.

''Oh, I thought you had already heard..'' She said and looked at Derek once again before looking Mark straight in the eyes.

''A rub punctured his right lung which caused a leak and lead to a pneumothorax. We had no other choice than to intubate him..'' She said sadly and saw the immediate change in Mark's features. His eyes were getting wet and he had to do everything to keep them at bay. It physically hurt to see his best friend, his brother so vulnerable and he didn't know what to think or what to do anymore.

''FUCK!'' He screamed and slammed his fist into the wall causing a few cracks. ''Shit'' He said and grabbed his hand which was already starting to swell.

''You moron'' Cristina said and tried to grab his injured hand to assess the damage but Mark immediately pulled back.

''Don't touch God's hands!'' He said hostile. But then a smirk appeared on his face.

''Whatever'' Cristina shrugged and stared at Derek's broken body again.

Mark's attitude disappeared immediately when he saw Cristina's changed behavior and wondered why she was so emotionally involved with Derek. 'They practically hate each other' He thought. But he didn't have the energy or the time to think about that. His brother was hurt and that was his first priority.

When Cristina saw Mark after a few minutes still staring intently at Derek she knew what to do.

''You can go inside if you want. Meredith is probably still asleep and I think some company will be nice for him, even when's not awake''

''Thanks'' Mark said and goes inside.

''Hey buddy'' He said when he walked in and sat down on the provided chair for the patient visitors.

''You know these chairs suck right?'' He said, and chuckled lightly. ''I bet you're laughing at me now in your sleep''

Then his eyes fixed on all the tubes than ran out of Derek's body and he had to take a deep breath to steady his breathing. As a doctor, a surgeon, he was around sick people all the time but seeing a loved one as a patient always made you think about how life can be wonderful and fantastic one minute, and be a bitch the next. It was just not fair. He was a health nut, always made sure his body was looked after by eating good, going for a jog or the gym and sleep at regular times. He was the kind of person you wouldn't expect in this position and that made this even more hard to cope with.

''And bud, I'm sure you will get through all this crap. You're my brother and brothers of Mark Sloan always pull through you know''

''And… I just can't imagine my life without you man. We grew up together, and even though we're not related I consider you my brother. We were raised by the same family. We went through all the crap together and… we..we should be together now, talking about baseball and girls.. although you have Meredith now. But we can look together right?'' He said, and smiled slightly. I normal situations his smile would be as big as a child unfolding its favorite surprise and in normal situation he would laugh so hard his cheeks hurt. And Derek would laugh along. But now… now he couldn't even talk, couldn't even breath on his and that was just…not fair. Not fair at all. And the problem everyone always struggles with is that you can't do anything but wait and hope for the best. It's now he realizes what kind of crap he always says to patient's families. Hope and wait for the best. It was true, mostly. But for a lot of people it only meant more frustration. Will his loved one survive or die. Will he or she be whole and healed after the damage's been done. Or will it always leave scars… that are the questions no one can ever give an answer to….

''Do you remember when we were 8 years old and had hid Amelia's stuffed teddy bear?'' Mark said and smiled slightly again. ''We put it in the microwave and I was about to press start when mom came home. Oh what was she mad. I didn't understand it at the time but we could have set the whole house on fire if she didn't walk in on time''

''Good old times..'' He said, and a few tears escaped Mark's eyes, but he didn't do anything to hide them. He was proud of his brother and everyone can know that.

Exactly at that time Cristina walked by and saw Mark's tears. But instead of laughing, she did something no one would've ever expected of her. A genuine smile formed on her lips and to be honest, she was proud of Mark for showing his emotional side. No one have ever seen his other side and just a few days ago she would've laughed. She would've laughed so hard and probably would've taken a picture to show it to everyone. The great Mark Sloan a cry baby. But now she had experienced the other side to and knew what kind of feelings were involved. It was absolutely no joke and this time, this time she will make sure no one will ever know about Mark Sloan's tears…


	18. Chapter 18

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 18! _

_I hope you all enjoy reading it of course but first I'd like to ask you all if you either want a time-jump after chapter 19 or another bunch of chapters. If you all prefer a time-jump after chapter 19 it would be like 4 or 6 weeks after the end of chapter 19. If you all prefer another bunch of chapters then I will do that :p _

_So then you can expect like 3 more chapters after this one. I already have the end planned in my head. So sorry guys but the end is near :( _

_But. that doesn't mean the angst will die down from now on :p. There's still a lot going on and you will see as soon as you read this chapter ;) _

_Enjoy reading and please REVIEW afterwards! I'd love to hear from you guys! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 18: Broken friendships**

_Exactly at that time Cristina walked by and saw Mark's tears. But instead of laughing, she did something __no one would've ever expected of her. A genuine smile formed on her lips and to be honest, she was proud of Mark for showing his emotional side. No one have ever seen his other side and just a few days ago she would've laughed. She would've laughed so hard and probably would've taken a picture to show it to everyone. The great Mark Sloan a cry baby. But now she had experienced the other side and knew what kind of feelings were involved. It was absolutely no joke and this time, this time she will make sure no one will ever know about Mark Sloan's tears._

It was just after 5 PM. Derek has been on the ventilator for 18 hours now and Meredith was trying her hardest to not cry. Just 19 hours ago they were fine. He was fine. Healing. And then all of a sudden, in the mere space of a minute, that all changed drastically. He was put back on the ventilator and the endless waiting started its cycle again. Your whole day gets determined by the clock on the wall showing how long you've been sleeping, gone out for a walk, eating and most of all, worrying. It is the worry that gets you the most. Time seems to slow down and the only thing you can do is, of course, waiting…

''I can still remember walking through that door and sitting at the bar, trying to drown myself in Tequila. I was new in town and didn't know anyone except the lady of the supermarket. That's when you walked into the bar Derek and thought you had a chance by sitting next to me with your beautifully red shirt and cocky arrogance. But from that moment I couldn't deny I felt something I hadn't felt before and then I knew what that feeling could mean. It was scary at first Derek. I was scared. It was a strange but pleasant feeling and I knew it wasn't gonna go away unless I did something with it .So I just pretended I wasn't interested in you. I thought it was easy at first but it wasn't Derek and sometimes I can still feel the feeling I got when you turned your head in my direction and smiled politely. I was amazed by your eyes and smile and could barely keep my face straight. You had me there already Derek'' She said and smiled at the beautiful memory that still protrudes her brain every now and then.

''And you probably think I'm telling you this because you won't remember when you wake up and you're right. That's true'' She said and smiled jokingly. ''I just hope you will show me your beautiful eyes real soon because I can't take it anymore Derek. You're my everything. When you die, I die''

At that moment Teddy walked into the room and Meredith sprung up at the sound of someone clearing her throat and turned her head to see Teddy standing there.

''Oh sorry, I was deep in thought and didn't hear you coming in''

''Oh that's alright Grey. I'm just here to see how he's doing and see if we can get him of the ventilator'' She said and Meredith's eyes widened at the words coming out of Teddy's mouth.

''Really?'' Meredith said. Her mouth wide open in utter shock and sheer happiness. She hadn't expected Derek to be taken off the ventilator till tomorrow evening but she was too busy worrying that she didn't quite pay attention.

''Really'' Altman said and checked Derek's blood pressure and sats.

''His vitals are stable and showing progress since last night so I think we will be able to try and take him off the ventilator in just a few hours'' Teddy said.

''That's great!'' Meredith almost shouted and awkwardly stood up to hug Teddy.

''Yes it is'' Teddy said and smiled genuinely. ''The usage percentage on the ventilator dropped from 40% to 30% overnight and I will lower it to 20% now and see how that goes. If all goes well we will do the extubation early tonight''

Meredith nodded and limped back to her seat to take Derek's hand again.

''Did you hear that Der?'' She smiled heartedly and tears of happiness sprung her eyes. The kind of tears she will always welcome with open arms. The kind of tears she hadn't felt in ages. And it felt amazing…

The clock on the wall showed 7PM and it was just starting to glimmer outside. Teddy could be walking in any minute and Meredith was starting to get nervous. Teddy had said early evening and even though it was early evening right now she was getting impatient. The sooner Derek gets off the ventilator the better.

And when she saw her Derek laying there, looking like he's just asleep if you didn't see the tube in place you would think he gets all the rest possible. But the thing is, you don't get any rest in hospitals. Nurses and doctors protruding the hallways 24 hours a day. They come to check in on you every 2 hours and poking you if needed. Hospitals are just not meant for rest and rest is what Derek needed. She just had to make sure he gets all the rest he can get so he can get on the road to recovery..

Barely 15 minutes later Teddy came into the room, pushing a tray with instruments towards the bed.

''Okay'' She began while prepping the instruments. ''Grey, has he been awake when I left this afternoon?''

''Yes, but only for about half a minute. He wasn't confused when he was awake or anything concerning his health. He was lucid at all times'' She said. The doctor in her taking over again.

''Good'' Altman said. ''Okay, let's get started''

Meredith grabbed her crutches and made space for Teddy who was checking his blood pressure and sats to see if any changes had been coming up concerning his health. When it was all clear she dropped the usage percentage of the ventilator to 10% and made her way to the top of the bed while signaling Meredith to wake up Derek.

''Derek'' She said softly. ''Der, you have to wake up now okay'' She said when he still showed no sign of waking up. ''Derek'' She said again and began to nudge him lightly.

Just when Meredith and Teddy began getting worried, he slowly opened his eyes.

''Hi there'' Meredith said softly and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

''You ready to get off the ventilator?'' She questioned her sentence. But she already knew the answers to that one. 'I can't wait'. It was the one sentence he always said whether they were going home from a long day at work or a vacation. That sentence was Derek and when he couldn't verbally say it he always made a way to say it nonetheless. His eyes. His eyes always spoke before the sentence was said and that made Derek Derek. And she couldn't wait till this was all over and he could finally get the rest he needed. The rest they both needed…

''You ready for this Shepherd?'' Teddy asked.

Derek nodded firmly and Meredith took Derek's hand in hers, holding it tight.

''Okay, you know the drill. I count to three and when I get to three, breath out all the air you can muster okay?'' Teddy said.

Derek nodded in understanding and closed his eyes.

Teddy made her way towards the machine and disconnected it from the tube. She took a hold of the tube and counted slowly. ''One….two….three'' And with one movement the tube was being pulled out of Derek's throat with a coughing fit for that followed afterwards.

Teddy immediately grabbed the O2 mask and strapped it to Derek's face.

''Take slow deep breaths Shepherd'' She said and eyed the monitors for any drastic changes.

''It's okay Der. Slow deep breaths'' Meredith said while stroking his hair.

Tears were starting to fall from Derek's eyes and Meredith's heart broke. He was in so much pain and they couldn't do anything more than they had already done.

''I know it hurts. It will stop soon Der'' She promised him. But she didn't know if she could keep her promise and that made it all worse. Him seeing in so much pain was breaking her heart and she couldn't do more than to wait and see it pass.

''Good... Good... Slow deep breaths'' Altman instructed.

Suddenly the shrieking sound of a pager was heard and Teddy grabbed her pager '911 ER'

''Okay, I have to go now, I will check on you later Shepherd. You're doing well, keep up the good work'' She said smiling and left the room.

''L…ove…you'' Derek forced his throat.

''Shhhh'' Meredith immediately replied. ''Don't talk right now okay, give your throat the time to adapt''

Derek managed a small smile and Meredith was almost sure how that smile came up his face and she had to smile at the thought of it. He always smiled when she was being overprotective and she found it adorable.

Then she noticed his eyelids were slowly drooping.

''You can go back to sleep Der. I know you're tired. It's been an exhausting day and you need all the rest you can get'' She said and stroked his hair again.

When his eyes were almost closed and he would succumb to sleep he made a hoarse sound in his throat which caught Meredith's attention.

''What..whats.. wrong!'' She asked in blind panic.

''Kiss'' Was the hoarse sound coming from his lips and tears immediately sprung her eyes.

''Oh Derek..'' She said and leaned forward to give him a kiss on his lips. ''I love you''

''Love…you...to'' He managed, and in a blink of an eye ,his eyelids closed and he was surrendered by sleep. The sleep that would get him on the road to recovery..

Almost 45 minutes later the sound of someone knocking on the door was heard and Cristina and Owen made their appearance with a bouquet of flowers.

''Hey man'' Owen said. ''Feeling a bit better?'' He asked, although he knew that was far from the truth. But isn't that what people always ask when you come into someone's room who's sick or has been sick. It's just one of those questions people ask when they don't know how to react in such situations.

''I'm…get..ting..there'' Derek answered.

''Good'' Owen replied and turned around to face Cristina who was still holding the bouquet of flowers in her hand.

He walked over to where Cristina was standing and cleared his throat. ''Well.. Uhm.. I'm not very good at giving speeches but I can give it a try'' He said and let out an awkward giggle that made everyone in the room laugh. His cheeks flushed red and he had to clear his throat again in order to finish his speech. ''Okay, uhm.. I know the past few days have been hard for the both of you and after what happened yesterday… uhmm I just thought flowers would give this room a bit of color. We have to do something about all these white walls Shepherd. It's depressing'' Owen said jokingly and small giggles and laughter filled the room and all the worries were forgotten for a moment, being replaced by the warmth of their amazing friends...

Just moments after the laughter died down, another knock was heard and Mark made its way into the room. All the eyes were immediately directed to the white cast that sat securely on Mark's right arm and hand.

''What..the hell..did…you..do..now'' Derek croaked out without showing any interest in how his former friend got hurt.

''Long story man, long story'' Mark replied cheerfully. But deep down, in the back of his mind he felt hurt by Derek's lack of emotion towards him. Like he just didn't him. And all the pain of how he screwed up their friendship repeated it's daily circle. No one besides Meredith knows how he really feels about their broken friendship and he wanted to stay it that way. He was never the guy of showing his emotions towards people, even the people he cares for or the people who care for him. He was always known as the tough guy. The guy who shrugs off problems like it's a feather. But when he got home from a long night out and the mask was off, he wasn't any of that tough guy he was just minutes ago. When the mask was off, you saw the real Mark. The Mark with emotions. The guy who does have a heart and really does care for the people he loves. He was just not the guy of showing them and after all those years he thought now was the right time to change that.

Cristina, the only one who knew how it happened, kept her mouth shut. They both have been showing the side they never ever talk about and always pretended they never even had that side. But now, in her and his best interest, they kept their mouths shut. Hoping that piece of viable information stays shut forever.

Meredith, the only one who knew how hurt Mark was by his and Derek's broken friendship, was already making up a plan to get the two of them to talk and restore the bond she knew was still viable enough to try. It would be good for the two of them if they could talk the way they used to talk to each other. And she knew that the both of them held a lot of their problems inside of them since they broke. She just had to figure out how to restore that bond…

''Hey Mer!'' Cristina practically yelled and pulled all the attention towards her.

''Let's go grab some real food from the cafeteria. I'm starving. And by your looks, I think you too haven't eaten in a while. Or at least not real-food'' She said and tried to reach for Meredith's arm.

''No Cristina!'' Meredith protested. ''I did eat today and I'm not leaving Derek''

''Mer, you need to clear your head. Come with me'' Cristina said, paying no interest in what Meredith wanted.

''No Cristina! I'm not leaving Derek and you can ask someone else to go with you. I'm sure someone else wants to go with you'' She explained.

''Mer..'' Cristina said impatiently. ''Just come with me, Derek is not going anywhere anyways so being with me for an hour won't kill him. Am I right McDreamy? Tell her you won't die when we walk out of this door''

''Cristina…'' Meredith said irritated. ''I said no, and leave Derek out of this''

''Mer,..Cristina's..right'' Derek croaked out. ''You..need…to..eat..You have…been...in this..room all day..and…I..will..be asleep...anyways.. so''

''See'' Cristina said. ''Listen to your husband. He's right this time. He will be asleep most of the time so coming with me won't make you miss out on all the fun you two always seem to have''

Meredith rolled her eyes at Cristina's remark but at the same time contemplated going to the cafeteria. She indeed hadn't eaten since yesterday and she was starting to crave some real food. Maybe Cristina's was right and she should just go with her. Clearing her head and eating some real food wasn't a bad idea and Derek could catch up on some sleep in the mean time.

''But..'' Meredith hesitated. ''You will be okay right Der?'' She asked him and Derek nodded immediately. ''Of course.. I will..Mer ''

''Okay then'' Meredith said and a wide smile appeared on Cristina's face.

''Wait'' Mark suddenly said. ''I can keep an eye on him when you're gone if you want to''

''Yeah tha-''

''No'' Derek immediately interrupted and looked Mark right in the eye. ''I don't… need.…a babysitter and I… don't need YOU.. of all people… to… babysit me''

Derek's harsh words shocked him to the bone and he couldn't bring out anything to say.

''I…I..'' Mark stuttered.

But before Meredith could even say something, he fled out of the room, leaving everyone behind in a awkward silence..


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 19. Sorry for the delay but I had my first and big writer's blog which delayed the story for almost 2 weeks. But fortunately I had the spirit today and typed almost the whole chapter in one day. _

_So I hope you guys enjoy reading this chapter! I intend on writing two more chapters before this story ends so please give me your thoughts on this story. I only had 1 review for chapter 18 and it would be a great Christmas present if my story reaches the 100st review! I would be over the moon if that happens but only you guys can realize that present. _

_For now, I can only say: ENJOY! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 19: Wisdom comes with age**

_But before Meredith could even say something, he fled out of the room, leaving everyone behind in a awkward silence.._

Everyone in the room was staring at the now open door Mark had disappeared through just a few seconds ago. Their mouths slightly hung open. Shock controlling their bodies.

It was Owen who was the first to speak up after what seemed like an eternity.

''Uhm.. I..I have to go see a patient now..'' He said and turned around to face Derek. ''Get better soon man'' And with one last nod and a forced smile, he quickly walked out of the room. Not wanting to share in the awkward silence that hung like a dark cloud above all of them in the room, waiting for hell to break loose.

''Well.. that was awkward'' Cristina said frowning, and looked over at Meredith whom was looking at her like she had just grown three heads. Shock contorting her features.

''Oh'' Cristina said suddenly when she noticed she was still holding the bouquet of flowers in her hand. Her face displaying all kind of disgusted features towards it.

''Here, they stink'' She said, and more pushed than handed the flowers to Meredith who still couldn't comprehend what had just happened between Derek and Mark.

''Mer?'' Cristina frowned when she saw that Meredith was now staring intently at the bouquet of flowers she had just pushed into her hands.

''Huh?'' Meredith said, spoke for the first time after the awkward situation happened right in front of her friends and colleagues.

She looked up and saw Cristina frowning at her, her features telling her she had to give Cristina more than just a barely audible mumble. But the thing was, she didn't feel like talking. She was still busy digesting all what had just happened and saw her plan in getting Mark and Derek 'together' shattering into tiny pieces, unable to find each piece back and make it complete.

''Cristina, I just don't feel like talking now okay'' She sighed, and looked at her person who had absolutely no shock on her features whatsoever. But then she knew that she and Mark didn't get along well. It was no exception. Cristina didn't show her emotions in public. The only one who knew the real Cristina was she. That's why they could tell each other things or feelings without speaking the actual words.

''Oh, okay. That's okay too. I just go grab a coffee from the cafeteria'' She said and walked out of the room. She wanted to tell Meredith what happened in the helicopter but she couldn't. It was just too hard on her right now. The feelings were to complex and she knew Meredith was the only one who could understand, even though Owen was there when it all happened. Had seen her changed behavior. Had seen her cry…

''Derek…'' Meredith spoke softly, not wanting to upset Derek any more than she had already had.

''Mer…'' He sighed, and didn't look in her direction. ''I don't… wanna… talk about it''

''Derek, when DO you wanna talk about it then?'' She said frustrated. ''You never talk about how you feel. I know when you're upset and when I ask what's wrong you shrug and say it's no big deal. We need to tell each other when we feel down without any shame Derek. It's what people do when they're together. WE'RE together remember?''

Derek was shocked by her words. Shocked by the way they came out of that relatively small mouth of hers. Shocked because he knew she was right. They never talked when one another was feeling down. He himself would just go to bed and when he woke up, a new day was born. A day he was sure of could bring him happiness. But deep down he knew he had to face the truth eventually. Why not now? It would make his wife happy. It would be good for the two of them if they could talk about their feelings. It would bring the tension down to a minimum, and would make it more pleasant for the both of them to live. To live without the constant baggage on his shoulders.

''I…I… I know Mer. It's just so hard. I actually don't know even why I don't tell you such things . It's the most important thing in a relationship besides love. But I just… I just can't right now. I will, I'm sure of that, but it will take some time Mer…'' He said and looked down to stare at the sheet, his eyes watering. The control of his feelings lost. He didn't want to look up to face his wife and see her, he was sure of, disappointed or angry face. Not looking was just the better option right now.

Derek's words hit her hard and she didn't know what to do. He was finally trying to open up to her about his feelings and she hadn't expected that. At all. So the one thing she knew was right to do in this moment was supporting him. He was trying so hard and she didn't even notice he was beating himself up about it so much and she was starting to feel selfish…

''Derek'' She said again and limped her way over to his bed. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and raised his head slightly to reveal his face to her. What she saw broke her heart a little. He was crying. Really crying.

''Derek…'' She whispered, and reach out her hand to wipe a tear from his face but he turned his head in the other direction. Clearly not wanting her pity for him. He hated it when people treated him like a baby. He was being treated like a baby for over a week now and he was starting to feel like one now.

''Mer… I can't now okay. I.. I need some time'' He said.

''It's okay Der. I don't expect you to reveal all your darkest feelings right now because I want you to. Take your time. I'm not going anywhere'' She said and stroked a stray of hair out of his face.

''Yeah…'' He said and closed his eyes. Closing his eyes was such a relief for him these days. This way he could escape reality and just be Derek again. Not the sick and broken Derek in a hospital bed. Being poked and prodded by nurses every day.

''You can go to sleep if you want to. I'II be here when you wake up'' She said, and limped back to her seat again. The room was soon filled with silence again. The silence she was so desperately longing for. The only sound filling the room was the quiet, soothing noise of Derek's body succumbing to sleep. She would try to talk to Derek about what happened earlier when he had gotten some rest because she was sure it's not gonna be an easy conversation…

The clock on the wall showed 4:21 PM and it began to darken outside. The sky was slightly clouded and yet another beautiful warm day passed by without getting to enjoy those rare days in Seattle. The Seattle weather was one of changing constantly. One day all hell breaks loose outside and the other it's sunny and comfortable. He hadn't been outside for over a week and he was starting to hate this place. In those 8 days he hadn't even been out of bed. But from those 8 days he had only been awake during 4 of them. He knew he had to spend another few days in here but he wasn't looking forward to it. He had to laugh at his own words. I mean, who would?

A knock on the door put him out of his thoughts and he averted his eyes to the door.

''Hello, Dr. Shepherd '' Callie greeted cheerfully. But Derek sighed. He knew what was coming from this visit. Pain. More pain. Another thing he wasn't looking forward too. But hey, who would? He wasn't in such a good mood and Callie noticed.

''Is everything alright ?'' She said.

''Yeah…'' He more sighed than said. ''Just not having a good day''

''I can understand'' She replied and moved forward towards his bed.

''How's the pain in your wrist?'' She asked when she took a seat before reaching out to his heavily bandaged wrist.

He shrugged in reply and didn't look her in the eye. He was still so tired and he just wanted to go back to sleep. In his sleep, he didn't feel the excruciating amount of pain that was radiating from his wrist.

''Hmmm'' Callie replied and began examining his wrist. She knew he was lying about the amount of pain he was feeling but she wasn't going to push him into saying the truth. All his doctors knew in how much pain he must be and she was sure he was already drugged heavily for it so she let it go. Knowing that if the pain got to the point of unbearable he would ask for more medicine. At least that's what she hoped he would do because proper pain management would make his recovery much more easier…

''Mmmm'' She mumbled again. ''I'm gonna unwrap your wrist now, okay? Tell me if the pain becomes unbearable''

He nodded slowly and looked at his wrist closely. It was going to be the first time he would see his right wrist since 8 days and he had no idea how bad or how good it was looking. 'It must be bad' he thought since he hadn't felt such an excruciating amount of pain in his entire life.

He had broken his right wrist before when he was 10 years-old and fell out of tree Mark had coached him in. Mark had a bad influence on him and Carolyn noticed. She saw a change in her son's behavior since Mark moved into the Shepherd Household and considered bringing him back to his mom. She threatened him with it when they got into trouble again but never really meant it. She knew that she couldn't bring Marky back to his mother. If she did that, she was sure things would spiral out of control and she was afraid of never seeing him again...

It was then that he thought about what happened this morning. Really thought about what happened. How rude he was towards Mark, who only wanted to help him and Meredith out by sitting by his bedside so that Meredith could take a shower and catch up on some sleep since she was wearing himself out taking care for him.

He was an asshole. Mark, his brother, who he knew since they were 9-years-old was on the verge of crying this morning. And he had done that. He had done that to the man he could rely on since the day he moved into the Shepherd Household. He didn't deserve it this time. He deserved it 5 years ago when he had slept with his wife. But since this year, he saw a change in Mark. He was starting to actually care for the people surrounding him. Caring in a way of showing emotions. Emotions you couldn't point him at in his childhood. He was always the tough guy and seeing that guy nowadays was putting a genuine smile on his face. His brother didn't deserve this and he was gonna make sure he knew that…

''Shepherd?'' Callie asked for the third time when he wasn't replying.

''Huh what?'' He said and looked at Callie like he had seen a ghost.

''You seemed pretty far away from here'' She said and smiled slightly.

''Oh.. yeah..'' He said softly, averting his eyes to his exposed wrist. He gasped in shock when he saw his heavily swollen and discolored wrist.

Callie sighed and shifted her weight on the seat from one side to the other.

''Yeah…'' She sighed.

''Do you know when Meredith will be here?'' She asked right after. ''I think it's best if she's here too when I discuss the options since I don't know how much you will remember with the amount of drugs you've been given''

''Yeah… uhm.. she left and hour and a half ago to get something to eat and take a shower. So any minute I guess''

''Okay, I can wait'' She replied.

After what seemed like 10 minutes but were only 3 minutes, a knock on the door was heard and Meredith made her way into the room with a tray of food in her hands.

''I brought you somethi-''

''Oh, hey Callie'' She said. ''I..I just took a shower and something to eat. I hope I didn't miss something'''

''No, not at all'' Callie replied. ''We were actually waiting for you''

''What? For me? Is something wrong?'' She asked panicked and almost dropped the tray of food on the floor.

''No'' She said immediately. ''I just thought you wanted to be here for this. And since I don't know how much will remember with all the drugs he's been given I thought it was best to wait for you''

''Oh yes, of course'' She said and placed the tray on the small table beside his bedside before sitting in a chair on the other side of his bed, which was unfortunately uncomfortable either.

Callie cleared her throat and began speaking. ''As you both know and can see, there's a good amount of swelling and discoloring of the right wrist which indicates a fracture. We've X-rayed the wrist which already confirmed our suspicions. A distal radial fracture. Normally, I would give you a cast for about six weeks but the fall you made caused the bone to displace. If Cristina hadn't pushed it back, your arm wouldn't have survived. But fortunately, she did. However, you still need the surgery since your bone isn't in the exact place we want it to be.''

So.. what are the options we have?'' Meredith said nervously, holding Derek's good hand tightly into her own.

After Callie discussed all the options Meredith spoke up once again.

''So it's gonna be screws? You're gonna put three screws into Derek's wrist?''

She sounded scared. She knew that. But isn't that what a wife is supposed to be in this situation? She couldn't imagine how Derek would feel. He was after all the one who was going to undergo this surgery. His first surgery. They had talked about it yesterday since they both knew it was coming, but it didn't make it any easier. He was scared too and she knew it. The only difference? He did a very good job hiding it.

''Unfortunately, it's our only option'' Callie said, and looked from Meredith to Derek, noticing the hesitation.

''I know it's a lot to take in right now and I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to be a long and hard surgery and even a longer and harder recovery'' Both Meredith and Derek nodded in understanding and Callie resumed talking. ''Now, I heard it's gonna be your first surgery. I'm not here to scare you but it may be harder than you expect it to be. We don't know how you will react to the anesthesia or wake up from it and the fact that we couldn't take you into surgery sooner due to your double pneumonia has done some damage to your wrist although it stayed small. Another thing of concern is that we don't know how your lungs will react to the anesthesia until we've administered it. We will keep a close look at you during the surgery so don't worry too much okay? I will make sure you live to see another day''

Meredith and Callie both looked at Derek who nodded in understanding. They both knew he would worry but Meredith would try her hardest to get him to relax. His lungs were improving every day and both Cristina and Teddy had given the 'okay' for the surgery. Everything was looking good and if he got through the surgery without any major problems he could be home within 4 days. A happy sight they both looked forward through since day 1 in the hospital.

''Are there any other questions?'' Callie asked.

''No'' Both Derek and Meredith said after a few seconds of thinking.

''Okay'' Callie said and stood up. ''See you tomorrow morning then''

''Oh, and get a good night of sleep. If you can't sleep, ask for a sleeping pill. I want you as fresh as you can be in my OR tomorrow'' She said with a slight smile on her face.

''I will, thank you'' Derek replied and Callie walked out of the room, leaving the two of them together.

After a few seconds of silence Meredith said: ''Are you sure you're okay? For the surgery I mean. It.. It's only 15 hours away''

''I'm okay Mer'' He reassured her. ''It's soon, I know, but the longer we wait the greater the damage will get. I need a full functioning wrist and I trust Callie''

''I know Der but it's your first surgery. I'm scared'' She said, and a single tear escaped her eyes.

''Oh Mer.. come here'' He said and patted the bed for her to come lie next to him.

''Are you sure?'' She said again. ''I mean you're rib? It must hurt and and..-''

I'm okay Mer. It hurts. I'm not gonna lie about that, but lying next to me won't hurt me I promise''

Meredith hesitated for few seconds before slowly climbing into bed with him, mindful of his bandaged right side.

''Are you-''

''Sshh'' Derek whispered. ''Relax''

She had to smile at his words. She was supposed to be the one to get him to relax. Not the other way around. But she was glad nonetheless. She lying next to him didn't seem to cause him any more pain than he was already in and she was glad about that. She craved his body for so long and it felt good to feel his warmth. He didn't seem too nervous about tomorrow and that calmed her nerves down too.

When she was walking towards his room this afternoon after having showered she was preparing for a difficult conversation. But now he was having surgery tomorrow morning and he needed to be as relaxed as possible and that required sleeping. Starting about Mark would only result into him not sleeping and she didn't want to be responsible for something going wrong in the OR as a result of a lack of sleep. No. She would delay the conversation till after his surgery. They would've all the time to talk this through. To convince him that Mark didn't deserve the way he was acting towards him. He was even the one who saved her life. If it wasn't for Mark she possible wouldn't even be here. Derek needed to know how much Mark had grown over the past few years and she intended to tell him tomorrow. After his surgery…

For now, she was glad to finally be in his arms again and snuggled closer. She put a hand on his chest and strong, even, rhythm of his heartbeat soothed her and within seconds, she fell asleep. Just the way she wanted it to be. The way he wanted it to be. In each other's arms. Strong and safe. The thought of the surgery tomorrow morning being replaced by the happy thought of his wife asleep next to him. And before his eyelids closed, he took one last look at his beautiful wife before sleep brought him to the one place he wanted to be right now. At home with his wife...


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 20!_

_Sorry for the delay, it took me particularly longer to write this chapter than others because I wanted to discuss a lot of the problems in this chapter and I had no clue how to start this chapter or what words to use. But, I finally got it done and I'm quite happy with the outcome. I hope you will all be happy with this chapter either and get a good seat because this chapter is much longer than usual! _

_Hope you will all leave me a REVIEW after! It would be so, so, so awesome if this story got 100 reviews! It would mean a lot, really! Only you guys can make that happen so enjoy and please leave a review after! _

_Enjoy!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 20: Love in all its forms**

_For now, she was glad to finally be in his arms again and snuggled closer. She put a hand on his chest and strong, even, rhythm of his heartbeat soothed her and within seconds, she fell asleep. Just the way she wanted it to be. The way he wanted it to be. In each other's arms. Strong and safe. The thought of the surgery tomorrow morning being replaced by the happy thought of his wife asleep next to him. And before his eyelids closed, he took one last look at his beautiful wife before sleep brought him to the one place he so desperately wanted to be right now. At home with his wife..._

It was Friday, the day of his surgery and it was yet another beautiful summer day in Seattle. He sighed when he opened his eyes for the first time since 7 hours and looked outside. He had never had such a good night's sleep since he first was brought into the hospital and it was strange. Strange in a way that most people couldn't even sleep knowing they would go into surgery the next morning. But he could. He could because he knew how to make Meredith happy and he saw a change in her after the incident with Mark and she knew she was beating herself up about it. He know had the solution to bring the smile back on his wife's face and that couldn't make him happier. When Meredith was happy, he was. When that was the case, nothing else matters. Not the weather, and not even the prospect of going into surgery for the first time. A fairly risky surgery considered the circumstances of the past 9 days. It all didn't matter for him as long as Meredith was happy. And he knew how to make her happy…

A loud groan was suddenly heard and Derek chuckled slightly. Such a loud noise coming from such tiny lips. It brought a bright smile on his lips.

''Mmmmm'' Meredith groaned slightly again.

''Hey sleepyhead'' Derek said softly, smiling, while pressing his lips softly on her forehead.

''Mmmm'' Meredith groaned again only now adding her right arm into the mix and unconsciously hitting Derek in the face.

He laughed at her behavior and knew she was just waking up. He had to laugh at the memory of her waking up once and unconsciously hitting him till he was forced to get out of the bed to avoid getting hurt. Those good times. But the good memory was soon replaced by the thought of home. He wanted so desperately to go home. To sleep in their comfortable bed together. Not being poked and prodded by nurses during the night. But he knew that that reality wasn't going to happen for quite some days. After the surgery he would've to be in the hospital for another 2 days if there were no complications or problems during the surgery or the following 24 hours. He knew thinking about home right now was useless and only meant to upset him. He knew he should take this day by day. See how things go and think from that point. From that point to the next. But it's hard. So hard when you're the one who actually needs to take it step by step, day by day. Not the bystander telling you to. But he knew he should, he knew that would make Meredith happy and that automatically makes him happy too. Yes. He would do the step by step program and the first step was making it up with Mark, his brother.

He looked over at Meredith again who was still trying to wake up. He knew she had problems going to sleep and waking up since his hospital stay and he felt bad. He was the cause for her sleeping problems and he couldn't do a thing about it. The only thing he could do for Meredith was making it up with Mark and that was the one thing he could do.

''Der….'' Meredith said, her voice full of sleep.

Derek smiled heartedly and kissed her on the head again. ''Sleepyhead''

''I'm not'' Meredith said pouting.

''Yes you are'' He said softly, looking at her with full adoration.

Meredith chuckled and opened her eyes fully. The sight that met her was one to remember. There he was. Her McDreamy. He was back. The sparkling in his eyes was back and the Derek-y smile was present on his lips and she couldn't be happier in that moment.

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Her Derek was back. Her McDreamy. She had no idea as to what had happened to him in those mere 7 hours but she was glad with the result. The prospect of surgery was now for once not the big subject occupying her brain and that made her feel free. Her worries for his surgery pushed back far away in her brain since he seemed very relaxed for someone undergoing a fairly risky surgery in less than 2 hours.

''I love you'' She said suddenly when the conversation in the room died down. ''I love you so much Derek Shepherd''

Tears prickled her eyes and no words were or could be spoken anymore.

''I love you so much Meredith Grey'' He said and planted a kiss on her forehead, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and cupping her face in his hands.

''I love you so much, I can't even say how much I love you. You're the love of my life, my soul mate. I can't live without you Mer. I just… there are no words to describe my love for you''

This was the final straw for her upcoming tears and small but loving tears escaped her eyelids. Ones full of love for the man lying next to her. The man she always hoped to find, and after some heavy bumps in the road she got to live the life with that man. The love of her life. She was sure of that.

''The first time I saw you at Joe's. It was the first time I ever felt true love. It was something special, something so extraordinary. I started talking to you and my heart just wouldn't stop racing. You were so beautiful and I just couldn't think anymore. You were the one for me then and you're the one for me know Meredith. I love you with all my heart and I will never stop loving you''

Those words hit her like a ton of bricks and the slow flow of tears became a waterfall. She was the one now that couldn't think anymore.

''Oh Mer..'' He said and took her into his arms. ''Ssssh''

Suddenly a knock was heard on the door and Torres made her way into the room, an intern following her suit.

''Doctor Shepherd'' She said softly and professional.

''Hello Doctor Torres…'' He said confused, a frown appearing on his face. ''What's going on? Is something wrong?''

''Oh no . Nothing's wrong, It's just that my surgery went smoother than expected and so I finished earlier, which makes that we can begin earlier than expected''

She then saw the frown and confusion on his face and knew this maybe wasn't a good idea.

''Oh but if you don't want to I can just come back later. I understand if you want to wait for a little while longer''

He took her words in thought and looked over at Meredith, expecting an answer from her part.

''Mer, what do you think?'' He asked.

''I.. uhmm..'' She didn't know the answer to this question. She would like to have some time before he goes into surgery but she knew that the sooner he got into surgery the better. It was like standing in the middle of a road with two split roads leading each to another destination. Leading to two different outcomes. The thought of him going into surgery now scared her. The surgery itself isn't one of difficulty but his lungs still weren't healed fully and being under anesthesia with his lungs in still a fragile state brought risks. Small risks, but still risks. She knew they would all look out for those risks and she was reassured by the thought of Teddy standing by if something were to go wrong.

''I… It's you we're talking about Der, not me. It's your wrist. You're the one who should decide this, not me'' She said confident and assured.

He looked back from her to and when he was about to say his answer something came to his mind.

Mark.

Before going into surgery he wanted to speak to Mark. He knew the risks were small but still, they were risks and he was a doctor after all. A surgeon. He knew what could happen with the state his lungs were in. But he didn't want to think about that. Didn't want to think about the possibility of never seeing Meredith again. Never being able to live the life he wants to live with her. Never being able to say sorry to Mark and to tell him he still means something to him. To say that he's still his brother and forever will be. He'd grown so much. He couldn't let his brother down. Not after what he'd done for him and Meredith. He'd hear that he was the one who saved Meredith. If he hadn't find here who know what would've happened. And honestly, he didn't want to think about what would've happened if he hadn't found Meredith. Matter of fact was, HE saved Meredith. Mark, his brother, saved Meredith and he had shouted at him in return. Humiliated him in front of his colleagues. No. This was the time to make it up with him.

''Wait!'' He more shouted than said and both Callie and Meredith looked at him in shock.

''I.. before you do the surgery I want to speak to Mark''

The shock registered on Meredith's face was one of a severe degree and all her thoughts seemed to stop once again. She had wanted, she had planned to restore the band she knew was still viable and now Derek had made that step himself. Something she hadn't expected at all. He was so furious in that moment and she didn't want to bring up that moment till after his surgery. But now, now he had asked for Mark. All her plans for restoring their band weren't necessary anymore and she was glad. Glad that he taken the courage himself to talk to Mark and explain things.

Callie and Meredith exchanged a knowing look before Callie broke the silence.

''Oh, yeah, he's working today and I saw no surgeries on the board for him to perform for the next hour. So, should I page him?''

''Yes, thank you'' Derek replied and looked back at Meredith for some sort of confirmation that it really was okay with her. That she really was still satisfied with his approach in saying sorry to Mark and explain things now rather than after his surgery. He knew Meredith was worried for the surgery and he guessed she preferred some time alone with him before his surgery.

''Okay, then I go page him now'' She said and started to walk away. ''See you in an hour''

With the door closed again it was the two of them again and they had some time before Mark would show up. IF he would show up. He had hurt Mark's feelings badly this time and he didn't know if it was fixable.

''Derek'' Meredith spoke up, staring intently at him with her soft green eyes. Penetrating his heart each time they looked at each other.

''Mer, before you say something I just want to tell you that I really regret what I said to Mark. I really wasn't thinking and I don't expect you to forgive me for saying all those things to Mark because I know he's a really good friend to you and he.. he saved your life. And I… I'm just so grateful for that''

Her expression changed from utter shock to adoration and this time she cupped his cheeks in her hands and kissed him softly on the lips.

''Derek'' She started when she looked him in the eye, still holding his cheeks hostage. ''When you said those things to Mark I was shocked. I could see he was really hurt by your words but knew instantly you didn't mean all the words you said to him. I don't know how it feels to be in your position. To be the one who has to stay in bed and need constant care all the time. Not having the chance to be alone and clear your head for a second. But I do know what it feels like to get hurt by words and being in a emotional struggle of regret''

She gave him his cheeks back and took his hand instead to continue the conversation.

''I knew this was something fixable when the anger died down and saw you all happy and bright this morning. I saw my McDreamy again. The man who has a brother and cares for him. And knowing Mark a little bit, I think he will come''

When Meredith uttered her last words, a knock was heard on the door and they both knew who that could be.

Meredith looked at Derek who was clearly nervous about this situation but she knew he would do good. This was fixable and she was sure they would be okay someday. Probably not today but someday. And she was sure it would be soon.

''Come in'' Derek said hesitantly.

He knew he shouldn't be nervous but even though he thought it was fixable, he didn't know if Mark thought it was fixable. And that honestly scared him.

The door slowly opened and Mark made his entrance, looking slightly hesitant and awaiting.

Derek looked at his brother and saw nothing but pain. Pain he had caused.

''Mark'' Derek said slowly, not knowing what tone fits.

''Derek…'' Was the cold and only reply coming out of Mark's mouth. He still didn't look Derek in the eye but was glad he had asked for him. This had to mean he didn't mean what he had said and that he still cares for him.

It didn't come as a shock for him when he wasn't invited for Christmas with the Shepherds last year because he had messed up badly and he had hurt his best friend and the whole family with his encounters. They were right in not inviting him but that didn't mean he wasn't hurt by their discussion. And the fight with Derek didn't make it any easier. He wanted so badly to fix all of it but he was at a loss. When Addison left he didn't know what to do or where to go besides his work. He bought a small apartment in the city and whenever he invited Derek and Meredith over for dinner they refused. Meredith was the only one he still had contact with aside of work related conversations and he knew she wasn't pleased with the situation between him and Derek. Derek had every right to be mad at him and any chance he had, he wanted to make it right again or even make a small step towards being friends again. He missed the Shepherd family and he wanted to do everything in his power to make it all okay again.

''Mark, I messed up'' Derek said. ''I… I was mad and frustrated and didn't want to be treated as a baby and I know that isn't an excuse for my fall out but I was just.. not myself Mark. I really regret all the things I said to you yesterday and I hope you will someday forgive me because we're still.. we're still brothers man and I miss you. The whole family misses you.''

He had to wipe a tear away when the words were said and he couldn't look up to face him. Couldn't look up to see the reaction he had prepared for but would hurt nonetheless.

After a few long seconds of silence, Derek heard footsteps approaching and knew it couldn't be Mer's since she had taken a seat on the other side of the room. He slowly looked up to see Mark standing in front of his bed, looking at him with hesitant and distant eyes. The hurt was evident and you could see it in his eyes. He had never seen Mark look so distraught and it hurt him physically. He had done this to his brother. The only brother he had in a house full of sisters since his dad passed away and he had the time of his life with him. Sure he was mad after what happened with Addison, but Mark was still his brother and he was starting to regret refusing all the times Mark wanted to make it right. One day when he invited Meredith and him over for dinner for the sixth time in one month he accepted. Not because he wanted it but because Meredith insisted. They had had a fight that day and he wanted to make it right to her. But when the evening fell and Meredith was ready to go he said he was tired, didn't wanna fight with Mark and said he had an early surgery he wanted to be fresh for. Meredith called and cancelled the dinner, leaving Mark with a load some of food he had prepared and cooked himself for 4 hours. It was now that he realized how badly he had hurt Mark for all those months and he hated himself for it.

''I can't say I'm not hurt by what you said Derek'' Mark spoke. ''But I'm glad..'' Small tears escaped his eyes but he made no attempt to wipe them away. ''I'm glad you still feel like we're brothers. I messed up too and I deserved every word you said to me. I cheated on your wife and I should've never done that. I'm..''

His words escaped him and Meredith stood slowly up and limped her way towards Mark, embracing him tightly.

It was the first time both Derek and Mark had a small smile on their faces when they were in a room together and it made Meredith's heart flutter. This was what she was hoping for and even though there was still a lot to work on, they made the first step towards being brothers again and that was all Meredith needed for now…

''So, you're having your surgery today'' Mark said, looking his brother in the eye again.

''Yes. Any minute from now'' Derek replied.

''You nervous man?'' Mark asked, not knowing what to talk about, and since walking away when you've just reconciled the bond between your brother is not the right move, he opted for a pretty straight forward conversation.

''Seeing the other side of being in the OR makes me kinda nervous but it's not like you when you were 8 and kissed a girl for the first time'' Derek replied and looked at Mark with a smirk on his face.

''Yeah, just hold onto that Derek'' Mark laughed sarcastically but with an evident smirk on his face.'' You turned 16 when you kissed a girl for the first time and it took you the whole night to pull that off'' Mark fired back.

''Yeah…'' Derek said. ''The only difference between you and me is that they stick with me'' Derek laughed slightly and winked at Meredith before passionately pressing his lips onto hers, showing how it's done.

''Yeah, just wait and see Derek'' Although he couldn't wait to feel the same love and joy Derek must feel with Meredith and to be honest, he was kind of jealous. Jealous at his brother, who's always been the one not to go after the girls when he did all night. Coming home with a new girl almost each week and feeling the joy and pleasure of being a teenage boy meant nothing to him now, when he's all grown up and sees his brother with his wife, happy and content. Love circling around them whenever they're together.

He never wanted the life Derek has lived when he was a teenage boy, not feeling the pleasure of being with a girl and making love to her. He's lived the life every teenage boy dreamed of and still, he has nothing in the end. No wife he could love, no one to stick by him forever. Deep down inside he knew he wasn't meant for being the perfect husband. He would always be the guy brining girls home from the bar and reliving the old good memories of being a teenage boy full who's body is running on testosterone, but Lexie changed his mind somewhat. Lexie was the first girl he actually liked. The first girl he fell in love with and the first girl he thought of spending the rest of his life with. It all turned out differently but the thought of actually spending the rest of your life with the one you love made his heart flutter and that was the first time he realized himself that he's changed. He didn't want to be the guy who could only brings girls home for the night and could never actually be with a girl for more than a week. Lexie has changed that dramatically and now he realized a girl never made his heart flutter as much as Lexie did and he knew he wanted to be with Lexie… forever.

''Mark'' Derek laughed. ''Where are you?''

''What?'' Mark snapped back, only now realizing he wasn't on planet earth for the last few minutes but on Venus. With Lexie deep in thought.

''I.. I was just'' But Mark couldn't finish his sentence when a rather soft knock was heard on the door and a seemingly nervous intern stepped into the room, coming to prepare Derek for his surgery.

''Uhmm.. ?'' The nervous intern started and her cheeks flushed slightly red when she saw him. ''I'm going.. to prepare you for your surgery''

Derek has seen many interns in his life and has heard or overheard the many conversations from either the nurses at the nurses' station or from Meredith's friends and that way he knew his body was probably still in shape and the way the intern acted towards him made it prove once again and that put a smile of proud on his face. 'Good news for Meredith' he thought and his smile grew bigger.

He nodded at the intern and let her do her work.

''Well, see you later man'' Mark said and patted his shoulder. ''Good luck and don't try to pull anything funny there, I just got you back man'' And he laughed slightly at his own words. He rarely said anything that resembles love or care for his brother and the fact that he said it now brought a genuine smile to his lips. He was finally proud of being able to care and not be the tough guy all the time. It made things much more easier and better for him and the people around him who all care for him too. It was a happy sight and he was planning on continuing that sight.

''I try not too'' Derek replied with a smirk on his face. He knew things could go wrong during the surgery but he was confident that it wouldn't. He knew how his body was doing and knew that his lungs had improved so much over those 8 days that he had faith that everything would turn out okay and that he could start fresh, with a restored bond between Mark and him and the never ending love for Meredith. His beautiful wife that he loves with all his heart.

''See you soon Der'' Meredith said and kissed him passionately on the lips before wiping her tears away. Not tears of sadness or hate but tears of pure love. The love she has felt for only one person in her life and that person was Derek. Her Derek. Her husband whom she loves with all her heart.

''You ready Doctor Shepherd?'' Callie asked him.

Derek gave her a firm nod before adding: ''It's a beautiful day to save lives. Let's have some fun''

And before his eyes closed and the world around him went black, the thought of his beautiful wife next to him in their own bed crossed his mind and he was gonna make sure to make that thought reality…


	21. Chapter 21

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 21!_

_I'm so sorry for the long wait. I was extremely busy with school. I had a big project to finish and it was 57 pages of hard work with 2 class mates. On top of that, I had to learn for my exams which took a great amount of my time. So the result of all of that was that I couldn't find the time to write chapter 21. Last week I finally found time to write so here's chapter 21 for all of you! I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you thought of it by leaving me a REVIEW!_

_At last, I have to say that after this chapter there will probably be one more chapter. So that means that chapter 22 will probably be my last which means the end of this story. I can't say that for sure since I have a few ideas of how to write an end to this story and which one I will choose will determine whether I write an extra chapter or not. So for now I can only say enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you thought of it! _

_Enjoy! _

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**chapter 21: Moving forward**

_And before his eyes closed and the world around him went black, the thought of his beautiful wife next to him in their own bed crossed his mind and he was gonna make sure to make that thought reality…_

''Mer!'' Cristina called to her friend as she saw her walking out of the restroom.

Meredith looked up and saw her friend walking towards her, carrying a sandwich that made her stomach growl.

''Hey, I wanted to talk to you, do you have the time?'' Cristina asked.

''Oh, oh yeah, of course'' She said and strolled behind Cristina into an empty exam room.

''Here'' Cristina said when they shut the door behind them and took a seat on the bed. ''Take this'' and she handed the sandwich to Meredith who reluctantly shook her head.

''I'm not hungry''

''Yes you are'' Cristina said demonstrative. ''So take the sandwich, chew, and swallow. It's not that hard, and besides, I'm sure Derek needs you when he comes out of surgery and you can't be there for him when you're lying in a hospital bad yourself, so take it''

Meredith slowly took the sandwich from Cristina's hands and took a bite.

''Good girl'' Cristina replied and slipped of the bed to stand right in front of her person. She was going to say what was on her mind since.. since that day and her person should know what happened to Derek. Should know the emotional aspect of the situation and not only the medical aspect. She knew her person wanted to know that and it was only fair that she knew.

''Mer…'' Cristina said, almost a whisper and Meredith looked at her with great concern.

''What..what's wrong?'' Meredith panicked and went to stand up. ''Is there something wrong with Derek? Oh my God, did he die?''

''No, no!'' Cristina immediately replied. ''It's nothing to do with Derek. Well, it's something to do with Derek but not with his surgery''

This settled her down a bit but she still looked at her person with concern. She had no clue as to what Cristina wanted to say to her about Derek and it only raised her confusion and worry.

''What.. what's going on Cristina?''

''I wanted to talk to you about the day we brought Derek in'' She said and saw the intense hurt on her person's face. It sure brought bad memories back but she knew her person wanted to hear it so she chose to continue.

''When Owen and I got to Derek, he was in a pretty bad shape and on the way to the helicopter he began seizing. We had it under control pretty soon but only a few minutes later he began seizing again and when he woke up after we stabilized him he spoke some words which were hard to comprehend but he.. he was asking for you Mer''

Meredith's eyes welled up and tears were making small pathways on her cheek. She knew Derek had seized twice on the way over but nobody told her that he was awake or even asked for her. She hadn't known if he was in pain or if he was scared. As a doctor she knew he must have been in pain but when the tables were turned, there was no way of knowing something for sure. Worry and panic took over her brain until she got word that he was stable and all thoughts escaped her mind. Everything was blank and she couldn't think of anything except that Derek was alive and that was enough for her. She hadn't thought of Derek's feelings. Never talked to him about it, only yelled at him for being angry with Mark. At the time she hadn't thought that his outburst could be a result of that day. Being hospitalized for almost 2 weeks and not being able to feel human again. When she thought about it everything made sense and she felt selfish for not knowing earlier.

Cristina's eyes began watering but she continued what she wanted to say.

''I thought you wanted to know that. At first I thought he was just babbling something but he was clearly asking for you and I didn't have any idea where you were and I knew that if I told him that he would panic and only make things worse for himself. Luckily he passed out immediately after and we got him into the helicopter so he didn't suffer much. He was out of it most of the time''

''Thank you Cristina'' Meredith said and slipped of the bed to embrace her person. She was really fortunate to have such a friend and knew she could always rely on her when she was down and needed something to cheer her up. ''That was really…really'' She sniffled but she didn't care. ''Thank you'' and she tightened her hold for a few seconds before letting go.

They both had to laugh when they looked at each other and saw each other's face.

Their faces were red and wet with black streaks of mascara but they didn't care. At that moment all worries were gone and it felt great. It felt great to feel happy again and not worry about the next minute.

Suddenly a shrill shriek filled the room and Meredith immediately grabbed her pager.

A small smile crept up her face when she read 'Derek Recovery Room' and gave her person a quick hug that said nothing but happiness and it made Cristina smile too.

''Derek is in Recovery now so I'm gonna go over there now'' She rattled off her sentence and quickly disappeared into the hallway. She couldn't wait to see Derek again and hoped everything went well.

''See ya!'' Cristina said sarcastically when Meredith had already disappeared into the hallway and picked up the sandwich to take a bite before throwing it into the bin and walking out of the room.

''Alex!'' She said when she saw him standing by the nurses' station. ''You want a sandwich?''

''What sandwich'' Alex asked and looked at Cristina expectantly.

''It's in there'' she said and pointed to the exam room. ''It's french cheese, tomato and lettuce''

''Hell yeah'' He said and walked into the exam room. His hunger taking the better of him.

A few seconds later he came out and walked back to his charts. ''Funny Yang'' He said sarcastically and picked up his charts and left.

''Bye Evil Spawn! Have a nice day'' She waved after him. ''Oh, and I heard they have delicious sandwiches in the cafeteria'' She added and couldn't suppress her laughter.

Meredith quickened her pace when she entered the CICU wing. She had hoped that he could be transferred to a regular ICU room and then after a few days to step-down but since his lungs were still not the way they wanted it to be so he was still assigned to a CICU room.

When she got to his room she flew the door open and saw her husband sleeping peacefully in his bed. A smile formed on her lips when she saw that there was no obtrusive tube down his throat. A clean oxygen mask was softly resting on his face, giving him the oxygen he still needed.

''Doctor Grey'' Teddy suddenly said and Meredith jumped at the sound. She hadn't looked past Derek's bed and hadn't noticed Teddy who was busy writing notes on his chart.

''Oh hey Doctor Altman'' She greeted. ''Did everything go well with his surgery, no complications?'' She asked softly. Derek was looking good and by his appearance she guessed there were no complications but as a doctor, a surgeon she knew that just the appearance of a person could not tell you what was going on on the inside. One minute the patient can be fine and the next he could die on the operating table. There was just no way of knowing for sure and that scared her.

''No, nothing at all'' Teddy smiled and put the chart back in its holder.

''If all goes well he can be transferred to a regular room tonight'' She said and Meredith's smile grew bigger. ''We kept him in the CICU for a few extra days because we wanted to monitor him more closely since he had his relapse but his sats are just the way we want them and he has remained stable after his surgery, so if all goes well, tonight will be the night''

''Really?'' She asked. She still couldn't believe what Altman just told her and out of surprise she gave her a big hug.

''Thank you. Thank you so much'' She said and quickly walked over to Derek's bedside.

She was over the moon and not one word could escape her lips. She kissed him on his forehead and to her surprise he slowly opened his eyes. This really was like a fairytale. She had to laugh and began stroking his hair. ''Hey my lovely frog'' She said and laughed lightly.

''What…'' He said confused, still groggy from the anesthesia.

''You opened your eyes when I kissed you and I think that's from a fairytale, only I kissed you on the forehead instead of the lips but it worked apparently'' She giggled.

Derek's lips curled into a smile and then his mouth opened. ''Am I that ugly?''

This made Meredith even laugh harder and she lifted his oxygen mask to give him a passionate kiss on the lips and even the kiss was from a fairytale. It was what they both needed after everything that had happened and when their kiss broke she already saw his eyelids drooping and placed the oxygen mask back on his face. She gave him one last kiss on the forehead before quietly walking out of his room. She couldn't wait to tell Mark and her friends and she was sure that everything was going to be alright in the end.

It was barely a few minutes later when Meredith had already found Mark leaning against the nurses' station. She laughed at the sight. 'They could so be biological brothers' she thought. They had the same way of leaning against desks and even his smile reminded her of Derek. Her smile even grew bigger when she saw that Mark noticed her walking towards him and opened his arms for her. She gladly accepted the hug and they both stood there for a good few seconds before they parted and Meredith told him the great news.

''Really?'' He asked her and. She nodded.

''If all goes well he should be in a regular room by tonight Teddy said''

''That's great news!'' Mark beamed.

She looked at her watch and then said: ''I think he's awake by now. You could see him if you want''

''Yeah, in a bit. I just need to stitch this one guy and then I'II be right up. He's in the same room right?''

''Yes'' She answered.

''Okay, see you in a bit then'' He said and walked away.

Meredith was smiling from ear to ear. Everything was going well. Mark was happy with Lexie, Cristina with Owen and she had the one person that meant the world to her. Everything was going great and she couldn't imagine losing it someday. She told herself not to look at the things that could go wrong but to look at the bright sight. She shoved Dark&Twisty Meredith to the background and Happy Meredith made its full appearance again.

She looked at her watch once more and decided to go back to Derek. Mark could be there any minute and she couldn't wait to see her husband again…

Derek was wide awake since half an hour ago and was surprised at how much strength he had already gained. He felt like he was up for a walk but actually wanted nothing more than to go home. He did realize what happened to him and in what shape he came in but he finally had the energy again and wanted to get out of this place as soon as possible.

He was getting bored and wondered where Meredith was. He missed his wife already but knew that she hadn't slept well over the past week and needed the sleep. He knew that he would need help when he got home and wondered how Meredith would handle that since she still has her cast.

He looked at the clock on the wall and it showed 4:34 PM. He sure hadn't slept long but he didn't want to waste his sudden boost of energy and decided to at least stand up and see how that goes. Maybe take a walk if all goes well.

He took one deep breath before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He took a few long seconds before slowly going over into a standing position. The cold floor of his CICU room send chills down his spine but it felt good to finally be standing on both feet.

He grabbed his I.V pole and started to take his first step. It was slow and deliberated but he was moving, and that was all he needed for now.

He was about to take his second step when he heard the door open. Meredith was standing in the doorway staring with wide-eyes towards him.

''What.. what are you doing?'' She said, utterly confused and surprised as to why he was trying to walk. He wasn't even cleared to stand up let alone take a walk.

''I was just going for a walk'' He replied while he shrugged and flashed his McDreamy smile towards his wife.

''Don't try to be funny on me mister. You're healing, but that doesn't mean you're suddenly allowed to walk on your own without permission or go grocery shopping'' She said, trying to sound strict, but it didn't help. He was still blinding her eyes with his adorable smile and she couldn't help but smile back.

''Well, are you going to go back to bed or should I ask a nurse?'' She said while crossing her arms and trying to look strict again.

''No nurse'' He said immediately and shook his head.. ''I'm going, I'm going'' and was already making his way back to bed.

''Good'' She said and walked towards his bed. ''You need any help'' She asked.

''No, I'm okay'' He said with a cold tone and slowly got back into bed.

She noticed his sudden change of behavior and got closer.

''Is something wrong?'' She asked worried.

He stared at the sheets and shrugged slightly. ''I just wanna go home'' He said.

'Shit' Meredith thought. She had completely forgotten to tell him the great news. ''No'' She said and Derek looked up at her and frowned in confusion.

''I.. I.. I mean yes, yes, of course you wanna go home. I.. I mean you're going to go home''

''What?'' He asked surprised. ''You mean now?''

''No'' Meredith said, she was at a complete los of words and didn't know how to say what she actually wanted to say. ''I mean yes, I spoke to Teddy and if all goes well and you remain stable, you can be transferred to a regular room and maybe go home in a day or two''

''Really?'' Derek asked with a huge smile on his face. ''You mean I get to come home in a day or two?''

''If all goes well, yes'' She said and smiled profoundly.

''Come here'' Derek said and opened his arms for her.

She gladly accepted and he planted a kiss on her forehead.

''I love you so much Meredith Grey''

''I love you so much Derek Shepherd'' She said and kissed him passionately on the lips.

''I wanna grow old with you and die in your arms when I'm 110'' He replied and gave each other one last, deep kiss before they parted and Meredith sat down in the stool by his bedside, holding his hand tightly into hers.

''I asked Mark to come by and see you, is that okay?''

''It's okay'' He said and flashed a smile. ''I need to talk to him anyways''

Just as he finished his sentence, the door opened and Mark made his way into the room.

''Hey man'' He said. ''You feeling good I see''

''I'm feeling great knowing that I get to go home in a few days''

Mark smiled at his answer. He really was glad that his 'brother', his best friends since they were kids was doing so good all things considered. He remembered what Meredith had told him about staying over for a couple of days to help out but he didn't know how Derek would feel about that. They were obviously on better terms than a few days ago but staying over and helping them out was a slightly bigger thing than going by and see how he's doing. He knew Derek and knew that he didn't like to be in a position when he's vulnerable and need help with basic needs.

''Derek, Meredith'' Mark began. ''I know we didn't go along very well over the past few months so I'm…I'm very grateful for the second chance you both gave me'' Mark stuttered. ''So..I'd just like to ask you guys over for dinner sometime''

Meredith and Derek exchanged a knowing look and smiled at Mark. They both have pondered about the situation and wanted nothing more than a fresh start.

''We'd love to'' Meredith smiled and grabbed Derek's hand.

Mark smiled back and was at that moment the happiest man on earth. For some people a dinner with friends isn't a big deal but for him it is. At first sight you don't get to see the real man behind that confidence and self-indulged face, but once you get through that thick skin, you see the real Mark. The one who actually does have feelings. The one who cares for the people he loves, the one who loves his family unconditionally he would do everything for them. So once you get to know him, you love him.

Mark and Meredith exchanged a knowing look and knew what they still had to discuss with Derek before he would go home.

''Derek'' Meredith said and nodded at Mark.

''What's.. what's… is something wrong?'' Derek frowned and stared at the both of them. He didn't know what they wanted to say and if it was something bad, he actually preferred not to hear it.

''No'' Mark said immediately before Meredith could answer him. ''It's just something we want to discuss with you before going through with it''

Derek's frown deepened even more and he had no clue as to what they wanted to discuss with him.

''It's…'' but before Mark could answer Derek, Meredith took over.

''I asked if Mark could stay over for a couple of days when you're out of the hospital to help us out a bit since we're both not that mobile. Is that okay with you because a few days ago you said.. and I don't know if..''

''It's okay'' Derek replied only a few seconds later. He didn't need to think about that very long. He knew they couldn't take care of each other and Mark volunteering to help them out would be a great help. He had had plenty of time to think things through and besides the help he would offer, it would be a great story to tell his family and friends.

''You mean… it's okay?'' Mark asked surprised. He never expected him to say yes so quickly. He told himself not to take it so badly when he wouldn't want the help since the whole scene a few days was just all about offering the help. But this, he hadn't expected that answer at all and it was overwhelming him.

It was relieved and his day couldn't get any better. They agreed to come over for dinner, his brother accepted the help, and he would go home in just a few days. It was all just so overwhelming and he had to sit down for a second.

''You tired already maid?'' Derek joked and smiled sheepishly.

''Ha-ha'' Mark said sarcastically but smiled at the remark. Everything was looking great and he couldn't wait till things were all normal again.

Meredith couldn't stop smiling. Everything was falling into place and she couldn't get more happier. Derek was doing great, Mark was looking happier than ever and for now she wanted nothing more than to be with Derek, and when Mark left to go home, and Derek's eyes were slowly closing, she snuggled up next to him and lay her head on his chest.

''I love you'' She said.

''I love you to Meri'' He said and kissed the top of her head.

With that, their eyes closed and the world around them went black. Hoping that when they woke up, a new room would welcome them. A room that would bring him one step closer to being home again..


	22. Chapter 22

_Author's Note:_

_So, here's chapter 22, the last chapter of this story._

_A lot of thoughts are going through my head right now and I can't believe this will be the last chapter of my story: 'The One Decision You Will Always Regret'. It's been a crazy ride, but one of joy and pride. I started to write on my first chapter in July and I can't believe it's March already! _

_When I now look back at my first chapter I can see a progress in my writing skills but I still hope to be able to write just like AriaAdiago. She's an amazing writer and I'm a huge fan of her stories. _

_I also want to thank all of you who were with me from the beginning and all the reviews I got from you guys, I really appreciated them. Thank you all so much!_

_I'm planning to write a one-shot about the drowning incident of Meredith but with a different spin (no, no deaths, I promise :p ) So look out for that one! _

_For now I can only say, enjoy the last chapter and I hope I will see you all back with my one-shot! _

_Goodbye!_

_Warm regards,_

_Isabel_

_Disclaimer:__ I do not own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun._

**Chapter 22: Happier than ever**

_With that, their eyes closed and the world around them went black. Hoping that when they woke up, a new room would welcome them. A room that would bring him one step closer to being home again.. _

It was Thursday, July the 7th and today was the day he could finally go home. He had been waiting for this day forever and the fact that that day was finally here made him forget all the things that had happened in the past 8 days. Miranda had discharged him that morning and now he watched Meredith packing all his stuff. He sighed slightly at the sight but knew he couldn't do a thing about it. His arm was still safely wrapped in a cast that prevented him from doing almost any work imaginable but he was glad to see that Meredith was doing alright and although he knew that that day left its scars, he was happy to see that everything was going alright for the two of them and more importantly, that day gave him Mark back and he was happier than ever. Everything was finally falling into place…

''You ready?'' Meredith asked Derek when she put his last things in his bag and made her way over to his bed.

''Ready than ever'' He replied and bent forward to kiss her softly on the lips.

''I love you'' She said softly and smiled before slowly standing up and picking up his bag to carry it to the car.

''I'II be right back'' She said and slowly walked out of the room. Her cast had been taken of yesterday and she now had walking cast that made it easier to move around a bit and she was already making full use of it even though her doctor had told her to take it slowly the first few days.

He smiled at the sight though and knew that he needed to be patient. He was thankful for Mark for wanting to stay with them and helping out where needed and he would try his hardest not to make the same mistake with Mark again.

Derek was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a knock on the door and Miranda Bailey made her way into the room, carrying a chart with her that made Derek smile from ear to ear.

''Not so fast mister'' Bailey said.

''What?'' He frowned, confusing etching his face.

'' I still need to listen to your lungs before I'm discharging you'' She said and looked at him sternly.

''Right'' He immediately responded, not wanting to start an argument with Bailey.

''I thought so'' She said, softly placing the cold membrane of the stethoscope over his left lung.

''Hey!'' Derek shouted and Bailey looked at him without any facial expressions. ''Baby'' she said before moving the stethoscope over his right lung.

''I thought doctors always warned the patient beforehand''

Bailey didn't give a crimp but after a few seconds of silence, she finally spoke.

''Your lungs sounds good'' She said and hung the stethoscope back over her neck.

''Great'' Derek smiled and had now only eyes for the piece of paper laying on the table next to him.

''Fine'' Bailey muttered and picked it up for him to sign the discharge papers.

He couldn't hide the big smile that was plastered across his face. He had waited for this moment for what seemed like forever and now he could finally go home. He could finally fall asleep in his own bed again with Meredith laying next to him and the thought made his heart flutter.

After Derek handed Bailey the signed papers she walked out of the room but not before saying something that makes you see the other side of Doctor Bailey. ''Well, I have to say, I hope to see you back soon Doctor Shepherd''

''I hope to see you back soon too Doctor Bailey'' He smiled and knew that she meant every single word of what she had just said…

He lay back on the bed thinking about the past 8 days he had spent in this bed. A small smile plastered across his face when various memories of his youth hit him. He and Mark had done so much stupid things when they were young and he couldn't remember the countless times he or Mark ended up in the ER, but even those memories were what made him smile 25 years later.

''What are you smiling at'' Meredith's voice filled the room.

''Oh, just some memories from when I was young'' He smiled.

''Good ones I can see'' She smiled and pushed the wheelchair into his room.

His smile faded when his eyes laid on the wheelchair and he looked up at Meredith with pleading eyes.

''Hospital policy'' She only said. ''I know you want to get out of here so I know you will sit in the chair'' She said smiling lightly.

''Fine'' He said and stood up to slowly sink down in the chair.

When they were near the double doors and only a few steps away from being out of here, Cristina jumped in front of them, making Derek sigh heavily.

''What's with the sighing McDreamy?'' She said sarcastically and flashed a smile.

''I thought I was done here'' He said, sounding irritated.

''Just wanted to know how you were doing''

''You've seen me'' He replied bitter. ''I think you know how I'm doing''

''Yeah I know, I've read your chart. I just wanted to see for myself'' She paused. ''How's your wrist?''

''Healing'' He said. ''I have a follow-up in 2 weeks and then I probably get a new cast for four more weeks and then I can start physical therapy''

''Good, that's good'' She replied and flashed a small smile. She knew her and Derek weren't good friends and she also knew that she was the one who caused it but she couldn't get the image of his wrist out of her head. She had seen many broken wrists but seeing such a complicated fracture from someone you know is different and she hoped that she would never see it again.

''Well, I think I'II go now, my cardiovascular repair is calling for me'' She smiled weakly and walked away.

''You ready?'' She giggled.

''Like I was 3 hours ago'' He said a bit grumpy.

''Let's go then, Mark is probably already waiting for us in the car'' She said.

When they were through the double doors they could already see the big black SUV blocking the sight of many vehicles in the parking lot.

''Hey, where were you two, I've been waiting forever you know'' He said with a small smile.

''Cristina interrupted'' Derek said and motioned for Meredith to stop pushing the wheelchair.

''You need any help?'' Meredith asked.

''No, I'II manage'' He said and pushed himself up, slowly getting himself into a standing position.

''Hey man, I don't have all day. Hurry up a bit'' Mark winked.

He rolled his eyes at Mark's remark but didn't speed up his pace.

''The women practically come running to get to me man and you…''

''Well, I'm not a woman Mark so stop whining'' He said and got into the car with Meredith's help.

They slowly sped out of Seattle Grace's parking lot and made their way onto the highway, now only 10 minutes away from being home again and both Derek and Meredith couldn't wish for a better outcome. They knew they were lucky, coming out of it with injuries that were fixable. They knew it could have been much worse and that scared them. But they were gonna get home and things were looking great. Richard told them they had to see a psychiatrist before he would give the all-clear to work again but they were glad that it had ended so well and that they both survived. They were still weeks or months away from being able to work again but healing was their top priority and they were glad Mark didn't mind staying with them for a few days.

The car came to a halt and they were home again. Finally home and they both smiled at the sight of their house again. There would be no nurses to bother you at night, no noises coming from the hallway, no one waking you up early in the morning, but most of all, they would finally be able to lay in bed with each other again without all the leads on monitors getting in the way.

When Mark was bringing their stuff into their house again, Meredith noticed how pale Derek had become and quickly motioned him to sit down on the porch.

''Are you having trouble breathing?'' She asked concerned. His sweating and silence concerned her a bit and Altman had told them to take it slow the first week since his lungs weren't 100% yet and he could still develop pneumonia.

''No…'' He replied out of breath. ''walking… tires me''

''Okay, let's stay here for a sec then. Do you need to use the inhaler Altman gave you?'' She asked.

He nodded and Meredith quickly handed him the inhaler.

''Feeling better?'' She asked.

''Yeah'' He replied weakly and went to stand up again.

''Come on, let's lay down for a bit okay?''

He nodded and they both went into their house and slowly took the stairs up to their bedroom.

''Mark'' She called.

''I'm coming'' He replied immediately and quickly climbed up the stairs, finding them in their bedroom with a seemingly pale Derek.

''You okay man?'' Mark frowned.

''Yeah'' He answered. ''I'm just tired… and the walking and the.. excitement of the day.. all too much I think''

''Just call me when you need anything okay, that's why I'm her for you know'' He replied with a smile.

''Thanks Marky'' Meredith replied.

''Uhm.. I'm making something to eat, you two want anything?''

''No we're good I think'' She smiled and looked at Derek who nodded in agreement.

''Okay, then I leave you two alone now'' He said and closed the door behind him.

They untied their shoes but didn't bother to undress themselves and quickly got into bed together. The soft bed and clean sheets made it feel like home again and they snuggled up against each other, enjoying the warmth and comfort.

''Oh, don't forget to take your anticonvulsants'' Meredith suddenly said '' you need to take them twice a day and-''

''Mer..'' He interrupted her calmly. ''I know, I know. I'm a doctor too you know'' And he smiled gently while rubbing her upper arm lightly.

''Yeah I know but you have so much pills to take and-''

''Shhhh'' He said softly, trying to calm her down a bit. ''It's all gonna be okay Mer, don't worry about me too much okay. We have survived this and we will come out of this much stronger, I promise''

She looked him straight in the eyes and knew he was right. He was always right and she sometimes hated to admit it but he was happy, and that made her happy and Mark was happy and it all happened so fast but she was glad that it had all happened. They had gotten a second chance, a chance they would use well and although Derek still had a long way to go he would recover completely and they would be able to live their lives like normal again, but with one big difference. Mark as their friend again...

''What do you think'' Derek suddenly said. ''We could go camping in the woods next week. I mean, we're both off from work for some time and-'' But he couldn't finish his sentence when Meredith smacked his arm lightly and gasped audibly. ''Derek!'' She said, wanting to sound stern, but she couldn't help laughing lightly and he laughed along with her till they both fell asleep, safe and sound in each other's arms…


End file.
